6 Ways Trust Erodes at Work (and How to Restore It)

Trust is absolutely fundamental to any organization that needs to be productive and collaborative.

But trust is fragile.?

It can erode over the slightest misunderstanding just as much as from a clearly intentional and deliberate act of betrayal.

And when trust breaks down, colleagues will not only struggle to work as effectively as they need to; they may open the door to a host of dysfunctions that threaten the business and their own peace of mind.

Among the many ways trust gets damaged at work, here are six (6) that I see often through my executive coaching practice.?

1. Not walking the talk; inconsistent words and actions

We all know that person who talks a good game about leadership but treats others in ways that go against it.

Consider, for instance, the manager who tries to motivate others by making promises, like a bonus, a promotion, or some other form of validation.?

But after the team works overtime to achieve their goals, the manager fails to follow through on the promise.

This is a classic recipe for creating mistrust in management.

To restore trust:?First, try not to solely motivate on extrinsic rewards.?These are not the things that will create self-motivated and purpose-driven teams.?Also, don’t seek to buy your team’s commitment.?Lastly, apologize and take ownership when you are unable to follow through on a promise.?People want to be treated fairly and see some culpability when wrong is wrong and right is right.?

2. Holding back information

Transparency in communication is correlated with trustworthiness.?

We know this is true whether at work or at home in our personal lives.

When you are left in the dark about something, it’s natural to wonder whether the other person is purposely trying to hurt instead of help you, and whether they are reliable enough to trust.

Now, it’s true that not all leaders can share everything with their teams as they have may have access to privileged information and in the interest of their teams must keep certain things limited to people with decision-making authority.?

But that doesn’t mean you can’t still show a willingness to share what you can.

To restore trust: if you are found to have withheld information that someone deserved to know, it’s important to be contrite and sympathetic before becoming defensive.?

For instance, if you knew that a team member was going to be unpleasantly moved out of their current work, but couldn’t tell them until they found out later, don’t get stuck in explaining mode; this just makes any pain they feel worse.?

Instead, share why you couldn’t inform them, but make a commitment to hear what their concerns are, and coach them toward making the most of the next opportunity.

3. Favoritism

Favoritism is common and yet very insidious within work culture.?

It can not only erode trust but also hinder diversity and inclusion in organizations.

Consider the employee who always gets put on the best projects and opportunities despite others requesting to be assigned them and even outperforming this employee.?

The best workers start to care less about output and the leaders who are enabling favoritism are trusted less for their guidance on team issues.

To restore trust.?Ask yourself whether you are showing bias in where you pay attention at work and with whom you choose to involve during most of your workday.?

To not have preferences is unnatural, but to operate solely on them is unproductive and can be downright unfair.?

If you are called out for playing favorites, own it and thank them for the feedback.?

When you take on a leadership role, your job is not to be everyone’s friend and certainly not one to a subset of people.?If you have a group of people on your team you can’t seem to value at the same level as others, commit to coaching them and getting to know them better.?

Ask yourself if there are reasons why you are judging them that are limiting their opportunities to excel.?

Try to challenge your own preconceived notions as well as providing them a chance to show you what they can do. ?

4. Not giving credit

Recognition in the workplace is vital for motivation and the chance to advance.?

It’s hypocritical to suggest that no one should ever lay claim to credit when they are part of a team, because to even be in a position of leadership of that team, you were in situations to get recognition on your own. ?

Never lose sight of the fact that recognition is a natural human need at work and it’s not a bad thing to want it.?It’s in fact more detrimental to shame people for seeking it.?

If they do it at the expense of others’ success, that’s one thing.?

But the nature of success in business requires a need for healthy self-promotion.

And when someone withholds credit for a job well done, or worse, steals it, trust goes out the window.

To restore trust:?If you have withheld credit from someone or failed to recognize your team members for work they did, explore why you are reticent to do so.?

For some leaders, they worry that affirming their team too much will make them lazy.?

This is a myth.?

If they are lazy or incompetent, they need to get feedback on that regardless of whether they do a good job or not.?

But to withhold recognition because you think it will make the problem worse, is irrational and unkind. ?

It will only serve to make them trust you less.

Also, put an end to any credit-stealing that may be going on in your team.?

You may not want to get involved in any drama between your coworkers, but as the saying goes: if you see something, say something.?

Show everyone that such behavior is reductive and damaging to the trust you all need to have in each other.

5. Avoiding accountability

Leaders who own up to mistakes foster a more trusting environment.?

Even if you don’t agree with the view of someone else, showing a willingness to at least own the likelihood that you did something to contribute to their perception will bring you all down to each other’s level and open the way for greater mutual trust.

When it comes to collaboration, there is nothing worse than constantly complaining and passing the buck.?

Make an effort to control your own need to project on others first.?

Then make it clear to your coworkers that externalizing issues that can be better addressed by how we each are reacting to feedback is ineffective.

To restore trust: ?When someone fails to take accountability, gently call it out.?

Say,

“I noticed just now that you are passing a lot of the responsibility and failed follow-through to other people.

“I don’t disagree with you.?But I also know that you and I can only really control ourselves.?What do you think you can do to move things forward from the place we currently find ourselves in?

"And what do you think you can do differently to avoid the likelihood of this going the wrong way next time?”

Obviously, do this for yourself as well, so that you aren’t expecting others to be accountable while avoiding it yourself.

6. Not addressing conflicts

Unresolved conflicts create a whole host of issues, from unfulfilling work, toxic work environments and employee turnover.

Conflict by itself is inevitable. ?It’s a part of the human condition.

Avoiding addressing it is where it becomes poisonous to a trusting culture.

As a leader, you may have your own personal preferences around managing conflict. ?

Some avoid it as it is unpleasant to them or a waste of time.?

Others choose to get involved in the drama because it’s intriguing, but don’t actually address it toward resolution.?

And still others make colleagues feel bad for even engaging in conflict, leading to stifled debate and innovation and a fearful, robotic culture.

To restore trust: ?Recognize when conflict is emerging and create conditions to communicate about what you are observing.?

When two people are at opposite sides of an issue, generally choosing one way to go is futile.?

Both need to sit on the same side of the table and observe the dissonance between them, together.?

And then they can facilitate exploration toward not one way or the other way, but a third way – that they came upon together.

If you are a player in the conflict, introduce this idea to the other.?If you are a leader observing others in that conflict, ask to connect the two in a safe place to mediate.

But no matter what, don’t take sides and don’t act like it’s not important.?

To the person involved in the issue, it can seem like it’s the most vital thing to hold on to; respect that and you will show that you are someone they can trust to lead them through the mess.

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In conclusion, trust is delicate but essential.

Notice the pitfalls that come up, like these six examples.?

And work proactively to own where you may have contributed to declining trust within your teams while coaching others to do the same.?

As each person does their part, they create an environment where trust thrives.

If you found this post helpful, I invite you to read a follow-up post in my other weekly newsletter, Enviable.?

It is about how to "reset work relationships that have gone awry."

Feel free to sign up here to receive that post today and weekly tips every Monday on achieving excellence at work.

Until next time,

Nihar