6 Pivotal Lessons To Take Into 2020

Happy 2020!

I’m happy to so say 2019 changed me so much. I look back at the beginning of the year holding certain beliefs and assumptions which have now changed either slightly or a complete 180 degrees switch occurred. That’s what growth is and not having an ego for a certain opinion you have because you attract a group of people that give you approval.

I’m just trying to grow and I look back at this year with five pivotal lessons that shaped me into who I am today in 2020.

1. Everything takes more time than you think, yet you have no idea how far you can go in a year. 

Personally, if I set a goal to achieve something...there’s usually anywhere from a 6 to 12 month lag from when I think I’ll achieve it to actually getting it done. However, there were many significant life changing events in my my life this year that were never on my mind or written down but regardless achieved.

At the end of the day it comes down to how patient you really are...because patience is an angle of perception that will tell you if you are already successful or not. Luckily for me, I have a certain prebuilt level of delusion that I will always make it no matter what. Work hard on the daily, be impatient in moments you feel you are being too patient or lazy but be patient when you are sweating and bleeding so you don’t beat yourself up.

I remember in 2016 when I started my journey..I literally had it written up as a goal I’m going to be a multi-millionaire by the end of the year...that did not happen. Yet, today I’m sitting here in 2020 and I can’t believe what I’ve accomplished and I know the 2016 version of me wouldn’t believe it either.

Focus on building daily habits / systems + vision + patience and watch what happens...

Solution: Schedule more deep time in schedule. Have a weekly meeting with yourself / team to discuss the mindset of the length of time required to accomplish certain goals. Believe in yourself more than you ever have before and study similarly successful people.

2. Distractions Will Destroy You In a World of Donald Trump, Russia and the latest Scandal

The world is becoming a better place based on many variables that are backed by data. Contrary to what you listen or see on CNN (Crisis News Network) the world is not becoming an apocalyptic wasteland. Sure there are many issues going on in the world, but please tell what problem gets solved when you stop what you are doing and watch TV or go on social media and look at the latest political dance between two groups?

Just to paint the picture, occasionally I’ll have a conversation with someone I don’t normally speak with that doesn’t have an upgraded mindset and is still running on unconscious version 1.0....I’ll ask them something they told me about previously that they were going to do. They respond back and say something as terribly obvious as — “I was going to but did you hear what Trump did on the news?”

The picture is now very clear. Those who are able to get focused on bigger more important matters in their own life they can control...will win. Those who are distracted in the digital vortex of politics, news, TV show character lives, etc are going to have more issues getting focused than ever before and will lose out on the insane opportunities in 2020 and the future.

Solution: Don’t watch the News or schedule it in your calendar for a very specific time in your calendar. Read Nir Eyal’s Indistractable Book to learn the root cause of distraction.

3. It’s Not 0 or a 100

I have said many many many times on podcasts, LinkedIn posts, etc that I am a person who is 0% or 100% in anything that I choose to do or not do. I don’t agree with that statement anymore. Why? It breeds a certain kind of perfectionism that deters action most of the time.

If I am in a season of hustling in my life and have been neglecting the “self-care” or mental health based priorities & actions that we know we should all be doing. I could easily tell myself, I’m not going to do this one thing for example like go take a walk in the sunshine...because I want to be 100% focused on my hustle. Essentially, what happens is this statement of being 0 or a 100 doesn’t provide any flexibility to create a healthy balance in someone’s life.

Solution: Understand it’s 0, 1, 2, 30, 31, 50, 65, 76, 89, 91, 99, 100. Experiment and let yourself just doing things and taking actions with a standard you are holding yourself to and keep in mind the important of balancing structure and free flow creativity.

4. Ego Will Build It’s Home Everywhere

Many of us don’t understand the “ego” at all. Some of us may think being filled with ego is when someone is overly confident and braggy. No, not at all. In fact I often give this example for people to truly understand what the ego is but growing up, I had no confidence, no self esteem, and yet I had a massive ego.

Over the years on my journey I really focus on being humble and not having an ego. This year I saw that very need to not have an ego, is where my ego began to build it’s home.

The ego is the survival part of the human psyche that gives you the ability to do things. In fact I had the honor of interviewing one of heroes, Aubrey Marcus - CEO of Onnit, he describes it below:

“People in self help and new age circles spend a lot of time searching for themselves. But has anyone stopped to think how preposterous this is? How does one search for oneself? Where did we go? And more importantly, what are we looking for?

The ego of course has an answer: You are your identity--Your job, your history, your relationships, your status, your appearance, your reputation. The ego will defend this identity as fiercely as an animal defends it’s own flesh. But at a certain point we realize that our identity is not us. The ego is delusional as usual. Which is why we go searching for the real ‘us’.

However all we are going to do when we go searching for the real us, is swap out the old identity with a new one. We replace the identity of the person looking for social approval, with the person who is trying not to care about social approval. But as long as we are locked in the framework of identity, we are a dog chasing it’s tail.

Who cares who we are. Only the ego desires to play those identity games. The identity can survive only in the past, and future. Our self is only truly alive in the present moment.

We are life. We are love. We are a force embodied in a human avatar. We are the wind that moves the tall grass. We are a player in a game called polarity and our current level is Earth. So let’s play! Once we surrender to that fact, we can all take a deep breath.”

Solution: Don’t rely on echo chambers to feed your ego. Challenge yourself regularly so that you question what you are really doing and who you are and what you can do.

5. Crucial Importance of Integrating Feeling & Thinking

Life’s a crazy journey. I remember when I was first starting off my self development journey and was forcing myself through sheer will power to do x, y, and z things. Ignoring my emotions and just trying to power through a task with my thinking, logical, rational brain.

To get to where I am today...I had to ignore my emotions. Or rather retrain the way my brain perceives and feels emotions...some of it was good and some of it was not so good. When you ignore your feelings time and time again, sometimes you have an issue even experiencing the good feelings and emotions in life.

There’s no better person to turn to on this issue than legendary writer, Mark Manson:

“Let’s pretend your mind is a car. Let’s call it the “Consciousness Car.” Your Consciousness Car is driving along the road of life, and there are many different routes and an infinite number of destinations. These roads and intersections represent the decisions you must make as you drive, and they will determine where you end up.

There are two travelers in your Consciousness Car: a Thinking Brain and a Feeling Brain. The Thinking Brain represents your conscious thoughts, your ability to make calculations, and your ability to reason through various options and express ideas through language. Your Feeling Brain represents your emotions, impulses, intuition, and instincts. While your Thinking Brain is calculating payment schedules on your credit card statement, your Feeling Brain wants to sell everything and run away to Tahiti.

The Thinking Brain is conscientious, accurate, and impartial. It is systematic and rational, but it’s also slow. Like a muscle, it must be built up over time and can become fatigued if overexerted. The Feeling Brain, however, arrives at its conclusions quickly and effortlessly. The problem is that it’s often inaccurate and irrational.

When we think of ourselves and our decision making process, we generally assume that the Thinking Brain is driving our Consciousness Car. The Feeling Brain is sitting in the passenger seat shouting out where it wants to go.

This is the Classic Assumption, the belief that our reason is ultimately in control of our life, and that we must train our emotions to shut up while the adult is driving.”

Solution: Realize that emotions aren’t always bad for you. Build a healthy relationship between authentically feeling what you have to feel mediated by a timer on your phone and releasing your energy in a productive / healthy way.

6. Mental Health = Professional Success

I can’t even tell you how many people walk up to me at events, message me on Instagram, or sit down with me at dinner and ask me how they can go from their professional 9-5 job to doing something they love for a living.

It’s a pretty complicated answer depending on that person’s specific goals and scenario but the fundamentals are largely the same. Most people in this position are trying to do brute force black & white tasks to give them an upper hand at switching their career. Truth is if you want to go from an employee to an entrepreneur it is a completely different animal in many regards.

You will not just have to switch up what you do, but you will have to switch up who you fundamentally are at your core. You will have to find ways to create time, and be less psychologically stressed out in order to do things that most people will never do.

The backend pathway to achieve this is by tripling down 100% on your mental health. I’m talking about finding ways to sustainably and holistically heal your trauma, challenge and grow your soul, taking care of your physical material body to empower your mind, and 110 other things I could list out on this never ending journey.

My Upcoming Book - Screw Being Shy 

In my book, Screw Being Shy I will guide you with the proper conceptual frameworks and practical application based on science of what you can do to create your own path out of social anxiety and not being a prisoner of your mind and not wait on other people in life to open the door for you. 

Releases March 14, 2020 to be notified enter your email in on my website: markmetry.com

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