50 & full of firepower for 50 more

Three reasons why this is my professional prime

For those of you who know me as an extremely private person who loves anonymity, my first blog topic is undoubtedly uncharacteristic. ?So, why then, do I feel the need to write this blog? The simple answer lies in my value of advocacy - my compelling need to press for positive change which underscores everything I do. But, regardless of the headline, let me share a disclaimer: This blog is not as much about age as it is about the individual journeys we experience as we go about our lives and careers, and how they shape our coming of age in the different dimensions of our lives.

What advocacy and why advocacy? Why do 50-somethings need advocacy, some of you may wonder. Well, until a few years ago, I may have asked the same question myself. However, as someone in the fifth decade of my existence, I have become more sensitized to the many pre-conceptions and judgements prevalent around age. I have listened attentively to 50+ colleagues and friends, mostly women, about their not so pleasant experiences with gendered ageism, and how conscious and unconscious biases around their age have possibly limited their growth and advancement opportunities. “You're probably not looking for advancement opportunities anymore, are you?” or “What are your retirement plans - isn’t that just a few more years away?” are some questions that have come my way routinely, much to my surprise and more often dismay. Although I could address these sentiments individually, I am troubled by what this represents; simply put, these comments are symptoms of the larger problem - age-centric stereotypes - that have a widespread negative impact on careers and professional aspirations. So, yes, we do need to advocate for age-agnostic meritocracy.

In my humble effort to do my part, I am sharing why I believe I am at my prime at 50+ years old, and while this story has something to do with my age, it has more to do with the time and toil I have invested in getting to where I am today. My reasons for the strength and confidence I feel today largely center around the three themes described below:

#1: Knowing myself

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom" ~ Aristotle

I was born a generalist. I have always loved many subjects and have always been curious about many different disciplines. Although I believe these qualities built the learning leader and the rounded professional I am today, I had a hard time zeroing in on my higher education and my professional aspirations earlier in my life. Coupled with the fact that I was not acquainted with my strengths, I spent a considerable portion of my 20s navigating education and professional choices. Then, as life happened, my 20s and a good part of 30s were spent moving countries and later continents, uprooting my life and career to start a family, all of which took focus, effort and most importantly time. Despite many personal demands and commitments, I always made an effort to hone my skills and go the extra mile at my job. However, my career and ambition took a back seat to survival, and I was driven purely by my relentless work-ethic, as well as a burning desire to integrate into a new country as a mother, wife, professional and citizen.

Fast forward into my late 30s and early 40s, when I began to re-discover my identity and reflect deeply upon my value proposition as a professional. I slowly became alive to what motivated me and began to delve deeper into the “Why” that gave me joy. As I peeled back the layers and came closer to my vision and mission, I felt myself transforming. Slowly I started to focus my energies into bettering myself as a leader and being more in touch with my passions. I realized that knowledge of the self would be the most critical differentiator in illuminating my path forward. Through that expedition, I now have greater clarity and a more intimate familiarity with myself, my strengths, and my purpose. “Knowing myself” has been an organic journey of professional growth, and in my case, one that has spanned several decades. ???

#2: Being myself

"Be Yourself; everyone else is already taken" ~ Oscar Wilde

“I am enough.” This life-changing mantra was imparted to me by my wise mentor. He said to me, “You are good as you are. Stop doubting yourself and just remember every day that you are enough!” But I really am not, was the thought that reverberated in my head in response. Nevertheless, over time, after becoming a mentor myself, I began to realize the truth behind this simple yet powerful phrase. As someone who struggled with Imposter Syndrome and had to challenge existing dominant leadership profiles to be seen as a leader myself, I realized that I could never achieve the success that I believed I was capable of if I could not be my authentic self. I spent significant time with this theme of “Authenticity”, reading some of the most pathbreaking works of Brene’ Brown and Sheryl Sandberg, and training myself to concentrate on my skills rather than ruminating on my flaws. By the time I stepped into my first leadership position in my late 30s, I was ready to lead with authenticity - to continue working on my strengths and to help others discover theirs.

Now, at this stage of my life and career, I do believe that “I am enough” - not from a place of complacency, but from a place of confidence in my abilities.

Being myself has been liberating, for aren’t we all at our best when we are ourselves? The positive energy authenticity creates has an empowering effect on everyone around us. While this sounds elementary, it took time for me to absorb this truth and be confident in my vulnerability.

Now in my 50s, I have never been more comfortable being myself, less apologetic for who I am, as self-assured in my non-dominant, non-conforming leadership style, and as sure about my ability to help develop authentic professionals around me.

#3: Trusting myself

"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen" ~ Brene' Brown

“The self is one's best friend and one's worst enemy”, is a famous nugget of wisdom from my culture. For a long time in my career, I was my own worst enemy; I did not trust myself wholly despite receiving unquestioning trust and confidence from those around me. No amount of external approbation satiated me as I continued to dwell on why I did not fit in, was not smart enough, was not well-spoken enough and generally why I just was not enough. Unconsciously, I was also evaluating myself against dominant leadership profiles, not realizing that my non-conformity was in fact my strength. My lack of self-confidence kept me from reaching higher; I constantly set my own boundaries and told myself that I was not ready, not knowing that there is no perfection, only steady progress.

Thankfully, trusting myself came as a natural byproduct of knowing and being myself. I realized that the more I understood myself, and showed up with my authentic self, the more my self-belief grew. Being in touch with my values, asking for and accepting help, observing my successes as an objective (as much as possible) third party, keeping my promises and constantly expanding my horizons have all led me to this beautiful destination where trust is my default position.

Why is this blog important and why does all this matter?

One of my mentees recently shared how my journey has given her hope and confidence, which spurred me into sharing my experience with others. I want my blog to be meaningful and open dialogue on an important topic. I write this for my peers, some of us late bloomers, who are driven, continue to persevere and are propelled by the conviction that our best days are ahead of us. I also write this for those who are in the early days of their journeys - hopefully my story has shed some important lessons that enable you to accelerate towards fulfilment and success. For everyone (including me), age is just a number, we can be who we want to be when we want to be. All we need to do is to keep striding purposefully as we support each other along life's beautiful journey.

Does my story resonate with you? If it does, you may enjoy the following words of wisdom from one of the best:

Indra Nooyi on the Work-Life debate

Please tell me what you think and share your own experiences in the comments section below.

My first thanks to Akolisa Ufodike PHD MBA ICD.D FCPA FCGA FCCA CPA CFE for his uplifting work, inspiring talks and amazing post on his 50th, from which I drew courage and inspiration for mine.

My thanks to Dianne Balon, CEC, ACC Fiona Nicholson Higher Landing Irene Rogozinski Jackie Rafter, MBA , Janelle Scott, P. Eng. John Rogers Ron Padayas Roop Khroad Tarick Fadel for your motivation, inspiration, guidance and mentorship.