6 Steps to Overcome Envy of Other People's Careers

Have you ever been envious of someone else's career? You may have thought, "Wow, I’d be so happy if that were my life," or "Ralph seems to have it all together—I want his job and lifestyle."

In my experience as a career coach, I frequently hear clients express these sentiments. Career envy can stem from a variety of sources—comparing ourselves to friends, family members, colleagues, or even acquaintances. While a bit of comparison can sometimes motivate us, too much can lead to frustration and self-doubt. The good news is, with the right approach, we can turn this envy into motivation for positive change. Here are six steps to help you shift your mindset and take action toward a career that fulfills you.

1. Identify WHY You Are Feeling Envious

The first step is to get to the root of your envy. What is it about their career that appeals to you? Is it the sense of adventure? Higher pay? Prestige? Perhaps it’s the flexibility of working from home or the autonomy that comes with being self-employed. Sometimes, envy highlights what we feel is lacking in our own lives.

Example: Imagine you envy a friend with a high-paying job in a creative industry. Ask yourself, “Do I want their job, or am I craving creativity or better compensation in my current role?” This reflection can reveal what changes you might need to make.

Tips for Success

List Envy Triggers: Write down specific aspects of their career that spark envy.

Reflect on Your Emotions: Ask yourself if this envy could be a sign that your current job isn’t fulfilling you somehow.

2. Determine What You WANT in a Career

Understanding what you want in a career is critical to setting goals that resonate with you. Be specific about what you’re looking for—the nature of the work, a specific location, or the pay range. Clarifying what you truly desire in a career will make it easier to identify the steps needed to achieve it.

Example: Say you’re attracted to the idea of a career that allows travel. Rather than focusing on a friend’s travel-filled job, consider roles that incorporate travel in a way that fits your lifestyle, like project-based work or remote consulting.

Tips for Success

Visualize Your Ideal Workday: Think about what your day-to-day would look like in your dream job.

Make a List of Must-Haves: Identify factors that would make you truly content and fulfilled in a role.

3. Consider What You NEED to Be Happy and Fulfilled

After identifying what you want, think about what you need to feel genuinely happy and fulfilled at work. Your happiness may come from different aspects of the work experience, such as a supportive team, opportunities for growth, or a higher salary. Understanding these needs helps you align your career path with your core values.

Example: If you enjoy collaborative projects and a strong sense of community at work, a solo or fully remote job may not be ideal for you—even if the pay and perks are tempting.

Tips for Success

Make a Priority List: Rank your job needs by importance.

Be Honest with Yourself. Reflect on which of your needs are currently unmet and consider what actions might address them.

4. Outline What MAKES You Happy in Life Overall

Sometimes, career envy stems from not fully connecting with our passions. Consider whether you can incorporate your interests into your career. Pursuing work that resonates with your passions can make you feel more fulfilled, which may reduce feelings of envy toward others.

Example: Suppose you’re passionate about photography. You could look for ways to incorporate this hobby into your career, such as offering photography services part-time or seeking marketing roles with companies in the arts sector.

Tips for Success

Explore Side Gigs: Find opportunities to incorporate your interests into part-time or freelance work.

Assess for Passion Burnout: Ensure your passion can sustain you long-term if it becomes a career.

5. Define What Career Success Means to YOU

Success can look vastly different from person to person. Reflect on what success means to you, whether it’s a leadership role, a specific salary, or simply enjoying your work. Having your definition of success will help you avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on what matters most to you.

Example: If success means financial independence, focus on strategies that support this goal. If success means enjoying work-life balance, aim for a role that values flexibility over long hours.

Tips for Success

Ask Yourself Meaningful Questions: “Would I be happy if I had their job?” and “What aspects of my life am I willing to adjust for my version of success?”

Create a Personal Success Plan: Outline concrete goals that align with your version of success.

6. Take REAL Action Toward Your Goals

If you’re feeling envious, it may be a sign that you’re ready for a change. Start by researching new career paths, internships, or skills you could develop. Take practical steps toward reaching your career goals, and remember that any progress moves you closer to your dreams, no matter how small.

Example: If you’re interested in making a career switch, consider upskilling by taking online courses, networking with people in your desired field, or looking for volunteer opportunities that give you relevant experience.

Tips for Success

Set Small, Manageable Goals: Start by taking one course, scheduling one informational interview, or updating your resume.

Plan, Don’t Rush: Avoid the impulse to quit your job immediately. Instead, take time to lay a solid foundation for your career change.

Final Thoughts: Embracing Your Journey

Envy can be a powerful mirror, often reflecting our insecurities or unmet needs. It’s natural to compare ourselves to others, but envy can lead to resentment, missed opportunities, and dissatisfaction if left unchecked. Instead, envy is viewed as a signal for self-reflection. Remember, you are unique with your strengths and talents.

Ask yourself:

• How do I make a positive impact on others?
• How are people better because of my presence in their lives?
• What unique qualities do I bring to the table?

By understanding and embracing your journey, you can shift from envy to empowerment. This shift will not only improve your outlook on others’ success but also help you work toward a fulfilling career on your terms.

Now it’s Your Turn!

What steps have you taken to reduce career envy and focus on growth? I’d love to hear from you! If you enjoyed this article, please click "like" at the top and share it with others who might benefit. Most importantly, have an extraordinary day as you continue your unique career journey!

About the Author

Candace Alstad-Davies founded A+ Resumes for Teachers, where she has been helping educators and professionals worldwide secure their dream positions for over 24 years. As an intuitive career strategist and job search and interview coach, she specializes in crafting impactful resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, personal statements, and education philosophy statements. With her in-depth understanding of employment trends, job search strategies, and interview preparation, Candace empowers her clients to stand out in competitive markets. She is also the author of 10 eBooks, including bestsellers like A+ Teachers’ Interview Edge and A+ Principals’ Interview Edge. Visit her bookstore for resources designed to give you a professional edge.