5 Ways to Spot a Liar

Is it ever OK to lie at work?

When we asked our Twitter followers, a whopping 70 percent of respondents said yes. It made me wonder about the other 30 percent. Have they never lied? Really?

The truth is, we all tell lies. Some lies do more good than bad, like “Honey, you look terrific in that dress!” The measure of a “good" lie is how damaging would it be if the recipient heard the truth. Do people really want to know their haircut looks awful? Probably not.

Other lies should never happen, and we know those circumstances pretty clearly. That’s why lying and deception were such hot-button issues during the 2016 presidential campaign. On Election Day, rather than deciding which candidate they trusted most, voters had to instead decide which candidate had told less-damaging lies.

So, how do you know if someone is telling the truth? Inquiring minds want to know. In fact, this TED Talk on spotting a liar is one of the most-watched of its kind.

Experts have all sorts of ways to tell, but my favorite tips come from this article I came across recently on the American Management Association's website. In it, executive coach Carol Kinsey Goman says there are 20 verbal cues you can listen for to see if someone is lying to you. Here are my five favorites:

1. When people speak the literal truth, they're lying. In other words, when someone says, "I am sorry my statement offended you," they're actually not sorry. They're truthfully sorry that their statement offended you, but not that they offended you. See the difference?
2. Using too many words. People who use 10 times more words than necessary are usually lying. Watch for elaborate details of very mundane events or situations. People who lie are making things up; therefore, Goman says, they’re experiencing a "high cognitive load,” which leads to overtalk.
3. Quasi-denials. Goman points out that these responses don't actually answer questions, but sound like they do. Let's say you ask someone if he stole an item from the office. If he's lying, his answer may be: "Do I look like someone who would do that?" A more truthful answer is simply "No."
4. Qualifiers, disclaimers, and modifiers. You know them quite well. They're annoying phrases like "as far as I know" or "to the best of my knowledge" or "you won't believe this, but ..."
5. Softeners. This one is so prevalent in the office. When people don't want to tell the truth, they use "softening" words to blunt the impact of what they're trying to say. So rather than say "he cheated on this," someone might tone it down to "he made a mistake" or "he mistakenly did this."

While it's nearly impossible that people will always speak the truth at work, there are times when lying is downright inappropriate and unacceptable. One case is when you're about to fire someone. As Jack Welch notes in this video for Radiate, hiding behind distancing language such as "my boss wants me to fire you" is cowardly, and cowardice is Bad Management 101. Watch on for more tips on how (and how not) to let someone go.

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