5G: First World Tech for First World Problems

After completing a mountain of serious writing, I need to get a bit cheeky here. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the far-fetched 5G use cases we’ve heard for several years in C-level keynotes. Since the current health scare is shutting keynotes down this year, I’d like to offer some new 5G use cases. 5G seems to be a first-world technology at this point, so let’s look at how it might solve some first world problems.

Use Case #1: Robot Dog Walker

Dogs are super-trendy. Even people who don’t like dogs are spending thousands with breeders to get in on the trend. My good friend and neighbor has one on order. I thought about how much he is not going to want to walk or clean up after this creature in the depths of winter here in Chicago. Maybe 5G can help.

Imagine a 5G-controlled robotic dog walker. It would not only solve for freezing cold potty breaks, but also for letting the dog out when stuck in traffic or when extra time strikes in a travel soccer (ahem, football) match. It would alleviate anxiety and save that imported rug all at once.

Use Case #2: Streaming Real-Time Vitals

When you marry someone who works in a pediatric ICU, health paranoia becomes part of your life. Not only does your spouse want the sitter or camp counselor to send continuous photos of your kids, he or she wants access to their vitals – blood pressure, heart rate, pulse oximeter, body temperature, blood gas…you get the idea. Maybe 5G can help here too.

Imagine a device implanted in your child that streams vitals data in real-time, 24x7 and provides alerts for any change that exceeds a threshold you define through an app. This would probably serve to make the health paranoia and obsession worse, but a subscription to it would make for a unique anniversary gift.

Use Case #3: Parking Space Optimizer

You have 15 minutes between the end of school and the start of your kid’s ballet class. In a city like Chicago, your weekly dose of anxiety arises from parking uncertainty. You hope for a spot right in front of the studio. You think you see one as you arrive, but it’s half a meter too short. If only that Benz at the end had parked right up by the Tow Zone signpost. 5G can help.

You hit the parking optimizer button and – in this future state anyway – the autopilots scoot every car in the column up against the signpost and with just enough space between bumpers. Voila – you have a parking space. Anxiety alleviated; ballet dreams preserved for another day.

Use Case #4: Autonomous Ice Cream Truck

As cold as it gets in winter, summers in Chicago can be very hot. The kids are out at the playground running, sweating and complaining about the heat. When they hear the irritating ice cream truck song in the distance, they go insane. They beg for cash. Their sugar addiction turns them into even more dangerous beasts. But you hate the music; you hate the diesel exhaust; you worry your kid will be run over (most of the time); and you don’t carry cash like you used to. 5G should help.

Imagine an autonomous ice cream truck. It’s electric. It’s self-serve. It will play your favorites from your Spotify playlist. You can call it on-demand like an Uber or agree with other parents to block it until the children comply. And it takes any digital payment method you prefer. If you really want to get fancy, it uses MEC and AI to run predictive models on ice cream popularity, so it never runs out of the favorites. Maybe it’s resupplied by drone. Oh, and it has proximity detection, so no one is run over or made to sprint around the block (though maybe that should be an option in the app?).

What’s the point?

Maybe there is no point, other than to have a bit of fun. Or maybe the point is that 5G isn’t about speed but rather applications that solve problems. And it would be ideal if we, as an industry, would focus on how 5G can solve real, tangible problems other industries face daily, rather than making stuff up that sounds kind of cool in keynotes.