5 Ways to Navigate a Breakup When Living Together

Maybe it's been a year, maybe it's been 10 years. Regardless of how much time has passed, breakups don't seem to get any easier. They come with a whirlwind of emotions and a whole lot of decisions to make, especially when finances and other assets come into play. Whether you are married or in a long-term relationship, these five steps can help you figure out the process with a bit more clarity and confidence.

1. Determine Your Relationship Status

The first step is figuring out your legal relationship status. Are you married, in a domestic partnership, or were you in a long-term non-marital relationship? This distinction is crucial because there are different laws that apply to married couples versus those who are not married.

If you're married, the legal process you'll go through is a divorce, which includes specific guidelines and laws about dividing assets and debts, and possibly alimony and child support. If you're not married but in a long-term relationship, you might not have formal legal guidelines to fall back on, but you still have rights, especially if you’ve contributed financially or otherwise to shared assets.

2. Assess Whether You Have Children

If you have children, whether they are minors or adults, this step is fundamental to your breakup process. For minor children, there will be considerations for custody, visitation rights, and child support, regardless of whether you were married or not.

Understanding your legal obligations and rights concerning your children will help you plan accordingly. Custody and support can become complicated issues, so knowing what you’re up against will help you make informed decisions.

3. Inventory Your Assets and Debts

Once you've established your relationship status and whether or not you have children, the next step is to list out all your assets and debts. This includes everything from your home to smaller details like shared bank accounts and credit cards.

Why is this important? If you’re married, the law usually dictates that assets and debts acquired during the marriage are to be divided equitably. However, this can also be true in long-term relationships where one partner has significantly contributed to shared assets, even if those assets are not in their name.

It’s essential to note whose name is on each asset or debt. Is it jointly owned or individually owned? This will help you in understanding what might be up for division and what you might need to advocate for in legal proceedings.

4. Understand Your Legal Obligations

After you’ve taken note of your assets and debts, the next step is understanding your legal obligations. If you’re married, these obligations can include alimony, property division, and child support. If you were in a non-marital relationship, it’s understanding what you might be entitled to despite not having the same legal standing as a married couple.

Even in non-marital breakups, if you’ve financially contributed to a partner’s property—like using your 401(k) to renovate a home—you may have a claim to that property. It’s all about knowing what you’re entitled to and what obligations you might face.

5. Plan Your Next Steps

Finally, the most crucial step: figuring out your next move. Breakups can leave you feeling uprooted, but having a clear plan can make the transition smoother. Are you going to move out, find a new place, or stay with friends or family temporarily? If you’ve been a stay-at-home parent, do you need to find employment now, or is there financial support you can rely on until you’re back on your feet?

Take the time to look at your financial situation, weigh your options, and decide on a course of action that feels right for you. Your next steps may also involve seeking legal advice to ensure you’re making informed decisions.

I know breakups can feel like the end of the world, but with the right roadmap, you can navigate through it more smoothly.

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