5 Ways to Shift From High Achiever to Influential Leader

If you are a high potential, new manager or mid-level working manager who is ready get out of the weeds and transform your role at work from doing to leading, enrollment closes today (9/20/24) for my fall women's leadership course, Advance From Doer to Leader !

One of the most common topics that I work on with clients is the shift they endure in transitioning from doer to leader. This isn't just with first time managers. I work with several executives who have risen the career ladder to VP and Chief roles who are still doing work that should be delegated.

This typically presents as burnout. They are overworked and overwhelmed and when we look closer, they are sitting in meetings their direct reports could facilitate. They are intervening in projects when the team isn't following a process they would prefer. They are rushing in to save the day any time they sense awkwardness or discomfort from their employees. And for women, they carry an extra burden of "unpaid work" whether it be through taking meeting notes or handling all the family tasks outside of work.

It's hard to be a strategic, confident leader if you are in the weeds and overbooked. So this week, I've been sharing five ways to make the shift from high achiever to influential leader. All too often, we leave this transformation to chance - thinking that a title change will magically make the new leader comfortable with delegating, coaching their former peers and realigning their work.

5 Ways to Shift From High Achiever to Influential Leader

The Do L.E.S.S. philosophy is one of my most popular frameworks so you can give MORE strategic leadership! So, let's start with the L:

Tip Number 1: L - Lose the limiting beliefs toward why you say yes when you should say no. I find there are four common reasons why we say yes to tasks, projects or people when our best answer would be a no:

1. Achiever Mindset. “If say no, people will think I'm not capable.” Or, they'll think I'm not a high achiever, or worthy of what I've been hired to do.
2. People-Pleasing Mindset. “If I say no, people will be unhappy with me.” Or, I'll make them angry.
3. Responsibility/Caretaker Mindset. “If I say no, people will think I don't support/help them.” Or, that I don't care about them.
4. Perfectionist Mindset. “I'll say yes so you can see me as perfect, but I'll procrastinate on delivery until the “thing” is perfect.”Which one resonates most with you?

My coaching question for you: Could the opposite be just as true? For example: If you say yes, people will be upset with you. (because you've taken on too much and can't follow through?)

Tip Number 2: E - Express Your Expectations & Boundaries. As silly as it may sound to get new results, you have to "teach people how to use you." One way to do that is to set healthy boundaries. This is because when changes happen at work and we are called to show up in new roles, it's tempting to fall back into comfortable old habits. Even our colleagues have to learn to work with us in new ways and with different expectations.

Here's a framework to try:

1. Thank them for the ask that you're happy to do.
2. Share what you're committing to, or what you value.
3. Say what you can accommodate.
4. Reframe it into a question statement for alternatives.

This might sound like: “Thank you so much for bringing this project to me/my team. Right now, we are focused on delivering project ABC by end of month, so we won't be able to accommodate it until then. Does that date work for your or should we discuss who else may able to start work now?”

Next step: Where do you need to set a boundary or expectation? (Hint: Start with something small but it making you feel resentful right now. That is a clue a boundary has been crossed.)

Tip Number 3: S - Shift From Doer to Leader. This mindset shift may be the hardest of all.

What we tend to do as leaders, when things aren't done the way we prefer to do them, is to step in with frustration and give our ego a boost by completing it ourselves. When we “save the day” by taking over the task and reworking it to the way we like it, it might feel better and faster. While our intentions are to be helpful, our need to rescue breeds learned helplessness or victim mentality.

Overwhelmed and overworked, we complain, "we're the only ones who can do anything around here!"

We over function and allow those around us to under function.

Here's one single tip to try: Change your energy from “intervening” energy to “facilitating” energy. Can you pause for just a few moments longer and ask some questions first?Questions like:

• What’s been your current approach?
• What else could you try?

Tip Number 4: S - Start Delegating Low-Stakes Tasks. Often times, people make high impact mistakes because leaders delegate when the stakes are too high. So, the key to breaking this cycle is to start delegating with low-stakes tasks.

When you delegate something to foster development, HOPE there are mistakes. PLAN for them. Why? Because mistakes create the best environment for learning moments. Here are five tips to help you discern what to delegate:

1. Do I need or want to be in this meeting or project?
2. Does my presence add or subtract value for fellow team members also present?
3. Is this still a development opportunity for me? If no, who on my team can lead?
4. Is this an opportunity where a mistake could be a good teaching moment?
5. Is this project using my best skills and talents or better suited for someone on my team?

Try this next: Choose one low-stakes task to delegate to your team, or even at home, this week. If you are nervous about a mistake being made, it's not low stakes enough.Remember, if you want your team to try new things, they must feel safe enough to make some mistakes.

Who do we give lots of work to? High achievers. And high achievers tend to say yes. Many times, we become overworked and overwhelmed, stuck in “doer” mode, because we are still attending meetings that no longer serve us. We sit on project teams when we could get emails from our colleagues. We keep going because we were invited…and so many more reasons. It's time to be smarter with our energy.?

Tip 5: Conduct A Calendar Audit. Take a look at your calendar over the last 30-45 days and ask:

1. What is out of alignment with my values, strengths and unique talents??
2. What meetings or projects no longer require my involvement??
3. What's an energy vampire??
4. Where are my team members present and I could be informed via email?
5. What can I dump, delegate or outsource?

Try this next: Choose one item (work or personal) to dump, delegate or outsource.?

I hope you loved this series to advance from high achiever to influential leader, and I'd love to hear, what's your best tip or advice to others to help make this shift?

If you are a high potential, new manager or mid-level working manager who is ready get out of the weeds and transform their role at work from doing to leading, enrollment closes today, (9/20/24) for my fall women's leadership course, Advance From Doer to Leader !

NOTE: My public courses are for women, however, some of my clients desire to bring this course "in house" and offer it as a workshop to their entire employee base who fall into the high potential, new-ish manager criteria. If you'd like to chat about this option, reply or message me and let me know!

Kelli Thompson is a leadership & executive coach, award-winning speaker and author who is on a mission to help women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She offers executive coaching , leadership workshops and keynote speaking to lead with more clarity and confidence.