[50 ROCKS: SINCERE] God Taps in our Most Transparent Moments

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable and transparent with your audience.

I was up at 2AM, suddenly compelled to share with my tribe the real "behind the scenes" story of my past year. Sincerity was the only way I was going to finally get back to sleep!

You see, my brother Eddie died of cancer this summer, after a 1.5 year battle with PREVENTABLE colon cancer, at age 56. And I was his primary caregiver and healthcare quarterback. It SUCKS BEYOND WORDS.

So while I've done my best to put on my brave face, smile and keep working through the pain, it's finally dawned on me that I've not been quite right. Not visible in the way I'd hoped. Moving ahead but not fast enough for my incessant "activator" energy. My head and heart have just not been fully in this game called LIVING. I probably lost more than a few brain cells along the way, too.

That manifested in some emails I'd sent out this week. In my haste to get "back in the game" I rushed through emails (instead of letting my VA proofread, check the new database, etc.) So I unfortunately sent out several THOUSAND personalized emails - ALL to the WRONG NAME! (Yes, the joy of having missed one cell in the Excel file, causing everyone to drop one line below and mismatch the names to the emails.) ONE STUPID CELL wreaked hours of havoc as a few kind people pointed out my error. And I'm sure many more either thought I was a dope, ignore the message that was not "for them," or simply opted out of my list altogether.

Rather than hide in my shame, I opted to admit and apologize for my error and offer my sincere gratitude for their kindness during this wretched period in my life. At 2am I crafted an apology/transparency note to my list. I asked for forgiveness for my stupid, simple error. And I finally let them know about my brother's passing. Not for a pity party, but to reinforce that I'm mostly a beacon of hope and positivity but that life kicks my ass sometimes, too. SINCERE GRATITUDE was at the forefront of the message.

There are lessons to be shared. I appreciate all the love, both then, and now. And I want EVERYONE to take better care of themselves and GET A COLONOSCOPY!!

But the biggest lesson came from the heartwarming notes that flooded my inbox. Not only were people kind, and understanding...but I heard from some folks who I haven't spoken with in ages. And I received the most uplifting notes from a few who I'd barely consider close friends...including one I really didn't think liked me all that much at all. ;-)

Wow, sincerity really goes a long way!

So please learn from my lesson:

1) DELEGATE your less-important tasks so you can focus on your strengths.

2) A SECOND set of eyes on your work always helps.

3) Don't always feel like you have to be brave and perfect...sincere transparency and doing your best will still resonate with your real tribe.

4) People are a lot nicer and more forgiving than you think.

5) Overcoming loss takes a lot longer than expected (or it never really goes away), so be kind to yourself when those awkward moments "bubble up."

6) Be kinder to others because you don't know what inner demons they fight or what battles they tackle.

7) Life is short, don't wait to tell others how you feel about them.

8) You never know where your next blessing will come from.

9) Pay Attention. God Taps.

10) SCHEDULE YOUR COLONOSCOPY TODAY!!!!

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Blessings to you and yours as my friends celebrate the New Year...

Pat

BTW Here's a favorite picture of my sister (the little blonde attorney), our oldest brother Mike and Eddie (both of them retired this year - only Eddie will never get to enjoy that well-earned rest). Get screened, my friends. #CancerSucks