The 6-Second Communication Secret Everyone Misses

Welcome back to my LinkedIn newsletter where I share tips, ideas, and strategies to help you become more effective in business and life.

To make sure you don't miss an issue, if you haven't subscribed yet, just click the "Subscribe" button in the upper right corner above.

Also download my free guide to 7 Myths to Working Effectively Across Cultures.

I've spent years working with executives and entrepreneurs, and I've noticed something striking: those who rise to the top aren't necessarily the loudest voices in the room.

Instead, they're often the ones who have mastered this "secret weapon" of communication - the ability to reflect back what they hear in their own authentic words.

The Power of the Perfect Paraphrase

Great paraphrasing shows you've truly processed what someone is saying, not just repeated their words. It's about taking in their message and expressing it back in a way that captures its true meaning.

This technique is powerful because it:

• Forces genuine engagement instead of waiting for your turn to speak
• Creates a feedback loop that builds trust and deepens understanding

Let me show you what I mean.

Imagine your colleague says: "I'm really frustrated with this project because everything keeps changing, and I can't seem to get clear direction from anyone."

A poor paraphrase would be: "So you're frustrated with the project because you can't get clear direction and things keep changing." This just parrots back their words without adding understanding.

A better paraphrase would be: "Sounds like you're feeling stuck because the goalposts keep moving on you." This captures the core feeling and situation in fresh language that shows real understanding.

Three Keys to Effective Paraphrasing

1. Make it Your Own. Transform what you hear into your authentic voice. Show you've processed their meaning by expressing it in your own way, demonstrating real understanding.
2. Keep it Concise. Your paraphrasing should be like a well-crafted headline - capturing the essence without getting lost in details.
3. Stay Curious. Approach conversations with genuine curiosity, using phrases that show you're working to understand rather than jumping to conclusions.

What's your experience with paraphrasing? Share your thoughts below.