6 Practicals Steps to Tame the "Busy" & Feel Better. A 6 Day Series: Day 1 of 6. Take Back Control.

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Welcome to my 6 day series on How to Tame the Busy-ness, Boost energy levels, Gain Peace of Mind, and Reduce Mind Clutter.

Over the course of 6 days, I will be sharing a bit about my steps to create more meaningful balance in your life.

Day One is: Take Back Control of Your Schedule.

If you are anything like me and most of the action-taking, impact-making, busy leaders I support, then you probably are used to getting things done. You probably can relate to getting really annoyed when things feel out of your control or unnecessarily undone. You have likely also noticed that the tighter you grasp for control, the more out of control you tend to feel.

The irony here is that in order to gain control of your schedule, you actually have to intentionally choose to relinquish it.

Take Casey, for example. She prided herself on her exceptional reliability and productivity levels. She ALWAYS got things done. Not only did she get them done, but she got them done well and on time, if not ahead of schedule.

She’d see something that needed fixing, or see someone that needed helping, or something that wasn’t right, and she felt responsible for making it better. She’d try and try to do as much as she could. She’d over work and over-commit.

Things looked good on the outside. She was reliable and good at her job. She was a leader and she got things done.

Casey was feeling out of control though. No matter what she did to empty the plate, it kept getting more and more full.

At some point, there was a colleague who gave her an attitude, criticized her, and generally seemed not to really like her- for whatever reason. Casey was hurt at first but then felt angry- no one worked as hard as her, how could that person treat her this way?

Her husband started getting agitated with her, because she seemed to either be working or stressed, and not really having much quality time for him. At first she felt guilty and tried to do more to make him feel better, but it seemed pointless because things were not getting any better. He was just getting more annoyed and so was she. She was busy and exhausted- what did he not understand?

Resentment started to build.

By the end of the day, and sometimes even at the beginning of the day, her kids seemed to be jumping off the walls. One with an attitude and another struggling with worry. She wanted to be there for them more, and tried her hardest, but it didn't seem like anything she did was enough.

As much as Casey looked like she had it all together from the outside, she felt like she had lost control of her life (and herself) on most days.

What she didn’t realize was that she was putting so much energy on trying to control everything else and everyone else’s happiness, that she lost touch with what she actually did have control over- such as how she chose to spend her time, and what boundaries she set for herself.

Casey had to learn how to effectively control her schedule, so that it actually met her work, parenting, marriage, and individual needs. Once we were able to to that together, she finally felt like she could breathe again.

In order to tackle her schedule, we had to get up close and personal with some of the beliefs that she held- beliefs which had created and maintained that schedule in the first place.

Like the belief that if she wasn't busy, she wasn't valuable, and the belief that she had to prove her worth in order to actually feel worthy inside.

These beliefs kept her focused on staying busy and trying to control things that were actually outside of her control- like what other people think, feel and do. 

Once we got clear on the belief blocks, she was able to use the tools and techniques I teach, to craft the schedule that works for her and her family, and actually stick with it. When belief blocks stay unmanaged, it feels harder and less effective to implement tools and techniques, even those that are proven to work.

Figuring out how to identify and manage these underlying beliefs helped her to relinquish control of some things she realized she did not need to waste so much energy and time on. Once she relinquished control of the things outside of her control, she had more energy to focus on what she could actually control. This helped her feel less stressed, and cleared space in her schedule and in her mind. She was able to remain reliable and productive, without losing herself in the process.

If you can relate with Casey's story, here are some questions you can ask yourself to begin your own process:

What’s one small step you might be willing to take, so you can gain back control of your schedule (and life)?

Are there areas where you find yourself grasping for control, that you could actually release the grasp?

If there’s resistance to releasing control, what kinds of beliefs, or fears, are keeping you holding onto that?

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Helpful Related Resources from the Author:

If you want my help with belief busting, I have two one-of-a-kind belief busting resources for you. One is an exclusive bundle for busy moms, filled with several belief busting goodies, which is currently on sale- you can check that in the link below. The other is a 10 step belief busting audio lesson with an accompanying workbook, for the busy leaders and professionals ready to get started here, and that’s also available at a super low-cost as well. Click the links below for more information if you’re interested, or forward to a friend who you know would benefit. 

The Bust & Build Beliefs Bundle For the busy working mom.

The Busy & Build Beliefs Audio & E-Workbook for Busy Leaders & Professionals.

* Case examples are composites; no personal information is shared without consent.

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Dr. Toni Warner, LCSW, MSW, MeD, is a mother of three, a transformational life & wellness coach for the busy ambitious who're ready to crush overwhelm, tame the anxiety, effectively manage stress and delete burnout. She helps her clients to create meaningful balance in their lives without sacrificing productivity at work or quality time with loved ones. 

Dr. Toni is the founder of Dr. Toni Coaches, LLC, a coaching, educating and consulting business. It’s mission is to inspire and enact meaningful change in the world by helping heart-centered impact makers create work, life & relationship balance, allowing them to more deeply and meaningfully live, love, connect and share their gifts, enhancing their lives and the lives of others. 

Dr. Toni is also the founder of Authentically Me Psychotherapy, LLC, where she supports high achieving and creative individuals who are struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, burn out and disconnection, to get in touch with their core selves so they can live more fully and authentically aligned lives.

Dr. Toni has been in the helping professions field for over a decade.

For therapy in PA: www.authenticallymepsychotherapy.com

For transformational life coaching: https://bit.ly/drtonicoaches

***DISCLAIMER: All information provided is for information purposes only and does not serve as nor substitute for any professional advice or treatment. Please note that coaching and therapy are not one in the same; they are separate services and the above mentioned are separate business entities. If you are unsure which service best fits your needs, simply reach out and ask: [email protected] or [email protected]