6 Ways to Get Your Kid to Actually Talk to You—Without the Eye Rolls
Bonfire Digital Wellness
We’re on a mission to ensure every child is seen + heard + optimizes their wellbeing via virtual personalized coaching
If you’ve ever asked your teen “How was your day?” and received a response that was either (a) a grunt, (b) a mumbled “fine”, or (c) an eye roll so dramatic you feared their eyeballs might get stuck, welcome to the club. It’s a fun place. We have snacks.
Trying to have a real conversation with an adolescent can sometimes feel like trying to hug a cat that really doesn’t want to be hugged.?
But don’t worry—you’re not alone, and there’s hope. Your teen does want to talk to you (deep down, very deep down), and with the right approach, you can break through the one-word-answer barrier.
At Bonfire Digital Wellness, we help parents navigate the tricky terrain of adolescent communication. Here’s how to get your teen to talk to you without them looking like they just smelled something terrible.
1. Stop Interrogating, Start Relating
We get it—you just want to know what’s going on in their life. But firing off rapid questions like a detective in a crime drama is a surefire way to make them shut down. Instead of:
? “How was school? What did you do today? Who did you sit with at lunch? Did you eat your vegetables? Did you commit any felonies?”
Try something a little more casual, like:
? “Anything funny happen at school today?”
? “I saw this meme and thought of you—relatable, or am I just old?”
? “On a scale of ‘meh’ to ‘epic fail,’ how was today?”
Basically, make your questions feel like conversations, not pop quizzes.
2. Choose the Right Timing (Hint: Not When They’re in a Mood)
Imagine you’re finally relaxing after a long day, and suddenly someone bursts in asking a million questions. You’d probably be tempted to throw a shoe at them.
That’s how teens feel when we pick the worst possible moments to start a deep conversation. Instead, try:
The key is catching them when they feel like talking, not when you feel like talking.
3. Be a ‘Vault’—Not a Judge
Nothing shuts down a teen faster than feeling like they’re about to get a lecture. If they open up about something (even something mildly horrifying), resist the urge to freak out.
For example:
Also, if they tell you something personal, do not repeat it to their siblings, your friends, or your group chat titled “OMG My Kid is Wild”. Trust builds communication.
4. Make Casual Conversations a Habit
If the only time you try to talk is when something is wrong, your teen will start avoiding you like a pop quiz they forgot to study for. Instead, keep the lines of communication open by chatting about:
The more casual and pressure-free your conversations are, the more they’ll feel comfortable opening up about real stuff.
5. Model the Behavior You Want to See
If you want them to be open, you have to be open too. That means:
When they see you being real, they’re more likely to be real with you.
6. Let Someone Else Be Their Sounding Board
Here’s a hard truth: sometimes, your teen wants to talk—just not to you. And that’s okay.
Teens often feel more comfortable opening up to someone—a mentor, coach, or trusted adult who isn’t their parent. That’s why at Bonfire Digital Wellness, we pair students with compassionate, experienced school counselors who get it.
Our coaching helps teens:
? Feel heard and supported
? Build resilience and confidence
? Learn stress-management and social skills
And the best part? It gives you peace of mind knowing they have a positive influence in their corner.
Book a Free Discovery Call Today
If you’re tired of one-word answers and endless eye rolls, let’s change that. BonfireDW offers personalized, one-on-one coaching that helps teens feel empowered—and helps parents feel less like they’re talking to a brick wall.
You’re not alone in this—let’s make communication (and parenting) easier.