7 Favorite Dale Carnegie Quotes

Dale Carnegie, born to poverty in Missouri in 1888, became a successful American writer and self-improvement lecturer. He believed public speaking was a key to fostering self-esteem and confidence in one’s communication and interaction skills. Carnegie’s writings and radio program brought him popularity, but his publication of How to Win Friends and Influence People in 1930 was highly successful. It is one of the best bestselling books of all time, and as of this date, it is #8 on Amazon’s Most Read Books.

Here are seven Dale Carnegie quotations among my favorites.

“Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.”

For many people, external things are drivers of happiness, such as personal relationships, wealth and material possessions, popularity and one’s social status, occupation and position, and degree of power and influence. Contentment is directly proportional to their total assets and available resources.

Circumstances also are an influence—whether or not life is going well or filled with challenges and hardship. For some, external factors are the predominant determinants of happiness. Their satisfaction fluctuates based on their inventory of things both tangible and intangible.

However, external conditions are not reliable sources of happiness. Ever notice that some people who seem to have everything are quite unhappy while others who are disadvantaged, perhaps even impoverished, are relatively happy?

You can establish your level of happiness by programming and controlling your mental attitude. Make a conscious choice to be contented and grateful for what’s good and right in your life rather than centering your happiness on your external environments.

“The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”

If you have followed me for a while, then you probably know that I like this theme—learning and growth come from experience. We should take advantage of our mistakes by using them as opportunities for personal development.

Your positive outcomes teach you, of course. But, realize that negative results hold lessons for you as well. From your mistakes and failures, you can discover insights that success alone cannot provide.

Remember, knowledge gained from thousands of unsuccessful experiments enabled Thomas Edison and his team to develop the first practical incandescent light bulb.

You will make mistakes. So, look for and learn from the valuable lessons they hold.

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.”

I’ve lived long enough to experience all of these: worry—apprehension and dread, frustration—irritation and exasperation, and resentment—bitterness and animosity. I can attest that being burdened by one is troubling enough; collectively they are exhausting. Don’t be captivated by these emotions or they will overwhelm you.

Instead, let your effort and creativity at your work tire you. A productive day will do that. Then: stop working on time, eat well, relax by spending time with family or friends or doing something you enjoy, and get sufficient sleep.

You can recover from work fatigue routinely. But, worry, frustration, and resentment can produce constant weariness of mind and body. Learn to moderate these negative emotions and seek help if needed.  

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

There may be some exceptions, but usually, the most interesting person to you is you. And, for me, it’s me. That’s just human nature.

However, because that’s the case, we can gain the interest and friendship of others when we show our interest in them. It’s best, of course, if your interest in the other person is genuine.

Communication—proper communication, that is—requires both speaking and listening. To be characterized as a great conversationalist, be quiet and listen. If you fully engage in listening, instead of formulating your next sentence while people are talking, they will perceive you as being genuinely interested in them and what they have to say.

Zig Ziglar said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

And, what do they want? Your genuine interest in them. That’ll make you their friend.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”

Vulcans are creatures of logic; humans not so much. (For those not sci-fi fans, search “Mr. Spock”).

Even when we mere humans attempt being purely logical, our emotions often win out. Emotions are not good or bad per se, but our deeds can be positive or negative when our feelings govern our attitudes and prompt behaviors. Learning to understand and control the emotions that lead to adverse outcomes requires our attention.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) enables us to recognize the emotions in ourselves and others, whether in a personal interaction or other environments and to control our attitudes and behaviors in light of those emotions. Self-awareness enables you to recognize and understand your emotions and self-regulation helps you manage and modify your behaviors in response to your feelings.

To learn more about EQ and how to develop it, see the work of Dr. Travis Bradberry.

“Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.”

In grade school, were you afraid of raising your hand to answer because you thought you would be wrong? What about middle school, high school, and college? How about in your team meetings at work or other forums? Still afraid to raise your hand and speak up?

Think about how many times fear of being wrong kept you from contributing. You knew the answer or had the idea, but you were muted because you feared judgment, ridicule, and embarrassment would result if you were wrong.

What about other fears in your life that hold you back? Be brave once. Then again. And again. Don’t let fear keep you from learning, growing, and contributing because you worry about making mistakes and failing.

Go ahead—make mistakes and fail, then learn and grow.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” Don’t let fear defeat you.

“Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.”

"Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair, and agony on me."

When I was a kid, I heard those lyrics every Saturday night when my grandparents watched “Hee-Haw” with Buck Owens and Roy Clark. Unfortunately, for many people, it’s their theme song.

If self-doubt is a ditch, then self-pity is an abyss. Self-pity is self-indulgence focused only on the negatives in life. You may be in a bad place. But, a constant attitude of defeatism and a fatalistic mentality will rob you of joy and happiness, as well as your ability to dream and achieve your goals.

If you focus solely on your present situation, then you’ll waste energy that you can apply to change your circumstances and overcome your challenges.

Don’t let self-pity be a habit that depresses and suppresses you.

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Resources

• Listen to author narrate this article here.
• Get a PDF of this article here. Use the content for discussion with your colleagues in a team meeting or in class with your students.
• Learn more about Dale Carnegie here and get training here.
• These quotes and more are found at www.brainyquote.com.
• You may also enjoy 7 Favorite Quotes from Zig Ziglar and Earl Nightingale.

Gary J. Lanham is an analyst in the Learning Group at OneMain Financial and an experienced manager, trainer, and presenter. He received his MBA from Winthrop University where he volunteers as a mentor in the Mentoring Business Minds program in the College of Business Administration. Gary helps people develop effective personal work styles by focusing on organization, prioritization, workflow, and time management. Follow Gary on LinkedIn or Twitter @GaryJLanham. Contact him at [email protected].

Learn more about Winthrop University at www.winthrop.edu. Follow on Twitter @winthropu.

Keywords: #DaleCarnegie #attitude #emotions #fear #friendship #happiness #logic #self-pit #success