5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser
If you are one of those who fall into the trap of people pleasing always, you must read this for sure:
"For years, I found myself trapped in the cycle of people-pleasing, desperately trying to meet everyone's expectations. (Spoiler alert: It's an impossible feat!)
But here's the truth I've come to realize: constantly striving to please others only leads to resentment and exhaustion. As the old saying goes, you can't pour from an empty cup."
Thankfully, through my journey and experiences, I've uncovered strategies to liberate myself from this draining cycle.
"Imagine living life as a chronic people-pleaser—it's akin to tiptoeing on a tightrope, always on the verge of losing yourself."
Day by day, you find yourself living for others, losing sight of what truly ignites your soul. The price of seeking fleeting approval is heavy indeed.
But here's the truth: prioritizing everyone else's happiness over your own isn't living; it's mere survival.
In today's newsletter, let's embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It's not just about breaking free from the chains of people-pleasing; it's about wholeheartedly embracing your authentic self.
It's about making choices that resonate with your deepest values, desires, and needs, guiding you toward a life of fulfilment and genuine happiness."
?Let's dive into five empowering strategies to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing:
1 Embrace the Power of 'No'
In both professional and personal realms, saying 'Yes' to everything outside of your priorities can derail your focus and drain your energy.
Remember the wisdom of Derek Sivers: if it's not a resounding 'Hell yeah,' it's a clear 'No.' However, in the early stages of your journey, staying open to new opportunities can be beneficial. As you gain clarity on your goals and hone your skills, learning to discern and prioritize becomes essential for your growth and success."
2. Cultivate the Art of Graceful Refusal
Let's borrow a page from Tim Ferriss' playbook and craft a graceful 'No' using this template:
Begin with gratitude for the invitation, acknowledging the opportunity it presents.
Express genuine consideration for the offer, demonstrating that you've given it thoughtful deliberation.
Articulate the reasons behind your decision to decline—whether it's due to prior commitments, impending deadlines, personal boundaries, or a steadfast principle.
Conclude by extending well wishes, expressing confidence in the success of their event or project.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Let's explore a powerful quote that resonates deeply:
"Unspoken expectations breed premeditated resentments." —Neil Strauss
Here's a simple yet effective five-step script to communicate your boundaries:
Begin by asking, "Is this a good time to talk?"
领英推荐
Share your feelings using the structure: "When [specific behaviour], I felt [emotion]."
Clearly state a personal boundary, such as a rule you abide by or a behaviour you won't tolerate.
Explain the consequences if the boundary is crossed: "If [behaviour continues], I will need to [action]."
Conclude with a hopeful note, expressing your desire to find a resolution and maintain a positive relationship.
Remember, advocating for your boundaries is an act of self-respect and empowerment. You deserve to be respected and honoured in all your interactions.
4. Prioritize Kindness Over Niceness
In leadership, it's crucial to distinguish between being 'nice' and being 'kind.'
A 'nice' manager shies away from difficult conversations, avoiding necessary feedback.
A 'kind' manager, on the other hand, courageously provides constructive criticism, prioritizing the growth and development of their team over seeking approval.
Remember, kindness fosters growth and empowerment, while niceness can hinder progress by withholding valuable insights.
5 Embrace the Power of Letting Go
You are not obligated to remain loyal to individuals or organizations that drain your energy or diminish your worth.
Choosing to say goodbye to toxic relationships or environments is a courageous act of self-preservation.
In the pursuit of success and happiness, prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with those who uplift and inspire you.
Conclusion
Start by honing your 'No' muscle in situations of lesser consequence, gradually building your confidence.
Keep in mind, boundaries are not barriers to isolate yourself, but rather gateways to safeguard your mental and emotional health.
Embarking on the journey of breaking old patterns can be challenging, and setbacks are inevitable.
Above all, nurture self-compassion along the way. Treat yourself with gentleness and understanding as you navigate this transformative process.
You can click on the links below to follow me on the Socials for the latest updates or shoot mail to [email protected] if you are interested in knowing about techniques of NLP in deatail during May cohort that would be conducted online: