6 Strategies To Heal Perfectionism

Have you ever heard about a personality disorder called " Perfectionism " ??Have you ever experienced it or worked with or under perfectionists ? No matter whether you are familiar with this term or not but this piece of article will provide you some real insights about it and strategies to cope up with lethal consequences of it .

HOW CAN YOU DEFINE?PERFECTIONISTS?

• Those who even have ambitious nature , might have lists of achievements but continuously feel that they are not good enough Or they are just a failure .
• They seek to fulfill unrealistic expectations e.g. I must be happy all the time . I must be persuading everyone and everywhere . I should win every battle . I should perform in every field . I must be confident in every situation .
• They have a very strong fear of failure and they take enormous pressure of performance and in order to protect their image they prefer to avoid hard tasks and have deep rooted habit of procrastination and when timeline comes closer then they become anxious , aggressive .
• Perfectionists have very strong critical self talk and have number of cognitive distortions most dominantly I have observed while dealing with them is Mental filtering which means they filter out positive things and focus on what's not good happening with them and keep on consolidating their negative beliefs that either they are failure or they are not good enough .

You definitely?have realized, like me , if a person has perception , cognitive , emotional and behavioral patterns like perfectionists , how can someone be happy despite having many reasons to be happy ?

HOW DOES PERFECTIONISM?DEVELOP?

• According to my experience of healing many perfectionists around the world that they have very critical parenting or bad treatment in academic?institutes where it has been continuously realized to them that they are not good enough and will not ever be .
• I have seen that the roots of perfectionism also arise from emergence of some tragic real failures or perceived failures which might not been as big as mind have perceived wrongly which ultimately reduces their self esteem even they might look confident outwardly but inwardly they continuously become the victim of low self esteem and to hide it , they prefer the patterns of perfectionism .

WHAT ARE THE LETHAL CONSEQUENCES OF PERFECTIONISM ?

• Though being very ambitious , energetic but seeking perfection make them rigid and less creative because they keep on avoiding mistakes and risks where they can have chances of exposing their real true selves which they actually hide from others .
• They continuously remain stressful , anxious and can lead towards depression and are more prone towards Bi polar disorder . Why is it so ? Because I observed while healing them they have 3 common patterns

1. Do Work with full perfection
2. Reject some work because of feeling overwhelming draining effects physically and mentally
3. Avoid Doing it because of fear of failure / procrastination

All three patterns ended up mental uneasiness because meeting unrealistic perfection of standards is not possible and avoiding and rejecting work keep them guilty , shameful and regretful towards themselves which keeps on building their stress , anxiety and disappointment and depression .

• If Perfectionism is not healed?, it can lead to physical severe illnesses like Heart diseases , obesity , diabetes , eating disorders , stroke , hypertension , depression.

WHAT ARE STRATEGIES TO HEAL PERFECTIONISM??

1) Re View Your Goals / Expectations

Goal can be like , I shall be confident in most of the situations rather than I shall be confident all the time . You need to reflect deeply what unrealistic expectations you are holding on your shoulders which is adding unnecessary?baggage?on your shoulders and not letting you cherish your life

2 ) Give yourself Permission be Human

• You as a human , despite your best efforts , will not ever be able to get rid of failures in your life . These are pivotal parts of it and in the majority of time you might fail and in some occasions you will win . Give yourself permission to have failures.
• Secondly , being a human , everyone has imperfections , limitations, accept them wholeheartedly .
• You need to know that every battle is not for every human , you might be good in some, but can not be outclassed in every battle . Give yourself permission that you can do certain good things, not everything, accept what you can't and prefer to delegate it or avail services of someone's who match with your limitations .
• Accept that your state as a human being continuously fluctuates , you can be happy , motivated most of the time but not all the time , cherish when you are and wholeheartedly accept when you are not .

3 ) Review your Belief System

I am amazed while healing perfectionists that all of their beliefs like I am not good enough based on cognitive distortions and no reality was holding it . You need to review?who contributed in making your limiting beliefs ? How credible were they ? What other things could their talk mean ? What counterexamples do you see in your life which unjustified your beliefs ?

4 ) Practice Gratitude

As perfectionists , you can have a tendency to ignore or reduce positivity and focus on what you don't have . To counter these patterns , continuous practice of gratitude can add real value in reshaping your neural circuits .

5 ) Learn To cope Up challenging time & Build Resilience

You need to explore strategies to cope up with challenging times when you will be under influence of some criticism , failures , which will definitely be triggering your critical self-talk . You can take support from some professional coach for your healing and can devise some real alternative healing strategies for building resilience and coping with challenging times .

6 ) Soften your Self talk

• Give yourself honor to forgive , and talk with yourself as you talk with your loved ones, or your loving kids , friends etc .
• You can self affirm with positive Motivating , encouraging Mantra and can persistently feed your brain with high energy , involving emotions .
• Set rewards for yourself , celebrate your little achievements per day .

Perfectionism is painful but it is treatable , apply the proven strategies and re design your better tomorrow?.