6 Things Marathon Running Has Taught Me

'If you’re going to while away the years, it’s far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive than in a fog, and I believe running helps you do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that’s the essence of running, and a metaphor for life' - Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

In 2015 I started to really get in to running. I'd recently moved to Brooklyn, NY from Houston, TX and the change in scenery (and climate!) got me excited about lacing up my trainers and exploring my new neighbourhood.

It began rather innocuously and without any grand plans - running irregularly a couple of times a week, maybe a 5K race at the weekend - but before I knew it, I was hooked. What started out as casual jogging became a little more structured and I was continually curious about how much I could improve and what I could actually achieve if I put my mind to it.

Over the course of the subsequent three years, I completed the New York Marathon, the London Marathon, the Paris Marathon, multiple half marathons and I'm currently training to do something I thought was impossible back when I first started - running a marathon in less than 3 hours - later this year in Amsterdam.

Whilst setting a new PB is really fun, I now know that it's only the tip of the iceberg - there's so much that goes on underneath the surface, so much preparation and so much hard work leading up to a marathon that the race itself feels like a celebration of all of the training, all of the early morning runs, all of the sacrifices I've made to get to the start line.

The more I run, the more I see it as a metaphor for life - marathon running (and the training that goes into it) has really opened my eyes to how I can overcome challenges and setbacks, how to look after myself mentally, the importance of purpose and understanding how to define success.

Here's what I've learned!

• Don't be scared of setting ambitious targets

When I ran my first marathon, I had a few rough goals I wanted to achieve but it was the overwhelming desire to 'just finish the damn thing' that was the real target - it didn't need to be pretty, it didn't need to be fast, I just wanted to finish. Mission accomplished!

For my most recent marathon, and with a lot more training under my belt, I decided to set myself an ambitious but very specific target. Run a marathon in less than 3 hours... a whole 22 minutes quicker than I'd ever run a marathon before.

It was definitely a little daunting but after a couple of weeks, having a clearly defined goal to aim at was really motivating. I'd previously avoided setting specific targets as, quite honestly, I was afraid of the possibility that I might fail to achieve them - I was scared of putting all that effort in, telling people what I was aiming for and then fail. Anyone who invests wholeheartedly in something for a few months (or longer), only to fall short at their one opportunity, has likely experienced a similar sting.

But marathon running has taught me to redefine my understanding of failure - it's ok to put everything into something and not hit your target. It's ok to fail. In most instances, it's better to fail in the pursuit of a bigger target than aiming low and being safe.

I ended up running the Paris Marathon in 3:02:09. Technically I failed to break 3 hours but I had trained harder than ever, learnt a great deal about myself and smashed my PB by 20 minutes - something I would never have done without setting an ambitious target.

• Having a clear why and truly believing in it

Running at the beginning was really just for fun (and to lose some of the BBQ weight from Texas!) but after entering a few races and starting to train more, I began to have a few doubts...

'Why I am actually doing this?'

'Why am I getting out of bed every morning to run?'

'Why am I training for a race where I know my legs could turn to jelly, where I've limped along the course with many miles still to go because I went out too quick or my body just didn’t want to move anymore?'

I initially thought my why was all about running faster and setting new personal bests. But I soon realised that, like making more money in life and earning promotions at work, these measurements are simply results of what we do, not why. The idea of running a quicker time was important to me but it wasn't enough to keep me going when things got hard or when I lost momentum and felt like giving up. I needed something more. I run marathons because, mile-by-mile, roared on by the crowds, surrounded by fellow runners giving their all, on the other side of the pain, is the feeling of exuberance when you reach the finish line. And then start planning to do it all over again.

Running has definitely helped me understand the importance of taking time to think about WHY we do what we do. Having a purpose has motivated me to push past obstacles and challenges when they arise and has been the backbone to staying positive and focused over a long period of time.

• Focus on competing against yourself

I've always had a weakness for comparing myself and my achievements to others. In work or in life generally, I tend to measure my success in relation to how my peers and my friends are getting on - not a particularly healthy approach to finding happiness I know!

Running has really helped me with this. Like 99% of my fellow runners, I'm not competing for first place. I'm competing with myself, my own PB and/or just to finish the race. In a race it's vital to focus on your own performance without getting pulled into mini races with other runners that just burn you out early (I've definitely made that mistake too!) You can't just look at one competitor and start racing against them - you'll get pulled into being overly-focused on their actions, and end up being reactive rather running a race that only you can execute on successfully.

I've learned that work and life is like that also. On the one hand, it's important to use others' success to inspire us and always be aware of 'market conditions', but it's often when we focus inward, instead of worrying about how others are performing, that we evolve into the best we can be.

• It's ok to ask for help

Running is very personal to me. I've always enjoyed running on my own, creating my own schedule and setting my own goals. It's me against the world!

But after a few years of dedicating more time to training and working harder, I wasn't seeing the improvements I had expected. I kept making the same mistakes over and over again and felt like I was treading water. I really wanted to do it my way and figure this out on my own and I really believed that asking for help or advice from others was kind of cheating; it was a shortcut to success that I would haven't earned.

Appreciating that I wanted to get better was a good first step but the bigger leap was accepting I needed guidance from someone. Someone I could ask for help. Ideally someone who was simply further along in their running career who could guide and streamline my learning process.

For the last 12 months, I've been working with a couple of running coaches and more experienced runners who have helped me train smarter, tweak my nutrition and avoid simple mistakes. Unsurprisingly, I've seen a huge improvement!

It takes vulnerability, and the willingness to acknowledge a problem that you aren’t sure how to solve (a scary place!) but asking for help from the right people can be transformative, especially when it’s coming from someone who’s already been in your shoes and succeeded.

• Taking a break is REALLY important

When you're determined to achieve something, it's pretty much all you think about. All the time. It consumes you. It's relentless.

With a target in mind, I was intent on training as hard as I could for an upcoming marathon. No excuses. No regrets. Nothing left on the road. Just get out and run every day and give it your all.

It started well and for a while I was feeling great but, even though I was running more and hitting my weekly goals, I was putting too much stress on my body and I started to realise that the quality of my training was getting worse even though I was running more miles. I was too tired to train effectively, I was feeling jaded and this started to affect my motivation. I wanted to work hard but I knew I needed to work smarter and not burn myself out.

Marathon training has taught me that, as counter-intuitive as it first seemed, taking a break is essential and the harder you work, the more important it becomes. The physical benefits (reducing the risk of overuse injuries and stress fractures) are more obvious but being proactive in looking after my mental health has been as equally as important.

Taking regular breaks from work or from training has really helped to keep my mind fresh, to take stock of how things are going and spending more time enjoying the present rather than constantly worrying about the future!

• Believe in yourself

It's hard to explain to people what it felt like to finish my first marathon. Turning the corner and seeing the finish, hearing and feeling the crowd carry me to the line, attempting not to be sick whilst a volunteer slipped my medal over my head.

The end of the run wasn't about the race at all though - it was about the culmination of months of training, 5am alarms, running in the wind, rain and snow, twisted ankles and blisters, running when I really didn't want to.

But the feeling of finishing was worth it all. I've never been prouder for believing in myself. While it was nice that my friends and family believed in me and knew that I could do it all along, it really was about my own belief and self-confidence. If I can I can do this, I can do anything.

Challenge yourself sometimes, do something that's out of your comfort zone, make a goal and commit yourself to reaching it. I promise you that the pride you will feel will be worth the journey.

This isn't intended to read like a self-help blog and I'm by no means a life coach, but I wanted to just put this out there in the hope that it's helpful for anyone who's a little lost and needs some motivation (like I did back in 2015)

I hope this encourages you to get out and run that first mile if you're not a runner.

And if you are a runner, I'd love to hear your stories and what lessons you've learnt.

If you are not able to run or it's not for you, what are other activities that you've learnt from and have helped shape you?