7 Fundamental ways for you to be an effective listener

"IF were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear."

- Mark Twain

Interrupting or trying to finish others' sentences could make them feel frustrated or annoyed.

Finally, they might ask, "Are you here only to speak about yourself? Would you try to hear what my opinion is?"

Has it ever happened to you?

That's why it suggested giving preference to listen actively to what the other person wants to say.

Since you also expect the person standing next to you is listening to you with full attention.

And, importantly, to advance your career, you need to be well-versed in communication skills.

To be an effective communicator, you need to get better at your listening skills.

According to a survey that took place in Italy in 2016, one in two respondents(Number of respondents = 1,202) believed that managers should have these core skills - active listening and the ability to verify weaknesses and strengths to boost diversity and inclusion in a company.

Reference -

https://www.statista.com/statistics/822952/managers-skills-for-diversity-and-inclusion-italy/

That's why this article's motive is to help you with seven fundamental ways to be an effective listener which will drastically improve your listening skills.

Let's jump straight in our topic,

Seven fundamental ways for you to be an effective listener:

1. Don't interrupt, let the speaker finish talking.

Students are taught that it is disrespectful to interrupt the person speaking something. But, they don't tend to follow it for long.

Interrupting conveys signal to the speaker that lead to negative perceptions, such as:

• You don't care what the speaker thinks and says.
• You don't have time to listen to someone.
• Your own opinions are more important than others.
• You consider yourself superior to another person.

Wait! Be patient,

Give enough time to the speaker to express his/her message. If, somehow, you're dissatisfied at any point. Don't jump into the ongoing communication instantly. It may show you to be rude. Firstly, let the speaker finish talking. Then, you could state your viewpoints.

2. Avoid mentally distracting thoughts

To be an active and engaged listener, you need to be conscious about avoiding your prejudiced thoughts. Like:

"What a silly comment."

While listening to someone, such kind of self-dialogues compromise your ability to be a genuine listener.

Hence, you have to come with broad-mindedness, else your selfish behavior could lay you off track.

3. Ask relevant questions.

It is another aptitude of an effective listeners to ask good and relevant questions associated with the continuing discussion.

Asking questions show your eagerness to know more, engagement and activeness to listen to the speaker.

Point to consider - It's not merely about asking questions, it's about asking relevant questions.

Because, especially in informal discussions, someone's unsuitable question shifts the conversation to another topic.

Let me elucidate it with an example:

Suppose a girl is communicating with her friend about a destination wedding she attended last week. She is sharing about the place - its beauty, great things, how she enjoyed the wedding and that place.

After the question being asked by her friend about another person. They will likely start talking about that person and further other topics. They won't have an idea they spent a long time discussing other issues and there was a lot to share about the experience of destination wedding.

So, ask questions to be answered and related to continuing the conversation.

4. Give informational respond actively(both verbally and non-verbally)

When the speaker receives the response simultaneously from the listener.

Such as:

"You were blissful at that time!"

"Sounds interesting! tell me something more about it."

"That's awful."

Such responses encourage the speaker to communicate and share further. The speaker receives and observes your non-verbal responses also. Your non-verbal signs may exclude consciously or unconsciously.

When you don't want to listen to someone anymore, your physical behavior is enough to stop the discussion.

For example - Your cold-face, passive response, have glance somewhere in the surrounding, sitting with folded arms and direction of sitting pointed away from the speaker.

That's why pay heed to your non-verbal behavior to respond well and be a good listener.

5. Observe what the speaker hasn't communicated - non-verbal cues

Be attentive to note down the speaker's non-verbal cues. You could know about their mood, attitude and interest by observing their facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, and hand gestures. Observing and understanding speakers' feelings through their physical behavior help you get engaged well in communication.

Furthermore, speakers' tone of voice indicates their level of confidence, truthfulness, and self-belief. For example - A teacher understands whether the student is lying by noticing his/her facial expressions and tone of voice.

6. Be attentive and focused during the communication.

It might seem apparent to be attentive and focused while listening to someone. However, most people listen poorly by not following along with the speaker from the beginning to the ending of their message.

To be focused at the moment, try to avoid your distractive thoughts. Pay undivided attention to both words and unspoken feelings of the communicator. Note down the speakers' non-verbal nuances. By doing so, you can read between the lines, which would help you contribute even better in communication.

7. Be a genuine empathetic listener.

Genuine listening helps you connect with people and understand their feelings. Moreover, the speaker feels valued and understood. It can be one of the reasons that people prefer to go to a counselor, therapist, and close friend.

While listening to someone, it's better to avoid giving quick solutions and uninvited advice. The communicator just wants you to listen and understand.

Some people think empathetic feelings are shown only for sad expressions. No, not at all, it is all about expressing your feeling as the speaker feels such as joy, enthusiasm, laughter, and sadness.

Another noteworthy point is that it doesn't go against being empathetic if you are odd in your views. In fact it shows your self-confidence and self-belief. The manner you use to state your viewpoints, that matters.

Take a look - There is a colossal difference between your belief that you're right. And, another one is when you want to prove that the other person is wrong.

Summarizing -

Listening is the beginning to build strong and meaningful relationships with others. It shows you value the other person and their opinions. Go through the above-written ways and follow in casual as well as formal communications to be a thoughtful listener

Point to note - Don't listen just for the sake of yourself. Be genuine and let the speaker know about it.