5 Ways to Successfully Navigate a Setback

I'm writing this to you from a mostly horizontal position.

My back went out last week and has gone from "Ouch that hurt," to "Oh shit I can barely move."

The humbling of this has reminded me that life will not always unfold the way you want it to...

I've had spinal issues since I was little. One of my earliest memories is at five years old getting my neck cracked on a chiropractor table.

At one point in elementary school I was making 2 - 3 visits to a chiro every week.

There was that time in high school when I had finally worked up the courage to flirt (keep in mind I had zero game, was 100% shy, and completely self conscious in high school so this was a BIG deal for me) with the cute girl who sat in front of me. Class was ending. We stood up to continue our flirtation and I felt my entire back seize up - it (Not she lol) took my breath away.

I bluffed and told her I had forgotten something. She ran out the door, I needed five minutes to compose myself then eventually hobble out. I was to embarrassed to try flirting again.

When I started working out, it got better. Instead of acting up every couple months, I started to get 6-8 months at a time without incident.

Typically these "outages" left me with difficulty breathing, sitting, walking, and all other movement in general.

In 2011 it got worse.

In 2014 it went out and it took me nearly six months to recover from that one. It was so bad that at one point I could not move - I was frozen in bed. I walked around for about two weeks like Bent Neck Lady from "Haunting of Hill House."

I sought out more professional guidance and expertise. I developed, modified, tweaked, added, and subtracted to what I call my "geriatric routine." This is a series of exercises I do first thing in the morning, typically within five minutes of waking up.

All of this to be said over the last 10 years I've developed a system that has allowed me to manage the various issues/injuries and slowly begin to pursue some of the physical exertions I used to enjoy.

It has been a consistent 2 steps forward 1 step backward 2 steps forward 3 steps backward kind of a journey.

This most recent one came during what, up until that point, had been an enjoyable span on the road to my next milestone - a road where, for the first time, I was beginning to allow myself to set some ambitious physical goals - goals I had not set for many years.

Now I'm lying on my back and rationing water consumption because getting up to go to the bathroom is tough.

Life is going to happen!

Rarely will our goals be as easy to obtain as we would like to think they would be.

Set backs are a part of the journey.

Maybe, as you read this, you are in the midst of a set back yourself. In any case, here are the five essential things I've learned that will accelerate recovery and help you get back on track/on your feet ASAP.

1 - Focus on what you can do vs what you can't:

I could spend hours making a laundry list of all that I perceive myself as being unable to do. Then the time will pass and, at the end of it, I'll feel worse than I did before.

Vs.

Shifting to what I can do (I can write this message to you. I can send those follow up messages I've been meaning to send. I can read a little more. I can work on the Accountability journal.)

2 - Always have a "when I have time list."

Much of our lives is oriented around three things what we need to do, what we should do, and what we want to do. Many of those wants are often cast aside for the perceived needs.

The wants are usually some of your biggest ideas and boldest dreams, but since most of your time is consumed by needs, we rarely can find a moment to focus on the wants.

Transfer those wants to a "When I Have Time List."

The next time life forces you to take a break from your path, that becomes the perfect time to lean into that list and begin to make some momentum with it.

Write the first chapter of your book. Brainstorm your business plan. Organize your college reunion.

3 - Be gentle/kind to yourself

Physical pain hurts. It's part of the healing process. Mental & emotional torment are not required.

Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Affirm yourself regularly. Be your number 1 cheerleader.

4 - Find the humor

It currently takes me about 90 seconds to sit down and another 90 seconds to stand up when I do my #2 business. That can be a lot of things: frustrating, painful, humiliating, etc... Of all those choices, the one that works best for me is for it to be funny.

Laugh at yourself. Find the humor in the situation. Lots of studies out there about the correlation between a positive attitude and healing/recovering/etc...

Give yourself the gift of levity!

5 - Slow and steady

Gentle step after gentle step, compounded over time, will typically get you back on track faster.

Last year one of my clients was experiencing a major set back in their business. Their board was pressuring them to take a hurried action. They were stressed. Everyone was stressed. We all know we rarely make our best decisions with stress.

We took some time to talk things through. We developed a slow and steady strategy with each step being both thoughtful and aligned with their larger mission.

The end result = their business being in a better place than it ever has been + it is fortified for the next time life happens.

Healing, relationships, all of it is typically more successful with a slow & steady approach.