500 days of rejection made me compensate my fears like this

“To rise you first need to take a fall. Your achievements never define you, your failures set the path of what you do with your life.”─ Martin Luther King.

“Want to become a leader who gets things done? If yes, then stop using email to manage work and switch to ProofHub .”

As a young child I never got any meaning out of the above quote. As an adult it took me 500 days to twist something out of it. I learnt that rejections are like doses of medicine that you need to take on daily basis to become healthy. Then a time comes when you need to take them no more.

The rejection medicine tastes so bitter because in between the hustle of a fast paced corporate life and asking for a red checkered Vans at a showroom, we never know when we transitioned ourselves into a “scene kid” to whom the parents forgot to tell not to take rejection so hard.

Taking rejection normally is the first step to dealing with it. People who are persistent at taking rejections normally can turn every NO into a YES! It could be something as small as convincing a stranger to lend you a $5 bill to working for the company of your dreams. Today I share with you something that helped me compensate my fear of rejections.

Be wise enough to know the real reason behind rejection

We all encounter rejections like: You were not selected for this job, this design could be much better, I won’t date you. All these rejections carry a trap with themselves. The trap of believing the reason that you are provided point blank.

Fake reasons: You don’t have enough number of references, I think the color is not right, I have a boyfriend.

Real reasons: My boss has references of his own, I am afraid to go against the customary design standards, I am a golddigger.

You can begin by working on the unstated reasons if they are in your control, otherwise you are good just the way you are. No need to turn on the panic button anytime soon.

Rejection can make you grow faster, even if you can’t see results initially

Life is like a river. As you enter into it you try to beat the river into submission. But you cannot beat a river. You have to surrender yourself to the current of the river and use its power as your own. Silence your own ego and you will see the power grow.

Submitting yourself to life will be the first time you will face rejection, but trust me that’s the only way to grow and achieve what you want.

Great momentum comes only with patience

People lack patience, we all do. Quick and fast is the ideal deal that we crave for. Not because we don’t have time, but because we do not have the patience to build a great momentum.

Today I want a good job, but I am not willing to invest time to build the required skill. As time grows, this bottleneck will keep on shrinking until finally I see a closed door that says good luck next lifetime.

This will be second time you will face rejection. If you give up easily here, you will never be able to give that rolling stone a momentum. Your rejection can grow into fear, to non-commitment, to overthinking and finally to self-doubt. Remember that fear only subdues mind when doubt catalyzes it to do so. And doubt arises by not putting in the required effort.

Conclusion: The third and the last rejection

So you have been following my lead that begins by submitting yourself to self control and then using patience to build momentum. Now, it is just the right time to face rejection for the third time in your life. And believe me there is no way you can stop that from happening.

Even if you are the greatest genius that mankind has ever produced, people won’t appreciate what you have to contribute to the society in your first try.

I give you an example of a great writer called J. K. Rowling. Her book was submitted to twelve publishing houses, all of which rejected the manuscript initially. This means she faced the third type of rejection 12 times. But she followed a laid out path and that’s what made all the difference. 

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Vartika Kashyap is a seasoned marketing professional who is an expert in digital marketing and entrepreneurship. She’s been featured among LinkedIn’s Top Voices for the year 2016. She currently runs the marketing team at ProofHub — a project management software for teams of all sizes. Connect with Vartika on LinkedIn, Medium and Twitter.

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Originally published at Yourstory.com