6 Inspiring Life Lessons from My Grandma That Made Me Successful in Business

Last week was my grandma’s birthday. Normally, I would have celebrated it with her by doing things that she loved – having coffee together in the morning, taking her shopping, doing dinner with the family, and maybe even an occasional pull of the slot machines at Yonkers or Monticello raceway.

However, things were a little bit different this year.

Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?

My grandma was everything to me. She was my heart and soul. But sometimes, the best people in life have to go through the worst pain imaginable.

Sadly, my grandma lost a tough 17-year battle with cancer in 2015.

Thus, making it the second year in a row that I was physically unable to celebrate her birthday with her.

That said, I was definitely with her in spirit.

(More on that soon).

For context, my grandma and I were extremely close.

My parents got divorced when I was a youngster, so my grandma stepped in to fill the void created by an unpleasant situation (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise).

No Bullshit, I Wrote This on a Beach in Hawaii

Image Location: Waimea Bay, Hawaii

Image Credit: Taken by me on my iPhone 7

Yep, dead serious. After busting my ass for the last 5 years, I’ve finally developed my marketing skills (and overall business confidence) to a level that has enabled me to lead a digital marketing team for a remote company.

With such a handsome advantage at my fingertips, I decided to take a temporary break from New York and work remotely from Hawaii for a three-week sprint.

Thinking About Grandma. Reflecting On Life.

I took a day in Hawaii to reflect on life in a very meaningful way.

Since it was my grandma’s birthday on May 18th, it got me thinking about her and the important life lessons she taught me.

Here are the 6 most important life lessons learned from my grandma that I applied and translated into my own business success.

1. Be Likeable

My grandma had an incredibly warm and welcoming spirit. When you were in her presence, you couldn’t help but feel comfortable. She was non-confrontational and easy going.

The amazing part about it – people would automatically reciprocate the same mannerisms back toward her because her spirit was so infectious.

This is an incredibility difficult skill to develop, maybe even impossible for some.

Essentially, it means to become influential. I’ve always done my best to convey a similar aura toward folks I interact with in the business world.

Some ways I practice being likable:

• Show genuine interest and listen actively during meetings.
• Be open minded to the ideas of others; your ideas are not always the best.
• Don’t ask for feedback without purpose.
• Don’t ask for feedback solely to seek validation of your own ideas.
• Ask teammates (especially those unlikely to speak up) for their input; promote inclusivity.
• Avoid being a challenger just to prove a point.
• Consider the goals and priorities of other departments.
• Speak and communicate with grace and respect.
• Check your ego at the door, not everyone has your experience.
• Be reliable and timely – always deliver on your promises.
• Take accountability – if you f*ck up, own it and learn from your mistakes.
• Don’t write checks you can’t cash.
• Don’t be a dick.

Let’s be honest – you’re going to have a tough time in business if people don’t like you.

Becoming influential requires sacrifice. Acquiring likeability means building trust and respect from your team.

The other part of this equation is self-awareness: don’t blindly assume everyone likes you.

Make sure you understand the gap between how people actually perceive you, versus how you think people perceive you.

2. Be Selfless

My grandma was one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever known. She always put the needs of the family above her own.

Even struggling with terminal cancer, she prioritized nursing me back to health if I were ever sick.

When she received her social security check, the first thing she’d do before spending it was ask me and my brothers what we needed – whether it be school supplies, groceries, lunch money, whatever the case.

She once won a few thousand dollars on a scratch off ticket and gave it to me and my brothers to share, with very little left over for herself.

If someone was hungry late at night, she’d cook up a storm with pleasure.

The following video embodies the quintessential spirit of my grandmother; it’s by far the most beautiful memory that I keep of her.

Video: Grandma Luisa invites us over to make some grilled tilapia.

Note: (Hair loss is due to chemotherapy.)

Here’s how I practice being selfless in business:

• Share successes with your team – don’t take sole credit for a team effort.
• Teach your team new skills – walk them through how to do something tactical.
• Host lunch & learns, whiteboard sessions, etc. Sharing knowledge is key.
• Put your priorities aside to help teammates who may be struggling.
• Take the time to get to know your team - you may even have surprisingly similar things in common with each other.

Example: There are plenty of times where I’m under a tough deadline for a deliverable, but the email team needs help with copywriting. As a leader, I understand that it’s an investment worth making to serve my team, although it means I’ll be working longer hours that day.

Commandment of Being Selfless:

Don’t ever, under any circumstances say…

That’s not my job.

3. Learn How To Work With People Who Are Different Than You

My grandma and grandpa could not have been more different from one another.

She was caring, compassionate, warm, friendly, vibrant, outgoing, and lovable.

She was your typical Italian grandma – you just wanted to hug her all the time.

My grandpa, on the contrary – was stern, numbers driven, and business focused. Like most Italian men, proving their manhood by establishing role as alpha provider was a normal attribute.

Given the polarity in their relationship, my grandma had to sacrifice and navigate around his personality type to make things work.

She did this with such a masterful approach, that only true high EQ individuals would be able to notice when this was happening.

Here’s how I've applied this lesson in business:

• Analyst vs Account Manager: During my agency life, I’ve naturally clashed with account managers. As an analyst responsible for doing deliverable work, I've always aimed to recognize the AM’s primary pain point of being under relentless client pressure. I’ve found that supporting them by keeping communication clear and concise (especially around due dates) goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship.
• Manager vs VP: My first experience running SEO in-house was unique in that I had to suddenly start communicating in a way that I wasn’t used to.

VP’s don’t give a flying f*ck about SEO metrics like domain authority, link velocity, citation flow, keyword rank zone distributions, and even traffic. Guess what they care about? Business results.

Learning to adapt to their needs meant reporting in a way that they’d care about – keeping signups and ROI at the forefront of the discussion.

• Sales vs Marketing: Being one of the lone marketing geeks on a team stacked with sales geniuses presents its own challenges. Salespeople, much like execs, are very interested in speed and revenue. There also tends to be a personality difference, with marketers generally being calculated and precision driven, while salespeople prefer speed and pursuing the shortest path to the desired result.
• Bridging the Gap: Inbound marketing, a very different process, can be tough for salespeople to grasp. It’s much slower (you can’t pick up the phone and call a decision maker) and connecting the dots back to ROI can be tricky. I’m still learning how to navigate this – but so far leveraging clear and consistent communication, internal education, and tying efforts back to lead gen have proven to be the most effective methods.

4. Be Highly Adaptable To Change

My grandma, like most other Italian immigrants came to the United States not knowing a word of English and had zero understanding of the American way of life.

While I’m sure she would have loved for Americans to learn Italian and adapt to a lifestyle she was already accustomed to, that just wasn’t realistic.

So, my grandma learned how to read and write in English at a level that was far superior to that of her country mates, or paisans if you will.

She knew that adjusting to a new environment was critical in order to survive.

Here’s how I’ve practiced being adaptable to change:

• Marketing Consulting: When I put my marketing consultant hat on, the first thing I do when working with a new client is take the time to intimately learn their industry. I can’t stress enough how important this is – no two business challenges are exactly the same, so cutting corners here will undoubtedly be a quick route to disaster.
• Working with Developers (Agile Framework): While I was running SEO operations at Pipedrive, I was fortunate enough to have earned the trust and support from a world class development team. They were super process oriented and it forced me to adapt to their workflow (weekly sprints). This meant being held accountable to weekly, short term goals while learning new frameworks such as estimating the backlog via the Fibonacci sequence.
• Working at High Growth Organizations: One of the biggest challenges faced for anyone working at a high growth company is accepting that things will change fast, furiously, and often. Executive visions can shift, funds can evaporate, culture can evolve, new (and sometimes unpopular) rules can be implemented. You have to roll with the punches and not let lack of routine prevent you from being successful.

5. Be Disciplined

My grandma knew that becoming successful required tough discipline. Some of these examples are a bit extreme, but here’s how my grandma exemplified being disciplined:

• Waking up everyday at 5AM - This pretty much wasn’t optional. Getting 4 wild grandchildren ready for school, owning household admin duties, and running a restaurant isn’t something that allows for sleeping in.
• Going to Sleep Every Night at 11PM - Don’t think this was optional either. After an 18 hour day, I doubt she had energy for anything else.
• Family First - This one’s a given, but have you ever thought about what it takes to put your family before everything you do, including your own wants and desires? My grandma sacrificed for us, and did it with pride. That’s something to learn from.
• Business Second - There were no vacations. No going out to clubs. No fancy dinners. No partying. No watching marathons of pointless shows. No drugs or alcohol. It was family, then all business. No games. (Not saying I completely agree with this, but it was reality).

Here’s how I practice being disciplined in business:

• Stay focused - This pretty much means avoiding all distractions. In our lack of attention span digital world, this is harder to do than it seems. I do this by:

1. Avoiding multi-tasking at all costs.
2. Muting all Slack channels that are not 100% relevant.
3. Only checking Email / Slack during certain times per day.
4. Only allowing browser windows open that pertain to the task at hand.
5. Setting my iPhone to airplane mode.
6. Wearing noise cancelling headphones.
7. Listening to ambient, relaxing sounds.
8. Consistently declining irrelevant meetings.
9. Politely saying no to things that are distracting.
10. Removing all clutter from my desk and surrounding areas.

• Prioritize Tasks - This is much harder to do than people think. I like to use Asana to prioritize tasks based on the Getting Things Done framework.
• Avoid Procrastination - From my experience, waiting until the last minute to get shit done almost always results in pain and suffering. Let’s just say I’ve done my fair share of all-nighters in the past, and they suck massively. Proper planning and taking action at the right times helps me avoid this disaster from becoming a recurring event.
• Set Goals (And Stick To Them) - No secrets here, just good old fashioned hard work.

Here are some of my goals:

• 1 Million Total Page Views in 2017.
• 450,000 Total Organic Page Views in 2017.
• Restructure Our Website Conversion Funnel by Q4.
• Build A Multi-Touch Attribution Model by Q4.
• Complete All SEO Website Optimization Tasks by 2018.

6. Be Strong During Tough Times (And Get Shit Done By Any Means Necessary)

When my grandparents teamed up to open DiNardi’s pizzeria & restaurant, my grandma was the face of the business.

She had the personality and communication skills to run operations like hiring, inventory management, and customer service – not to mention she was the master chef, serving up to 100 dishes per night on a regular basis.

Why was all of that significant?

• Cancer Didn’t Stop Her - Doing all of that work is a tall order for a completely healthy person. She managed to get all of that done while going in and out of hospitals for surgeries and chemotherapy on a daily basis. Imagine going directly from chemotherapy to a 100 degree kitchen to cook for 8 hours straight.
• She Had A Strong Poker Face - Even when she wasn’t feeling well, she’d come out from behind the kitchen and interact with customers like she was 100% okay. 
• Grandma's Legacy Lives Forever - Here’s a Facebook message I received from a long time customer (and former employee) after she died.

As heartbreaking as it is to think about “the good old days,” I could not be more proud of the legacy that my grandma left behind.

The kind words from the gentleman above represents a powerful testament to my grandma’s spirit; I can only try my best to follow in her footsteps.

Here’s how I apply this in business:

• Self-Learning New Skills (Under Pressure) - The most difficult stretch of my professional life was during my agency days. I had to learn how to complete challenging client deliverables that I’d never done before, with little oversight and minimal guidance.
• Become Resistant to the Effects of Failure: I failed miserably during my first few months working as an SEO Analyst. I kept shaking off the brutality of negative client feedback, and focused on learning from my mistakes. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I read online guides and watched video tutorials until I figured sh*t out. Eventually, I found myself writing How-To Manuals For SEO Content Auditing, and was pretty damn proud of myself for it.
• Do Stuff That Sucks - This is the major difference between failures and successful people. Failures don’t like to do stuff that sucks. Here’s how I take ownership of this:

1. Pay super close attention to the most minor details.
2. Obsessively proof-read every single thing I produce.
3. Respond to every single email, no matter what.
4. Meet tough deadlines, even if it requires working on holidays.
5. Make productive use of spare time - I don’t sleep on flights, I work.
6. Listen to audiobooks and podcasts at the gym.
7. Front-load your pain: do the most difficult tasks on your list first.

• Find Time For Things You Love - For me, this is continuing to produce music.

Check out a recent video of me in the studio:

A Tribute Song, In Loving Memory of Luisa DiNardi:

“Angel Back” written & produced by me.

In loving memory of Luisa DiNardi...

Until we meet again someday...

I love you...