6 important pieces of advice for the class of 2021 (that applies to all of us!)

In just a few weeks, my oldest son will be packing up and heading down to Austin to start as a Freshman at the University of Texas in their computer science program. As his father, I decided that I would give him some advice as he started his career, and I thought it would be good to share it with everyone else:

1.   Your first semester sets the stage

First impressions are first impressions. When you start anything strong, it opens doors and opportunities. Your first semester of college is your truly first adult opportunity to show others what you are made of. While it is tempting to socialize and explore your new freedom, your grades at school are you first priority. Success will give you plenty of opportunity to enjoy what that successes brings.

On the flip side, you don’t want to put yourself in a hole that you must spend a lot of energy climbing out of. If you don’t do well, you are going to have to explain that to future employers, it may hurt your ability to get into graduate school, and it makes getting summer internships that much harder.

As someone who recently decided to go back to law school, trust me when I say the first semester performance makes all the difference – by doing well, it opened up tremendous opportunities that I would not otherwise have.

2.   Networking is a lifelong skill to start in college

Your classmates may be your future boss, your future employee, your future client, or even your future spouse. These are people that are important in your near-term life as well as your long-term life. Treat them with respect, try to pay attention to what is important to them, and work on building the kind of relationships that you would want to last. They are also your first opportunity to network.

But don’t let networking be limited to just the circle of friends that you know. Reach out to friends of friends, parents of friends, and even strangers in the corporate world. If you genuinely are interesting in meeting someone and learning from them, they are often extremely interested in helping. This is certainly perhaps most true while you are in college, as many professionals remember being in your shoes and are happy to provide input and advice on your career. They can also become mentors, connectors for future opportunities, or even employers.

And don’t think of networking as only talk of business. Giving advice, providing favors, and recognizing the accomplishments of others is just as important.

3.   Everyone is unique

If you spend any time reading books on leadership or observing successful executives in various businesses, you will see that different people bring different styles and capabilities to their jobs. Part of your college experience should be about finding how you work, what makes you successful, and what personal obstacles you need to overcome. Some of us are extroverts (which my co-workers and family know I am probably too much so) and some of us are introverts. Some of us are very analytical and logical and some of us are more intuitive and creative. If you try and spend too much time trying to be like someone else or copying how they work, you are going to cheat yourself out of your true self and a happy future. Now, that isn’t to say that this gives you permission to be lazy or not learn from observing others; but it does mean you need to balance your genuine self against anyone else you might want to emulate.

As for study habits and preparing for school, this same concept applies. Some students require hours and repetition to do well. Others just “get it” and can do well by simply trying to understand concepts. Find out what works for you, and don’t let others pressure you – if they skip studying for a party but you need the time, focus on you first, not the peer pressure. And, if you happen to “get” a subject, don’t torture yourself doing busy work, focus on learning other things or take some time to relax.

4.   Understand what is important to you

This world is full of happy and successful people that do jobs you would never dream of. Don’t define success based on the criteria of other people. Your ultimate happiness is not wrapped up in finding the perfect job, making the most money, or living in your dream city. Find out where your passion and talents are. Trust me, if you can find work in those areas, your success will follow because you won’t have to work hard to be good at it. From there, you can expand and do whatever you like.

Some of my favorite examples you can see on TV: successful cake bakers, successful pawn shop owners, successful police officers, successful entrepreneurs, successful home designers, etc. Some of these jobs pay quite low, but because they are passionate, they have turned an ordinary career into extraordinary stories. While you are young, life looks like it is expansive, but looking back at my own career and family, I assure you that it is much shorter than you think. Enjoy the ride, and do what makes you happy – not what you think others demand of you.

5.   Failure makes you stronger

Good judgment comes from experience, and the most experience comes from bad judgment. Not everything you plan is going to work out. You aren’t always going to get a class that you really wanted; you aren’t always going to get perfect grades in each class; and, you aren’t always going to get an offer from each employer. You will stumble along the way, and you may even totally fail.

Don’t let any of that defeat you. Learn from the things that get in your way. Take lessons from your biggest failures – that will turn them into your greatest gifts.

As for myself, I went to college with the idea of going to medical school. I struggled to get good grades, and I was only waitlisted at medical schools. But I made a change and went to graduate school to get a computer science master’s degree. It was the best thing that could have happened in my life. My failure was a huge gift.

6.   Don’t believe everything you hear

Have you ever looked at what friends put on Facebook? They are travelling the world, eating expensive dinners, receiving awards, and living seemingly perfect lives. Well, the real world works like that too. You will often only hear about success, not failure. You will hear people brag about all the good things that are happening to them. The reality is quite different – they are having their own struggles.

So, when you are feeling overwhelmed. Or you are feeling that you just don't “get it” when others do. Just know that everyone is human. We all have times of stress and fear and uncertainty. You are not alone. Rely on your family, rely on your friends, and let others know how you are doing. College is the chance for growth and opportunity. It is the beginning of your adult life, not the end of it.

As the father of a soon to be college Freshman, I could not be prouder. I also worry. Please pass this along to other families, especially advice #6. Our young adults have a tremendous opportunity in front of them, let’s wish them all the best and support them as they become our future leaders.