6 ways you can become a better manager

A long time ago, I read about the cumulative impact of managers on those around them. The higher up you go, the more on display you are and the more you are being watched. Are your words and actions in line with each other? Or are you saying one thing and doing another?

I've deliberately used the word 'manager' rather than 'leader'. I think leadership gets the majority of attention. It's seen as exciting. Management is often seen as a bit 'bleurgh' and yet, I think managers are more important than leaders. Middle managers are often the person that employees will have the most direct contact with. Therefore, what they (you) say and do can make a massive difference to performance, engagement, motivation and commitment.

With this in mind, here are six things you can do to be an even better manager:

1. Think about how you respond to failure

You only need to look in the media to see how we tend react to organisational and management failure. Name, shame and blame are the watchwords. And to some degree, it's probably not surprising particularly when we find out that senior managers haven't learned from past failures.

One of the reasons for this could be a tendency to err towards logical analysis of failure. This kind of approach lends itself to self-preservation and managers justifying why certain action was taken, or trying to find who was at fault.

Recent research suggests that negative emotions could help people learn more effectively from failure. So, next time a project fails in your team why not give people time and space to talk about how they feel about a failure? This could help them recognise that negative reactions to failure are okay. By getting them to talk through and share negative reactions and then write down what they would do differently next time could help facilitate improvement.

2. Review your relationships with each person in your team

We all have those people we click with. Those people we enjoy spending time with. And then, we have those people who just don't float our boat. We feel a bit awkward and on edge around them. Or perhaps, don't feel anything. Just ambivalence.

While this is, to some extent, okay in your personal life, it has serious implications for managers.

If you're a manager who is perceived to have 'favourites' then this can lead to envy, distrust and ultimately, impact performance.

When you look at your team, are there some people you spend more time with? Are there some people you go out for lunch or drinks with but not others? Assess the amount of time you spend with each person and what you talk about or do in that time. You might be surprised. More importantly, you can then do something about it.

3. Proactively seek feedback

I coach lots of managers and one of the first questions I ask the is 'when was the last time you proactively asked other people for feedback on your behaviour and/or performance?' The majority say they've never done that and when we explore why that is it often stems from a fear of what we might hear.

If you want to create a high-performing team then creating an environment where feedback to each other is the norm is a must. And, my friend, it starts with you.

Research found that when CEOs proactively asked their fellow leadership team members for feedback it had a positive impact on organisational performance. This was echoed in a recent podcast by Professor Adam Grant. He interviewed various employees of Bridgewater Associates, an American investment firm, where 'radical transparency' is the norm. It's an amazing story and at the heart are leaders who role model asking for feedback and more importantly, role model how to respond to negative feedback.

4. Role model trusting behaviour

There is a link between trust and high-performance in teams.

If you want your team members to trust each and to trust you then there are two things you should do. The first is to show you trust them to do their work. Attending project or client meetings with them, or asking to see every document or presentation before it goes out the door are signs of micromanagement. The opposite of trust.

The second is to gain their trust through your actions, such as being honest, acting with integrity, showing kindness and compassion.

5. Communicate and engage with staff in a way that works for them (not you)

I work with lots of managers on a one-to-one basis, along with observing their team's climate and ways of working. One of the most common issues I come across and which I think sits at the heart of team conflict, is inadequate communication and engagement.

High-performing teams have excellent communication and engagement between team members, between the manager and the team, and with other teams. Key is quality, not quantity.

Creating an environment where non-formal, off-line discussions can freely take place is another thing that can help performance and commitment. If you're a manager that frowns on those discussions about The X-Factor or Prince Harry and Meghan, just check out this 2012 research by Alex Pentland and team at MIT. In addition, this research found that email should be your absolute last resort when communicating with your team. Yet, how many of us have pressed 'send' on an email to someone they're sitting opposite? (Yes, I have done that, to my shame).

One way you can check that you're communicating and engaging in a quality way with your team is to ask them. You can also use this checklist as a reminder to think about different needs.

6. Look after your well-being

Stressed managers are unlikely to be effective managers. Your team is likely to play off you and become stressed too. As a manager, you have people in your care. You impact their well-being and mental health as much as your own.

There are several things you can do to enhance well-being in your team. The first is ensure people are taking their lunch breaks. That includes you! The more your lunch break enables you to relax, the more likely you'll be to perform more effectively in the afternoon.

The second is to help people connect with each other. Having a variety of non-work and work events can help this, such as going bowling or having a team lunch. One team I worked with had a team-build which supported a charity at the same time, doing some good in the community. We painted a local nursery in a deprived area. They supplied the paint, we provided the labour. Team members learned lots about each other and previously unseen skills.

The third is to give yourself a break from your email and social media. As a manager you're likely to have at least one smartphone and depending on your role, you may feel the need to have your phone on 24/7.

The effects of always 'being on' on our mental and physical health are well-documented. If you're a manager who sends emails out to their team at midnight, then think about the impact you're having. They are likely to feel they need to do the same. It might be time for you to have a digital detox - just in time for the end of this LinkedIn article!

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Hayley Lewis is a chartered psychologist, consultant and university lecturer specialising in organisational behaviour and performance. She shares new insights and advice on work and psychology every month in her consultancy's newsletter: HALO Psychology