50 for 50, Part 13: Reclaiming Power - A Journey from Trauma to Resilience

50 for 50, Part 13: Reclaiming Power - A Journey from Trauma to Resilience

In life, we all encounter hardships and challenges that can shake us to our core. For some, the road is fraught with intense experiences that test every ounce of resilience and inner strength. Yet, it's within these darkest moments that we can discover our true power—the power of now, the power of agreement, and the power of mindset. My journey included multiple prolonged illnesses in my children, career instability, major health concerns for me, multiple immediate family member deaths including a suicide, and a very unsettling divorce and its associated problems.

You’ve seen me mention two of them before. Joy Mcadams is new to the equation; she is a North Star and beacon of positivity in the mindset space. In this article, we'll explore how the profound wisdom found in Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" and "The Fifth Agreement," combined with insights on mindset by Joy (@joy-mcadams-59878a10a), served as guiding lights on my path to healing and transformation for others who have faced overwhelming adversity.

Embracing the Present Moment: The Power of Now

Eckhart Tolle's masterpiece, "The Power of Now," is a profound exploration of the importance of living in the present moment, which represented a completely foreign concept for me. For someone grappling with the aftermath of severe illness, tragic loss, and personal upheaval, the concept of being present can became a lifeline in the midst of chaos.

In the face of such immense challenges, it's easy to become consumed by regrets of the past or anxieties about the future. However, Tolle teaches us that true peace and contentment can only be found in the present moment. By learning to quiet the incessant chatter of the mind and fully immerse myself in the here and now, I found a sense of inner calm and clarity even in the midst of turmoil and I learned how to flip the switch when I observed myself sliding backward. It seems that overthinking has become a major staple in the lives of many people. In reality, the brain’s primary role is to keep the body alive, rather than ruminating or problem solving. Figuring this out provided a much need game-changer for me.

?For someone navigating the aftermath of multiple family tragedies, the onset of a chronic illness, divorce, and relocation, embracing the power of now provided a much-needed anchor amidst the storm. By focusing on what is happening in the present moment, rather than dwelling on past sorrows or future uncertainties, I began to cultivate a sense of acceptance and resilience.

The Four Agreements: A Path to Personal Freedom

Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" offers a practical guide to personal transformation based on ancient Toltec wisdom. These four agreements—be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, and always do your best—served as powerful tools for breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and behaviors.

For someone who has experienced profound loss, betrayal, and upheaval, the wisdom of the four agreements proved particularly impactful. By committing to be impeccable with one's word—both in how I spoke to myself and others—I began to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild trust in myself and others.

Similarly, by learning not to take anything personally and not to make assumptions, one can release the grip of past traumas and step into a place of greater emotional freedom. Once I realized that I had power over this aspect of my behavior, I also came to understand that forgiveness was entirely about me, not the person being forgiven. In the face of adversity, it's all too easy to internalize blame or to project one's fears onto others. However, by recognizing that the actions and words of others are a reflection of their own inner reality, rather than a reflection of our worth, I was able to reclaim power and agency.

The Fifth Agreement: The Power of Self-Expression

Building upon the foundation of "The Four Agreements," Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Fifth Agreement" invites us to explore the power of authenticity and self-expression. In a world where societal expectations and external pressures often dictate our thoughts and actions, the fifth agreement encouraged me to reclaim my true essence and live from a place of authenticity.

For someone who experienced the crushing weight of societal expectations, the fifth agreement offered a powerful invitation to reconnect with myself and to express myself authentically. Whether it's through creative expression, honest communication, or simply embracing who I am without apology, the fifth agreement empowered me to step into my fullest potential and live a life of purpose and passion. This aspect proved particularly important in achieving the level of calm and confident communication I desired for so long but could not previously find a way to employ.

Mindset Matters: Insights from Joy Mcadams

In addition to the profound teachings of Tolle and Ruiz, the insights of mindset coach Joy Mcadams offer invaluable guidance on cultivating a resilient mindset in the face of adversity. Drawing upon the principles of positive psychology and cognitive-behavioral therapy, Mcadams emphasizes the importance of reframing negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, and cultivating a sense of gratitude. My previous point regarding the brain’s utility suggests only that we often use the brain to perseverate on that which we cannot control, rather than remaining in the present moment and focusing only on what we can control, letting the remainder go.

For someone like me to grapple with the aftermath of trauma and loss, Mcadams' teachings offered practical tools for shifting out of victim mode and allowed me to embrace empowerment. By learning to reframe challenges as opportunities for growth, practicing self-care and self-compassion, and cultivating gratitude for the blessings in their life, I allowed myself to rewrite my story and reclaim power over engagement with any challenge or simply letting it go.

Conclusion: A Journey of Healing and Transformation

In conclusion, the combined wisdom of Eckhart Tolle, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Joy Mcadams offers a powerful roadmap for those who have faced overwhelming adversity on their journey to healing and transformation. By embracing the power of now, the wisdom of the four agreements, the authenticity of the fifth agreement, and the resilience of a positive mindset, individuals can reclaim their power, rewrite their story, and emerge from even the darkest of times with newfound strength and purpose.

In the face of life's greatest challenges, may we remember that our true power lies not in what has happened to us, but in how we choose to respond. And in the words of Eckhart Tolle, "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life."