#6 - Being "Freddish"

I remember growing up watching 'Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood' and though I had no remembrance of what exactly the content was in the show, I do remember the feeling I had when watching it. In a land of make belief, one could feel safe, calm and free to be themselves in that brief moment as his show aired on the television.

Since then, I have learnt of the profound impact Mr. Rogers has had on Children's television, on child development, and on society. He preached important values such as inclusiveness, kindness and vulnerability on his show, all of which, dare I say, society continues to struggle with today. But what made Mr Rogers truly successful was this - he knew his audience. Children.

I recently came across an article from the Atlantic "Mister Rogers Had a Simple Set of Rules for Talking to Children". In it, shares a glimpse of Mr. Rogers' process around deeply understanding children. He engaged with researchers around children development and paid attention to every step of the production process, both the big ideas and the granular details. He meticulously crafted the way he communicated with children through his television show, understanding that each word and idea he expressed will have a profound impact on his audience. As an example, an illustrated guide was created by writers Arthur Greenwald and Barry Head called “Let’s Talk About Freddish,” which provided an example of how thoughtful the writing of the scripts were for each show.

Here are the 9 steps in the guide:

1. “State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.” Example: It is dangerous to play in the street.
2. “Rephrase in a positive manner,” as in It is good to play where it is safe.
3. “Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.” As in, “Ask your parents where it is safe to play.”
4. “Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.” In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
5. “Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.” That’d be “will”: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
6. “Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.” Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
7. “Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.” Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
8. “Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.” “Good” represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
9. “Rephrase your idea a ?nal time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.” Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.

The careful, well thought out process in these 9 steps really made me think about my communication with my audiences, and how deeply did I understand them. Whether it is drafting an email at work, educating my students in my dance class, or even posting something on social media, I am now more compelled to reflect on my who my audience is, my choice of words, and the use of various communication devices, to have a deeper impact.

Inspired by the 9 steps above, here are my 5 steps for communicating ideas:

1. State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms your audience can understand.
2. Rephrase the idea so that it matches the tone you are hoping to convey to your audience
3. Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind the context of your audience and that they may not have the same shared knowledge that you do.
4. Rephrase your idea to be inclusive and eliminate any element that may not apply/ resonate with your audience.
5. Add a simple motivational idea that gives your audience a reason to act.

I invite you to use these 5 steps as you craft your communications to your audience, and if you have a suggestion to improve it, I'm all ears. Quoting the man himself:

“Listening and trying to understand the needs of those we would communicate with seems to me to be the essential prerequisite of any real communication. And we might as well aim for real communication.”

Let's all strive towards real communication.