50 Bizarre Queries That IT Support Staff Have (Genuinely) Received

"Have you tried switching it on and off again?"

I know; this suggestion can be a little bit infuriating when you’re on the phone to the IT Help desk.

(Of course we’ve tried?—?do they think we’re stupid or something?)

But this week, let’s look at things from their point of view.

After you read the following 50 (true) questions that IT Support have genuinely been asked, it may explain and indeed excuse, the reason that they sometimes feel the need to state the obvious.

Some of these MUST be a joke?—?right?

Oh Dear!

1. Customer: my computer won’t switch on. Support: is it plugged in? Customer: Erm… hang on a sec *line goes dead.*

2. The computer is saying ‘press any key’ but I’m struggling to find it (the “any” key.)

3. Customer: I may have somehow deleted Windows. Support: WHY? Customer: It was using up too much space.

4. I washed my keyboard and now it’s not working.

5. I need to take the internet home?—?can you put it on a disk for me?

6. What program do I need to use to make a word document?

7. It says ‘Click OK’?—?what shall I do?

8. Support: Restart your computer. Customer: My computer doesn’t do that.

9. Customer: How do I put a CD in my laptop? Support: You can’t?—?you don’t have a CD drive.

10. Customer: my laptop went dead. Support: is it plugged in? Customer: no, it is wireless.

Having an Absolute Nightmare.

11. So, the printer is smoking. What do we do?

12. I need a new screen?—?mine somehow smashed.

13. Customer: I think I clicked on a bad link. Support: Why do you think that? Customer: My computer is covered in naughty pop-ups.

14. My computer kept beeping so I punched it. I might need a new one.

15. I accidentally emailed everyone at work about a personal matter?—?how can I get it back or delete it from everyone’s inbox?

16. I was playing around with the keys from my keyboard and now I can’t remember what order they go in.

17. If I had accidentally spilled my cup of tea over the keyboard, is there any way I could go about fixing it?

18. I got an orange pip stuck in my keyboard, what do I do?

19. My wife through my laptop in the pool?—?is it fixable?

20. There’s something wrong with my laptop?—?I unplugged it and it’s still switched on!

Procrastinating much?

21. How do you say the plural of a computer mouse? Is it mice?

22. Where could I find a video of Justin Bieber?

23. Is iTunes or Spotify better for my computer?

24. How do I log into Facebook?

25. Can you unblock Facebook for a bit?—?just an hour?

26. How do I change my desktop picture?

27. Someone has hacked my computer as a joke and now all the pictures have changed to Nicolas Cage.

28. How many characters can you use to send in a Tweet?

29. I need help?—?my cat ate my mouse! (Hilarious…)

30. HELP! Candy Crush has disappeared from my phone! Seriously, it’s not funny I’ve spent hours getting that high score.

Slightly Creepy.

31. Is there a way to turn on someone else’s webcam from my computer?

32. Help?—?I need to delete my history?—?right now.

33. Can you recommend a good spy camera?

34. Do you get all the feeds from our CCTV? How can I get hold of them?

35. Is there actually a way to hack someone’s Facebook? I don’t want to know what it is, just wondering if it is possible.

36. How can I stop the government reading my emails?

37. My husband is stalking me?—?can you please help me find the evidence to stop him? Click here to read the full (actually quite terrifying story!)

38. Could you tell me all of Lucy’s passwords please? I won’t do anything, just for future reference.

39. I need your help. But I need you to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this first…

Not my job…

40. My car broke down, can you help?

41. The microwave is broken.

42. We need help carrying all the computers upstairs.

43. I was wondering if you could help?—?the toilet is blocked.

44. The lift is broken.

45. Would you mind changing this word doc into a PowerPoint presentation?

46. The bulbs need changing.

47. Can you come over and change the toner?

48. Our electricity has gone down.

49. Could you put me through to Google?

50. Password Problems.

I simply had to include this story from notalwaysright.com! Hilarious…

Support: “All right, I’ve reset your password. The new password is ‘Password123’ with a capital ‘P’.”

Customer: “That didn’t work.”

Support: “Are you sure you typed it in correctly? It’s the word ‘Password’ with only the ‘P’ capitalized and the numbers ‘123’ after. There are no spaces.”

Customer: “No, that still didn’t work. Do I have to type in my username?”

Support: “Yes, you use your same username, and where it asks for the password, it’s ‘Password123’ with the ‘P’ capitalized.”

Customer: “I know; I’m typing in what you tell me but it isn’t working.”

Support: “Are you sure your CAPS Lock is not on?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Support: “Can you tell me exactly what you are typing in as you type it?”

Customer: “p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d-1–2–3-c-a-p-i-t-a-l-p”

Support: “Okay, it isn’t the phrase “capitalp” at the end. The word ‘Password’ has a capitalized letter ‘P’ at the beginning.”

Customer: “Oh! Okay. P-p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d-1–2–3. Nope, that still didn’t work.”

I’m sure they got there in the end…

Click here to check out some more common (and hilarious) queries that IT Support have genuinely received.

Your turn!

If you’ve got any of your own funny IT stories?—?whether you were the customer or on the help desk?—?we’d love to hear them. Just pop a comment in the box below this post.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses?—?there’s no shame in that. (I’ve definitely asked some silly questions in my time).

But the key to having a strong IT support team is to hire people who can deal with every query (silly or sensible) in a professional, friendly and forthcoming way.

At Coburg Banks IT, we meet people like that every day!

If you’d like to read more funny and light-hearted stories like this one, feel free to check out the rest of our “Friday Funnies” blog.