7 Books That Shaped my Life

Summary: Timeless lessons from books that shaped who I am | Reading time: 5 minutes

Every advantage I had in life is the long term result of two things:

1. The courage and sacrifice of my parents
2. Reading (when I did not have to)

This article's focus is on reading.

Firstly, how do you know what you retained from a book?

I follow an Einstein-inspired heuristic for that...

Similarly, once I've forgotten everything I read in a book, what remains, is what I've learned.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People - by Stephen Covey

My failed attempts at reading this book taught me a simple lesson that simplified my approach towards most things.

Perfectionism is the enemy (of execution).

What did I learn?

There is no perfect time to properly study this (or any book) and change one'slife.

Waiting for that ideal hypothetical time = nothing will get done.

But.. maybe... there is time for one of the 7 habits?

One is infinitely better than none

The first habit is "be proactive" AKA "Bias for Action" and one part that stuck with me is the power of the language we use.

Words shape our thoughts...

Our thoughts affect our decisions...

Our decisions make us who we are...

Essentialism by Greg Mckeon

What I learned: a very quick rule of thumb to ignore noise and zoom in on what matters

If something isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no

Where I've used this:

When I am overwhelmed or facing a lot of noise:

• At work: if I only get one thing done today, what should that be?
• Fitness: if I could do only spend 10 secs on my health today, what should I do? (drink water). If I can spend a minute only, what should I do? (deep breathing). What about 5-10 mins? (stretching) ...etc
• Staying in touch: if I can call only one person, who would that be? (usually mom)
• Reading: if I had only a few mins to read a book... I'd spend that time learning about the author and reviewing the table of content

Who should read this?

If you ever felt "death by a thousand cuts" this book will help you eliminate noise.

It'll sharpen your "prioritization" muscles and allow you to say NO to more things (this allows you more time for the essential things)

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

It's very difficult putting into words the impact of this book. I will start with what this book did NOT do:

• Increase my productivity
• Increase my wealth
• Make me physically stronger/faster
• Teach me any technical skills

It did one small thing though. It taught me that nobody can make me feel.

Yes, that was a complete sentence.

If I am sad. It is me who is (making myself) sad.

I don't avoid negative emotions (it's unhealthy to be in denial - shit happens) but I try not to be a slave to my emotions.

I try not to blame people for them. I take responsibility for how I feel. It doesn't always work but it's much better than a decade ago.

Point is - we have so much control over how we feel! So much more than I thought.

This quote from the book puts it best:

Who should read this?

This book is written by a psychologist.

One that specializes in depression and suicide.

An excellent psychologist who specializes in suicide wrote a personal account of the darkest periods of human existence (World War 2) in the last place any human would like to be (a Nazi concentration camp)... how can you not read this?

I recommend every adult in the world reads it

No exaggeration

The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

I was 15 or 16 in Sahara Mall, Sharjah, UAE.

They had a spacious bookstore. One of those that invite you to sit and soak it in before buying. Naturally, it closed after a few years.

Anyway, I wanted to "buy" a book. And at the time buying a book was a major expense that needed a few weeks of saving.. so "buying" a book entails:

1. Reading the first chapter (or at least 20-30 pages) of the book before buying it.
2. Quick Google search for the e-book "book title filetype:pdf" (found few free books like this)
3. After buying I'd usually speed read (ideally within 48 hours) then go back to the store and exchange it for another. That way I read 2 for the price of 1.

Not proud to admit that last part; but I'd do it again if I have to. I've been making it up in my own way but it remains an unethical action. Luckily, I have not had to do that in a very long time (10+ years).

So, I picked up The Alchemist and started. Couldn't stop - the story was ridiculously simple and gripping. I got through 50 pages and realized the whole book was only 180 pages.

So I went to the food court upstairs, had a meal and went back finished reading the rest of the book. I've bought and re-read the book a few years after that. It's also one of the books I love to gift because it's so simple, fun to read and gripping.

What did I learn?

Paolo Coehlo's other books.. are.. mediocre. After getting my mind and spirit blown away by the Alchemist - I picked up a few more of Coehlo's books, nothing came close.

The bigger lesson to me at the time was: fiction can be more useful than non-fiction.

I've always been attracted to non-fiction because I feel it is "useful" but a non-scientific magical story like The Alchemist ignited a fire in my soul no other "useful" book did. Same with Ishmael (the only other non-fiction book on this list)

The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris

Tim is one of the idols.

I love his writing because he doesn't get lost in the abstract He always provides practical examples, links, resources..etc

• Outsourcing: why is it important & how to do it (with actual templates)
• The difference between Productivity (doing more things) and effectiveness (doing the right things)

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

• I read it 3 times and I still don't understand it fully.

What I learned:

Before Ishmael I looked for answers

After Ishmael I started understanding the importance of questions. And the importance of understanding historical context (why are things being done this way?)

Nudge by R. Thaler

I'll start with a few examples from the book

• Want to increase employee retirement savings? Set up programs so that employees have to opt-out if they want, rather than making them opt-in.
• Want to increase organ donations? Then opt drivers in to the scheme by default, but give them the option of opting out on drivers license application forms
• Want to reduce urinal splash? Manufacturers have been able to innovate cleaner urinals by simply printing a life-size image of a fly onto the porcelain. The natural urge is to aim (and drown the fly) – and the result is less splash – 80% less splash. You’ve just been nudged by a fly.

Choice architecture (or Environment design )– The organizing of choices help nudge people to better choices

Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

• How to say no gracefully “Your offer is very generous, but I’m sorry, that just doesn’t work for me”

• The Ackerman Model (negotiations framework)

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

• The most accurate book title
• This was the start of my readings into behavior theory eventually forming the foundations for this article How Your Favourite TV Show Can Get You In Shape
• If you think you’re in conscious control of most of your life... you need to read this (or any similar book - there are many)

Other 2020 Articles

On Fitness - How Your Favourite TV Show Can Get You In Shape

On Job Hunting - Practical Advice, Psychology & 46 Resources

The Busyness Paradox - Outsourcing, Utilizing Recruiters & Taking time off to build a process