6 Networking Mistakes that most business owners make

6 Networking mistakes most people make

By Douglas Vermeeren., The Modern Day Napoleon Hill

I have a reputation of being able to reach high level individuals and build relationships with them. I have connected with billionaires, multi-millionaire business leaders, top athletes and celebrities and well-known thought leaders. One of the most frequent questions that people ask me is how I was able to connect with these elite personalities. And not just connect with them but form relationships with them to the extent that they have supported me in my own projects.

The answer of how the majority (in not all) of these relationships began was through networking. While not all of these connections were the result of attending a “networking” event per se, all of the introductions were as a result of my some one in my network. As we say in my training, “All relationships come from other relationships.”

Now a quick explanation before I get started. I talk about high level connections and individuals and sometimes I talk about average or basic connections. These descriptions are not meant to say that some people are not worth networking with. The truth is that everyone is a valuable relationship. But I do want to point out that not everyone creates the same value in your network. And as each relationship takes time and effort to maintain its important that you know where to put your limited resources. While we won’t get into this in this brief article it’s important you determine what is valuable to your and what you re looking for in a relationship before you get started.

As most of the reader of this article will be attending networking events I have decided to share with you 6 mistakes the most people make at these events that prevent them from connecting with higher level contacts. Parts of these mistakes as you will soon see isn’t just about what you do to undermine your credibility in the eyes of those you are seeking to connect with, but also the location of where you are hoping to find these individuals. Let’s start there:

Don’t go to just any event

Just like with what you’ve heard with real estate. Networking also is about location. One of my multi-millionaire mentors put it this way, “You’ll never do a million dollar deal at a $10 breakfast.” The less expensive and less sophisticated networking events will always draw out people to match their event. If you want to network with a higher level of individual you will need to level up the events you attend. Don’t be afraid to invest more to surround yourself with better.

One of the best places I have discovered for networking isn’t networking events at all. (As a side note, in many cases events that are called “networking” aren’t really that great for networking. Not all but many.” ) I have found that by attending charity fundraising events, awards ceremonies and high level corporate parties often have a higher level of people. Don’t be fooled into thinking you can’t network at these events because they aren’t called “networking events.’ You should network everywhere you go and look for every opportunity to be at events with a higher level of individual. In our training materials I share a lengthy list of some of the best places to network with spectacular results. In that list I include several effective places that you will find high level contacts that most likely you’ve never thought of before. 

Don’t wear obnoxious or silly clothing

You’ve no doubt been to events where you have seen people use their clothing as a tactic to stand out or gain attention. Either they have some crazy bright t-shirt, hat or suit. These gimmicks may work at lower level networking events, but they are suicide when you go to higher levels. 

The problems come because no top achiever likes to be seen with a clown. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh. But put yourself in the shoes of someone who has worked hard to build an image and personal brand. They have built a business now worth millions and they have a reputation and standard they have set. They can’t afford to jeopardize that by standing next to a gimmick. 

They also recognize that gimmicks are another way of saying I need attention, I have little value and I am looking for a short cut. Top achievers don’t operate in that same energy.

How you dress can strengthen or destroy your credibility. 

I was once at a networking event (I will not mention the city because I am sure most who’ve attended an event may have seen this man and know him.) He was promoting himself as an accident injury lawyer yet he was dressed in a bright suit with sparkles, complete with a fedora. While it got a lot of attention most people thought he was a perform and not a lawyer. And I doubt very much that most people thought of him as one who could successful argue on your behalf.

Dress appropriately for the events that you will attend. Remember class and quality never go out of style. And if you must be flashy keep it in check.

Don’t show up late

If you want to play at a high level you must behave like a high level person. Being late is disrespectful. All top achievers understand the value of time. And while your late arrival may not directly effect the flow of an event that you are invited to people will notice. Now certainly this rule doesn’t apply to events that are designed to be a more casual drop-in style event. But if there is a definite start time where people need to be in their seats before it begins you had better be in your seat. We’ve all been to events where someone arrived late and attracted too much attention as they got settled. This is not acceptable at higher levels of networking. You are teaching people much about you if this is the case. You would never see someone arriving late like this at the Academy awards. In fact, if you showed up late at that event most likely they wouldn’t even let you in. 

If the goal in a networking relationship is to get people to like and trust you. Being late compromised both of those goals.

Don’t be overtake conversations

I see what I call “talkaholics” most often at the lower level networking events. At the high levels it is much more rare. At the high levels of networking people are more interested to be learners than teachers. This is a secret of the rich that no one talks about. The rich are curious and always looking to learn. As  a result of this desire they do far more listening and asking questions than their more chatty opposites. 

The truth is that most people are too busy talking that they can’t learn what they need to do to create success. Over talking is also a form of insecurity. People do it because they are uncomfortable.  It is a form of camouflage they are trying to hide behind. Generally speaking when I am at a networking event it becomes easy to spot those who do not have success because they are the most talkative and overbearing people. The most successful people in the room generally don’t attract much attention. I have so many personal experiences with this at events that I could fill an entire volume. I’ll share my favorite.

I was at a conference for speakers once. In the hallway outside the main conference hall there was a bookstore. After one of the sessions everyone flooded into the hallway for networking.  As this was a conference of speakers there many big personalities. As I walked around this room I noticed an older gentleman and it seemed like every conversation he was a part of, he was the most quiet. I watched him for a while. He looked very successful and distinguished, but we never said anything.  A short while later my curiosity got the best of me. I calmed approached him with energy similar to his and I introduced myself. 

He told me his name and we began to speak. Soon after I found that he was Frank Maguire, one of the four founders of FEDEX, the former VP of marketing for KFC and American Airlines and was an aid in the white house under JFK. Frank later became a mentor to me and an adopted grandfather. 

Most of the most success people in the world don’t say much unless there’s a reason for it.

Don’t speak negativity about people or things

Along side too much talking is the subject about which you are talking about. Recently I was at a smaller networking event that was an after party for a movie premiere I was invited to. As I circulated I happened to get caught up in a conversation with an actor who you would know. While I enjoyed our conversation I was surprised at how quickly he started speaking negatively not only about the event, but about some of his co-stars in the film. The energy around him was very negative and you could sense his jealousy. Obviously I’m not going to tell you who he was but a lot of my admiration for him faltered. I thought to myself that the rumours I had heard about him being difficult must certainly be true. And in my mind I made commitment that if ever I made films other than my documentaries that I would do well to leave him off my cast list.

A few minutes later I had the chance to speak to another star from the film but her energy was positive and encouraging. She was so welcoming and kind that I almost forgot she was a movie star. I suppose in this case it is okay to share her name as she is genuinely a wonderful and kind person. This was Jessica Biel. Not only is she extremely talented but she has a true interest in people and has a very positive outlook on life.

Negativity is also a form of insecurity. Jealousy, complaining, comparison and criticisms are all forms of scarcity thinking as well. And naturally the old adage your mother shared is also true, “If someone talks to you about others, they will talk to others about you.”

Here’s another quick story on this. I won’t mention all the names. Bill Farley is the former CEO of Fruit of the Loom and among other companies he has owned. He once went to introduce me to one of his contacts. When I met this contact the meeting didn’t go well. This individual was very egotistical and condescending. If I wasn’t so nice I would actually come out and call him rude. But that isn’t the lesson here. The lesson came afterwards when Bill heard about how this contact had treated me he was embarrassed, apologetic and genuinely bothered by it. While it wasn’t his fault he knew that it reflected on him somewhat. Because of that experience he told me he would be less likely to share this persons name in the future. 

When we are negative in any way shape or form we limit our ability to be shared in powerful networks.

Don’t fake it until you make it

I needed to talk about this one specifically. There are way too many gurus out there teaching people they need to fake it until they make it. THIS IS BAD ADVICE! In fact, I will be so bold as to say “Fake it ’til you make it” Is a lie.

Truly successful people know when you are faking it. They also consider it dishonest. It is very hard to like and trust someone who is dishonest.  If you put yourself in the shoes of a truly successful person you would also realize that it jeopardizes their career to help or endorse a fraud. And that is what you re when you fake it until you make. 

I once had a high level individual tell me that they would rather help an honest person who says, “I want to be and do this, but I am not there yet” than to help someone who is pretending.

Those who pretend are also not teachable. If there is one important lesson that I have learned through spending time with some of the most successful people in the world it is this. They want to help and they are willing to teach. My own experience has shown that they will help and mentor those who they believe in,. They are excited to be part of a victory story.

Hopefully these few suggestions help. The most important thing you can do next is to get out there and start connecting and networking.

Over the last two decades Douglas Vermeeren has conducted extensive first hand research into the lives of the worlds top achievers. He has the success strategies of top business leaders from Nike, Reebok, Fruit of the Loom, FedEx, KFC, United Airlines, Microsoft, Disney and others to share with you. ABC television and FOX Business refer to him as the modern Day Napoleon Hill. He has authored 3 books in the Guerrilla marketing series and is the CEO of Entrepreneur of Influence . He is a regular featured expert on FOX, CNN, ABC, NBC, CTV, CBC, The Huffington Post, NY Daily News and others. www.DouglasVermeeren.com