6 steps that will help us defeat regret and be more successful.

Regret is a painful emotion that can be all consuming and interfere with our ability to move forward.

Regret comes in several forms.?Regret over things “we did” and regret over things “we didn’t do”.

Ironically, it's regret over the things “we didn’t do” that causes the most regret later in life.

A meta-analysis study revealed that education, career, romance, parenting, self-improvement, and leisure were the top six areas of regret people experienced most.

These regrets created a "perception" of missed opportunity that they believed would have dramatically improved their quality of life.

Regret feels terrible because it creates condemnation over perceived lack of action.??

Regret seems to multiply when a clear corrective action wasn’t taken.?

So how can we extricate regret and move in the direction of personal improvement?

“I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done”. Lucille Ball

6 steps that will help us defeat regret and be more successful:

Don’t run.

Many people push pain aside or spend considerable amounts of time ruminating about the past.?Both are illustrations of not “dealing” with unpleasant circumstances that cause regret.?Suppressing emotions and ignoring our pain creates a plethora of problems that culminate in regret.?Not running away from our past includes acknowledging our pain and choosing to be actionable about improving our future.??

Don’t ruminate.

When feelings of regret surface, we need to stop the spiral.?It’s easy to allow our emotions to escalate out of control as we marinate in past mistakes. Identifying this trend is step number one toward stopping it.?Next, we need to appreciate the consequences of frolicking in unpleasant places.?Does obsessing over these feelings ever lead to anything positive??Apprehending these negative thoughts and replacing them with positive alternatives is paramount.?Run, workout, walk, call a friend and seek clarity.??

Don’t miss the lesson.

Regret inhibits our ability to solve problems because we feel trapped.?Instead of dwelling on the obstacle, focus on the value of the lessons we learn.?Reframe the experience so we can extract the most benefit, regardless of how painful it may be.?Perspective is everything.?By simply focusing on what we learned from a painful experience, we shift our focus in a positive direction consistent with success.

“Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so”. Ray Stannard Baker

Don’t beat yourself up.

Researchers at the University of California Berkeley polled 400 students about regret.?They found most beat themselves up over past mistakes and fail to show self-compassion.?By showing ourselves compassion, understanding, and empathy we embrace grace as the pathway for moving forward.?Treat yourself like a trusted friend.?Would you beat your friend up over their mistakes, or offer love and kindness?

Don’t think it’s ever too late.

Profound regret over things we didn’t do can be debilitating.?Getting over dumb things we did is one thing, believing we missed an opportunity of a lifetime can have lasting implications.?It’s never too late to define our values and get serious about cultivating purpose in life.?Time only runs out for people that have chosen to give up.?By doing the hard work of sorting through regret, we can focus on constant improvement with the time we have left.

Don’t hesitate.

Dealing with painful memories and past regrets isn’t easy.?However, failing to do anything contributes to feelings of regret that only become exacerbated.?By making the decision to “do the work”, we invest in putting the pieces back together again.?Piece by piece we gain perspective on past pain and use it to motivate change. I prefer to focus on serving others.?By sharing and giving we take the emphasis off ourselves and concentrate on positive solutions that restore a sense of meaning in our life.?Don’t hesitate to recreate a better future.

“It's better to look ahead and prepare, than to look back and regret”. Jackie Joyner-Kersee

Sum it up.

Ever experienced the sting of regret??Share your thoughts in the comments section and please like and share this article. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.??Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming.?Steve is an author and host of the podcast program Anatomy of Success.?Reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn.?Learn more about my work and grab the free Weatherology mobile app by clicking any picture in this article!