6 things not to do at an interview

Is it me or are we not capable of making any decisions anymore?  Do we have to listen to the "blindingly obvious brigade" who bombard us with useless (and the same it seems) advice on what to do at an interview? 

For those who are looking for an alternative career path here are my top 6 tips for a successful interview session.

1) Absolutely wear no clothes whatsoever.  You cannot make a wrong clothing decision if your in the nod!

2) Turn up late as you can.  Why be on time? The interviewer almost certainly works there and will probably be on shift 9-5.

3) On the strengths and weaknesses question answer that your weakness is actually work and your strength lies in your ability to avoid all physical labour / decision making.  

4) When answering the personal hobbies / outside interest question, your answer should be along the lines of computer hacker or road kill collector.

5) During the interview you should always, slouch in your seat, burp loudly, have your lunch dribbled down you and take all personal calls and or text messages.

6) When asked what you know about the company, your reply should be "absolutely nothing and nor do I care, how much do I get paid?" This is always a good icebreaker.

Good luck in your new chosen career.