50 Shades of F***ed Up

Many years ago, I had a catch-up with a friend in the lobby cafe of his very prestigious corporate office.

It quickly became clear that he was in the depths of one of his most challenging career chapters.

He told me about how he was navigating cut-throat organisational politics, unprofessional leadership behaviours, an extremely high workload and constantly changing priorities. On top of that, there was a restructure on its way - again.

He said to me, lowering his voice, “You know Cassie, from the outside, this place looks like 50 shades of blue, but inside, it’s really 50 shades of f***ed up.”

This small comment, whispered in a cafe over a decade ago, really stayed with me.

I have come to see that there is no such thing as a perfect organisation. Every single organisation has shades of light and dark.

I used to believe that working for a non-for-profit would be a pretty safe bet in terms of finding a workplace where people treated each other with kindness, dignity and respect. Then, I discovered that some leaders in charitable organisations justify treating other people really poorly “in the name of a good cause.” To learn more about this?unfortunate phenomenon, read the report?In Plain Sight?that examines the high levels of bullying in the charity sector.

I used to believe that working in an organisation that ranks as a "Great Place to Work" was also a safe bet. However, I recently had another friend who found himself unexpectedly dealing with unprofessional, hurtful behaviour from a peer. His organisation ranks towards the top of the Great Places to Work list. Interestingly, his manager told him that the organisations stellar reputation made it really hard for her to get support from HR to face into pockets of problematic behaviours.

And of course, sometimes all it takes to transform a great team culture into a not-so-great one is the arrival of one new leader. I have seen great team cultures unravel within weeks as a result of the arrival of just one new key player.

So, what do we do if we find ourselves working in a workplace environment towards at darker end of spectrum?

THRIVING IN CHALLENGING ENVIRONMENTS

When one of the leaders I coach finds themselves in a less-than-ideal work environment, I'll usually ask them the following sorts of questions.

How are you looking after yourself?

It’s essential we stay committed to taking good care of ourselves when navigating challenging times. Often, it's when we are struggling the most that we stop doing the things we need this most. This is a slippery slope. No matter how overwhelmed we feel, we can always make small choices that feed our life force and create a safety-net of vitality. If Obama managed to run every day during his presidency, really, what excuse do we have? We can start by doubling-down on the foundational well-being hygiene factors. Avoid alcohol, hard-wire regular exercise into your calendar, get at least 7 hours of sleep, make intentional, wise choices around nutrition and hydration and stay connected to people you can speak honestly with. Get crystal clear on your well-being non-negotiables and don’t let them slide.

How are you talking to yourself?

Our thoughts are often the inner dialogue of our many different 'parts.' By paying close attention to our inner dialogue, we can develop practices to take really good care of the parts of ourselves that are struggling the most. If we can become genuinely curious about the conversations happening inside of us, we can create a map of our inner protective system and from there, develop specific strategies to reassure and lead the less empowered, more fearful 'parts' of ourselves. As an IFS-informed leadership coach this is something I am trained to support people with. Instead of trying to drown out our inner voices, we can learn how to embrace them - and in doing do, grow our capacity to dig deeper and access our true power.

What impact is this environment having on you?

The environments in which we work shape us. As much as we might like to think of ourselves as somehow immune to the environments we expose ourselves to when we are working, the inconvenient truth is that we are not immune. In the same way plants needs fertile, nutrient-rich soil in order to sustain growth and health over the long term, humans need this too. We are not robots, and so, maintaining an awareness of the cost of staying in a less-than-ideal environment is essential. From that place of awareness, we can continue to invest in taking care of ourselves, while also making an informed choice about how long we can afford to stay before the price gets too high.

How are you creating islands of sanity?

Margaret Wheatley, author of Who Do We Choose To Be? Facing Reality, Claiming Leadership, Restoring Sanity, taught me that we can’t force systems to change. Instead, we must create “islands of sanity” right where we are. An island of sanity in a difficult environment can take many different forms. Perhaps it takes the form of a trusted friend, colleague or coach you can have totally open, honest conversations with in a 'cone of silence' without any fear of repercussion. Perhaps it takes the form of a daily ritual that turns down the volume of the outside world. Perhaps it's a hobby or side-hustle that gives you a sense of contribution, meaning and purpose. Whatever form your islands of sanity take, intentionally creating them can make a big difference to your day-to-day working life.

How might you use your voice in a way that is safe?

Many years ago, I was fortunate to hear Lieutenant General David Lindsay Morrison AO speak at a small leadership event. David’s words “the standard you walk past is the standard you accept” made a lasting impact on me. If we see or experience unprofessional, hurtful behaviors at work, I believe that we have a obligation to use our voice for good. If it’s not safe to share what we experienced with our leader or with HR, perhaps we can provide honest feedback in the employee survey, or post an anonymous review. I have posted a number of honest Glassdoor reviews over my career that have hopefully helped others make a more informed decision about the sort of workplace they are signing up to. By using our voice for good, in a way that is safe, we feed our sense of empowerment and play our part in bringing about positive change.

ABOUT ME

Hey there, ?? I’m Cassie.

You know how most of the time we’re just skimming the surface of our potential at work? Well, I empower leaders and teams to activate their true brilliance.

I believe that by reconnecting to our deepest selves, we liberate our highest potential and serve the greatest good.

I offer consulting, coaching, keynotes, workshops, and authentic leadership programs. I’m an accredited leadership coach and an accredited Time to Think Facilitator. My approach is underpinned by the evidence-based modality of IFS (Internal Family Systems).

Learn more here.