6 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

We often, if not always, criticize ourselves. We have no issues putting ourselves down, nor do we feel any guilt for putting others first.

Without even realizing it, we think and feel the most horrific things about ourselves. We don't even question this habit - we just repeatedly doubt our abilities, our worth and value in this world.

We sabotage ourselves constantly, as a self-protection mechanism. That is, we think if we attack ourselves first, others won't have any room to do the same - damage will already be done, and by someone more familiar than a stranger: our self.

This results in us feeling in constant war with ourselves. It feels unnatural for our body to constantly hear these aggressive and toxic thoughts we carry towards our being.

That's why, making peace with yourself should be your absolute priority. You should always work on yourself before you work on anything else. How could you be successful in your relationships, in your career, in your life, if you are not first successful with your own self?

So how do you find inner peace? How do you start loving yourself?

1. Raising Self-Awareness in Thoughts

The road to paradise on earth starts with self-awareness. You've probably heard of this Delphic maxim time and time again: Know Thyself.

Do you know who you are? Are you aware of the thoughts you let into your mind? If not, start increasing your focus. Focus on your thoughts. Don't focus on the weather, your colleague, your classmates, your friends, your family, focus on your thoughts right now. What thoughts are you letting into yourself?

Don't stop focusing. Don't give up just yet. Continue. Focus again. It is painful to increase your consciousness and focus to that level, but the reward you gain is worth the price you pay.

Now that you're starting to realize what thoughts you're nourishing your mind, body and spirit, start taking action.

How do you take action when everything is happening inside yourself? Well, you turn the game into your favor. You become the master of you. The master of your thoughts, emotions and feelings. You show your autopilot brain who's the boss.

To do that, you need to work on your focusing power. You need to train your brain to obey you. I'll warn you though, it's not gonna let you dominate it so easily. You're gonna struggle at first. The key here, is that every time you notice you have a negative, self-destructive thought about your internal self or your external environment, you immediately order your brain to switch thought. You update the operating system. You replace the negative thought with a positive one.

Let me give you an example. You could be having a shitty day at work. It's all grey outside, your boss is putting a lot of pressure on you and doesn't really care about how you're doing or what is happing in your own life - he/she just wants you to get things done. Now there's 2 ways to think and react here:

1. "Argh, this is so annoying. No one cares about me. They don't understand I can't do this now, I already have so much on my plate. I just wanna go home, watch a series on Netflix and sleep forever. Why am I even here? What is my purpose, my impact in this job? What is my purpose in life? I hate this."

2. "It's okay. I know it's hard right now, and I agree with you, it's tough and challenging today. But look on the bright side, there's so much to be grateful for. You're alive, you're breathing fresh air, eating good food and drinking clean water. You're alive and all the opportunities lie before you. You just have to smile and open up to the universe, and it will open up to you in return. Do you really think something as simple as your boss asking you to complete some task should bring you down today? No! You are way stronger than this. This is not even a drop in the ocean compared to what you can accomplish and the challenges you can tackle. Look at the bigger picture, you are so beautiful inside and out. You are worthy of every good thing there is out there. You are so loved and appreciated. I love you so much, and I am so proud of you."

The first paragraph is the first thought you could be having in your head. Once you realize you're having it, immediately switch to the second one. Note that the second one is truly a dialogue with yourself. Everyone insists on having a monologue with yourself, but having a dialogue is actually so much better. Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you truly love. Talk to yourself like you are your best friend.

If you implement that habit consistently and constantly everyday, you will be astonished by the changes you will notice within and outside yourself. You will start being more empathetic, open and outgoing with others. You will make friends more easily and you will be able to adapt to any type of person, because you'll never be judgmental or condescendent. You will start radiating light, and as Marianne Williamson said: As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.

2. Raising Self-Awareness in Body

Did you know that 96% of our communication is non verbal? This means that everything happens outside of your words. Your body has its own language, and speaks to you and others in a powerful way.

Start focusing on your body. What is your body posture saying about you right now? What message do you want your body to say to yourself and to others? Train your body to obey you. Learn to control your body language.

Everything matters here. The way you position yourself, the way you smile or not - you are communicating who you are with yourself and others. If you open your arms and raise your head up high, you are opening up to yourself, others and to the universe.

Often, you will realize you have low power postures. Immediately switch these with high power postures. You need to carry yourself in the way you would like to be seen. Always ask yourself; how would the person I would like to become look like right now?

If you want to feel confident and positive, you need to position yourself as a confident and positive person. If you avoid eye contact and always look down, no one will take you seriously, and it will soon become obvious you have issues feeling comfortable with yourself and others.

If you want others to respect you, start respecting yourself first. This starts with how your body speaks about you. Don't underestimate the power of your body language, the tone of your voice, the way you walk, the gestures you make. Everything says something about who you are, and be sure people will catch it.

Start getting comfortable with your body, and your body will cooperate with you and take you anywhere you want. You want to feel and show confidence? Force your body to emanate confidence.

3. Spending quality time with yourself

To know yourself, there is an obvious thing you need to do: spend time with yourself. When you get to know a stranger, you usually don't mind spending hours talking about who they are, what they like to do, the great things about them. Why wouldn't you do that with yourself?

It's interesting how we often put ourselves last. We think others are more worthy of our time than we even are. Isn't this astonishing?!

Always have at least 30 minutes in your day where it's only you and you. No one else. No outside noise. You should always be with yourself, wherever you are, whoever you're with. You should always keep this strong, powerful contact with your inner being. No one and nothing should come in the way of that.

I loved how Tim Groover talked about being in the "zone". You should always be in your zone. No outside noise, just you and you focused on what's most important in the moment. The closest person to you should always be you and no one else, as otherwise you'd give more power to someone outside of you on the direction of your feelings, actions and experiences.

People will tell you you're selfish, egoistic, etc. They're only telling you this cause they feel miserable themselves. You need to attain a higher level of consciousness to understand the importance of feeling and being close to you.

You will never be able to flourish and help others, if you don't help yourself first. To give love to others, you need to give love to yourself first. It is an unshakable principle in my own view.

4. Explore Yourself through Meditation

Meditation is a powerful way to cleanse your body and your mind from toxicity. It helps you stay clean and healthy inside, no matter the circumstances. I will write a short guide on how to meditate properly and in the most effective way.

You should always take at least 10 minutes in your day to meditate. You can either meditate in the morning, right after you wake up, or in the evening, just before you go to bed.

Once you start noticing the benefits of meditation on yourself, and with others, you will probably want to do it twice a day - once in the morning, once in the evening.

But how do you meditate exactly and why should you even consider it? If you are looking to get more in peace and closer to yourself, meditation is for you. It will empower you in ways you can't begin to imagine.

There are several meditation techniques, however I can only talk about the one that works the best with me, which is to focus on absolutely nothing. Focus on focusing on nothing.

You breathe heavily 3-4 times, you start closing your eyes and focusing on chasing your habitual thoughts away to then focus on nothing but your own senses. Focus on feeling your body, on hearing your soul and seeing it from the inside. Focus on the inside of yourself, it's a privileged and intimate moment between you and you!

5. Cut out Toxicity

This is absolutely essential. If your intent is to renew yourself, become a healthy, positive and strong individual, you need to cut out all toxic elements in your life.

These can be a job, a friend, junk food, bad habits, a member of your family that is sucking the life out of you. Any thing that drags you down, cut it straight.

I have to insist on an important fact though. There will be hard times in your life, as there is for all of us, where you won't be able to cut people out. There will be times where the people you love the most are down themselves, and you will have to support them through these hard times.

As a sensitive person myself, I know it can be tough not to absorb the energies and vibrations of the people you love the most. However it is absolutely possible, with a lot of work and focus. Remind yourself everyday, that you aren't doing yourself any favor by drowning yourself with these negative emotions - and you aren't doing the people you love any favor.

Always take some distance and look at the bigger picture.

6. Nurture Positivity

In the spirit of cutting out toxicity, you should nurture positivity within yourself and in your life in general. There is so much to be happy about, you will soon realize it!

To nurture positivity, I have a few tips that truly can truly help:

• Smile as soon as you wake up in the morning. You don't have to truly feel happy, but smiling will send the right signal to your brain. It will register this facial gesture as a sign that you are genuinely happy. It will then fire the best neurotransmitters out there such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphine. Continue smiling throughout the day and you will see the difference! Smile randomly. You don't need any reason. :-D
• Engage with gratitude. Write down what you are grateful for, remind yourself why you should be grateful to be alive and all the things you take for granted will soon appear the most valuable in your life. Nurturing gratitude is essential to finding inner peace and happiness.
• Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, get inspired by people who have accomplished more than you did so far. Get inspired, learn from others. Do not compare yourself to other people, this will result in a destructive monologue inside of you. You need to embrace who you are, your uniqueness, your power and your abilities. Stop comparing yourself.
• Take social media breaks. In the spirit of stopping comparison with others, social medias should be left out of your life sometimes. Instagram for example, can be great for building a business or raising awareness on important issues such as physical health, mental health, fitness or social issues like bullying. It can also be detrimental for girls who spend endless hours looking at pictures of perfect models who have been photoshopped or fixed their face and body many times through surgery. I'll write about this in more details in another article.
• Find an activity that you truly enjoy, and keep doing it. Whether it's reading books, hanging out with friends, playing games or visiting museums. Keep doing it at least once a week if it makes you feel happy and positive!
• Get your body to move. This is essential if you intend in nurturing a positive lifestyle. Workout, go to the gym or simply have a run in the morning, have a walk or swim, play basketball! Do anything that works with you. You are the one choosing and creating the rules.

I hope this article helped you in finding ways to get closer to yourself and nurturing a positive and healthy lifestyle, especially in tough times. Let me know if it was too long or if you have any feedback, as I'm always happy to hear constructive criticism! :-D

Have a blessed day.