5 Ways Women At The Top Can Challenge Toxic Gender Assumptions

Corporate world is still a man’s world, there’s no doubt we’ve seen a shift but not enough to change at its heart. Despite leadership programmes, gender pay gap reports and more women than ever on the board, the corporate world is still a man’s world.?

This is NOT a blame the patriarchy rant, admonishing male leaders in the corporate world or laying the blame at anyone’s door. This is the state of the nation, despite plans, progress and positive changes there is still a gap to close.?

41 women now in fortune 500 largest companies improving year on year but still only 8% and tend to be smaller companies.

Globally, women make up just 22% of ministerial and parliamentary roles. They take up just 15% of all board seats.

76% of people globally tend to think of men as better suited for careers and women better suited as homemakers.

Within the current framework, it will take 136 years to close the gender pay?gap. This number has been as low as 100 years, yet the pandemic has added another 36 years.

Still a century to create the parity and equality that will move the corporate world to the needed change to adapt to the post pandemic world.?

A foundation of this gap is the gender assumptions that are still rife in the corporate world across the gender spectrum. For example:

• A mum returning to work not being as “committed”, despite her excitement at being back doing what she loves.?
• A new dad wanting to take time to be a stay at home dad for a time, to not miss those precious firsts.?
• A man being feared for the times his passionate assertiveness becomes aggressive, yet all he wants is to get the job done.?
• A woman playing victim and seeing sexism where there wasn’t any as she’s experienced so much before.

To reduce the 136 years closing the gender pay gap, the toxic gender stereotypes need to be challenged. Starting with each one of us individually challenging our own perceptions and beliefs, through to a cultural shift from the top down.

What I would love to see in the corporate world, is employees at all being supported and encouraged to bring their whole selves to work and give that same respect and freedom to others. Letting go of assumptions and stereotypes and instead seeing everyone as an individual.

What is gender stereotyping??

Let’s start at the beginning, with a definition:?

The practice of ascribing to an individual woman or man specific attributes, characteristics, or roles by reason only of her or his membership

For me what it really means is that we are blinded and influenced by our own belief frameworks to leap into assumptions about who someone is, their intentions and their behaviour. Potentially misinterpreting and misunderstanding from our own beliefs rather than the truth.??

This is when stereotyping becomes toxic, we see what we’ve been conditioned to believe, NOT what is the truth. We’re being led by our own drama and not listening to the data.

And the toxicity is also when colleagues feel they need to change how they show up and speak up to be recognised and respected. They lose the hard edges of what makes them brilliant to fit into the organisational leadership model.?

Or when the behaviour becomes extreme, in either masculine or feminine, that it becomes toxic, overdosing on one or the other more than is actually needed. General examples of toxic behaviour include:

• Creating drama out of nothing
• Manipulating and controlling those around them with falsities or guilt
• Being excessively needy
• Being extremely critical of other people
• Blaming everything on bad luck or other factors that allow them to dismiss responsibility
• Being envious or jealous of those around them

Stereotypical characteristics of masculinity:

Assertive

Ambitious

Strength

Independence

Courage

Certain

Logical

Toxic masculinity:

So what is toxic masculinity? Toxic masculinity is more clearly defined than its feminine counterpart.

Toxic masculinity describes the set of traditional cultural norms exemplified by masculine behavior, and the socially toxic ways in which these norms become extreme.

For example, men being so passionate their assertiveness becomes aggressive. Or being clumsy in their language and upsetting someone unintentionally. Or being so independent they don’t let their team in.?

Stereotypical characteristics of femininity:

Tender

Passive

Affectionate

Emotional

Empathetic

Intuitive

Collaborative

Toxic femininity:?

Generally comes from a place of vengeance, anger, and insecurity manifested in cunning, subtle, and controlling behaviors that are socially acceptable. If you know the drama triangle this is being in “victim” mode.?

For example:?

Calling out sexism when there wasn’t any. Assuming you’ve not got the job for political reasons. Changing behaviour in front of a man or a woman or to fit a situation. Not taking responsibility for a mistake but blaming others.?

Being super clear this is NOT assuming all their behaviour sits with one gender or another, OR that?these examples are ONLY men or women. This is what I know my clients and I have seen and experienced.?

The Truth

These are NOT simply masculine and feminine traits, these are NOT toxic in one or other but in stereotypes, assumptions and scenarios that make us change behaviour.?

Across the gender spectrum being too much in one or other is exhausting, fake, disingenuous, imposter, proving. I’ve had clients called out for being “overemotional” or “oversenstive” yet their empathy and vulnerability was a huge super power. Or others investing in golf lessons to be part of those boys’ network conversations.?

We need both to thrive to be the best leader. BEING more feminine traits and energy and DOING more masculine traits and energy.

How to drive this change?

Point 1: YOU do YOU, become YOUiest You – Diversity and equality at its most powerful race, to show up and speak up as YOU. And accept others for their performance letting go of assumptions based on background, heritage, gender.?

Point 2: Develop your style of leadership – Each of us have our own flavour of leadership, so create your own definition with skills and traits you aspire to lead with. An on fire leader will need their own recipe of ingredients from more masculine doing traits and more feminine being traits.?

Point 3: Call out unacceptable behaviour – From top down and at all levels, set up a process to call out ageism, racism, sexism. This is not man or women but about normalising behaviour you want to see in culture and marking out what is not acceptable.?

Point 4: Remove gender stereotypes from leadership roles?– Accept more feminine traits such as intuition, compassion, vulnerability and heart led as impactful as masculine traits of ambition, assertiveness, independence and logic led.?Great leadership qualities – NOT feminine or masculine. Equally valued. REMOVE GENDER FROM LEADERSHIP!

Point 5: Support a cultural shift, – Lead from top down, being aware of your own biases and development structures within recruitment, review processes, succession planning to create a progressive culture and meritocracy.

An on fire leader will need their own recipe of ingredients from more masculine doing traits and more feminine being traits. You will create your own list of ingredients, that is your on fire style of leadership, that is NOT right or wrong but you leading, showing up, speaking up and shaking things up as YOU!??

If you found this useful please share, and here’s my Overwhelm to On Fire: The 5 Minute Head Clearing Checklist for Women in the Corporate World …?just click here to download your FREE copy!

Big love

Nic

Nicola Skorko Website

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