6 exercises to heal your wounded inner child

She was sad and heartbroken, "He's going to leave anyway. They always do!" Callista said in frustration.

Anna stared at her in disbelief. You can't possibly be serious, right? "It is just a little misunderstanding you guys had, every other relationship out there goes through the same, why would you even think he would leave you because of that?" "Do you even have any idea how much he loves you?"

Hearing these words coming from her friend got Callista thinking. 'Could she be right?' 'But why has he been more invested in his work than our relationship lately?' At that point, the tears that had been on the brink came pouring down her cheeks.

"You, my friend, are simply overreacting, you just need to have a long chat with him, that's all it takes to figure out what exactly is going on."

The truth is, Callista's partner has been more occupied at work lately because the firm where he works got into a new partnership and he had to work long hours to beat the deadline. She, being such a needy 'big baby' couldn't stand him neglecting her, or so she assumed.

Just like Callista, we could have those moments where we make assumptions because somewhere in our subconscious mind, we have concluded that a particular event from our past is probably reoccurring (in Callista's case, neglect, and eventually, abandonment by her father).

In such cases, those emotions will come rushing back. Disappointment, hurt, fear, etc. and our natural instinct will be to put up a wall to protect our fragile hearts. That right there is our wounded inner child, tugging at our heartstrings.

6 Exercises that will help heal your wounded inner child

Last week, we took a sneak peek into who the inner child is, how it is trapped inside every single one of us, and how she/he shows up.

Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible.– Paulo Coelho

The moment you have acknowledged your inner child's hurt, its wound, its disappointments, it begins to trust you. "Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible."– Paulo Coelho. With that, you are a step into its healing process.

According to the psychospiritual writer,? Aletheia Luna, here are a few ways to support your inner child to feel safe:

1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

Get a notebook for this, if you have a journal, the better!

Now, create a page for each stage of your childhood that you can remember. For example, preschool self (3-4 years), school-aged self (5-10), etc.

Reflect and record on each page you have created how you felt at each of those stages. Recall as many events as you can. No detail should be dismissed, no matter how silly your adult self may think it is. Feelings from every memory that you can recall (from family, friends at home, school, church, down to teachers) should be noted.

2. Write a letter 'TO' your inner child

This one would probably leave you feeling emotional. It is ok to let it rain.

Now, imagine yourself as a Godmother/Godfather/guardian trying to adopt a child (your inner child). Write in a way that would make the child feel cared for, safe, and understood. Let this child know how much you love him/her.

Here's one I wrote to my little self:

Dear Chinny,

I am so excited to meet you. It wasn't your fault that people whom you grew up with walked away from your life without saying goodbye. I am here now, to love and protect you, and I am not going anywhere. I love you so much.

Love, Godmother Philomina.

3. Write a letter 'FROM' your inner child

Here, you will have to write from the mind of your little self. A great way to achieve this is to write with your non-dominant hand. Let's say you are right-handed, your non-dominant hand will be your left hand. According to Aletheia, this will help you get more in touch with your inner child's feelings.

Here is one from my little self

Dear Godmother,

I want to feel safe and loved. I forget things, I don't want to be screamed at.

Love, Chinny

You can write back and forth, to and from your inner child. You will be amazed at how much this will reveal.

4. Share your pain with a trusted person

This very one is certainly not a walk in the park, and it is ok if you're not ready for it yet.

But whenever you are, seek out someone you are comfortable sharing with. It could be a friend, a support group, a spiritual counselor, or a trusted therapist. If you do not have a genuine, caring, and supportive friend, I'll suggest you opt for a therapist.

We are naturally social beings, and having to hear someone validate our pain with love, without questions, argument, and judgment plays a great part in the healing process.

5. Loving and supportive affirmation

Indulge yourself in positive and loving affirmations. Create them based on your need, to support your journey and affirm your worthiness. Here are a few affirmations I say to myself during my daily activities and meditation:

I believe in you

I support you, you can do it

I want to spend time with you

You have a voice that needs to be heard

It's ok to be sad and angry, don't hold it in for too long.

Repeat them as many times as you need to hear them. This can result in profound change and healing.

6. Be your own protector and nurturer

This simply means that you will be 're-parenting' your inner child. Taking full responsibility for its needs and wants. Nurturing and protecting it.

You can achieve this by creating a clear line between what is and isn't okay and creating healthy boundaries.

Practice self-care, eat food that nourishes you, exercise take time out for yourself paying attention to the needs and wants of your mind and body.

In case you can't do the whole re-parenting thing on your own, engaging an inner child therapist as earlier mentioned will be a smart choice.

Final words

When you take full responsibility for your life and happiness, that's the greatest gift you can ever give to your inner child. Befriend, heal, and nurture the broken child within you, and you will develop a healthier mind and soul.