5 ways to NAIL your next negotiation.... without spoiling the relationship forever

Negotiations can be tough. Here are 5 ways that you can nail your next one without destroying your relationship with the other side forever.

These tips aren't original - but do reflect things I've picked up over the years that WORK

TL;DR

1. Underlying interests not positions
2. BATNA
3. Let them win too
4. If you, then I....
5. Listen

Let's get into it....

1) Focus on underlying interests, not positions

• If you are arguing for something and the other side doesn't want to give it away, you have two possible outcomes. You win, or they do. There is therefore always a loser. Not ideal.
• So, avoid taking rigid positions and demands and look instead for the underlying interests behind them. Do this by asking "why" a particular position being proposed matters so much. You need us to have a 24x7 presence at a support centre? Why? Because you need to have issues resolved within 2 hours.
• So, are there other ways you can resolve issues for them within 2 hours? Underlying interests encourage creative "third way" solutions (i.e. solutions that neither side originally thought of) where it may be possible for both sides to meet their objectives

2) Have a BATNA

• Your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement can be seen as something of a blunt instrument. But it will be your best friend in a tough negotiation.
• A BATNA is a plan B, and what you will do if you don't reach an agreement with the other side. It's important to have one for both leverage but also to ensure that whatever you agree is better than your plan B.
• If you don't need the deal and the other side believes you have a BATNA, you become incredibly powerful. Especially if they don't have one of their own.
• We all negotiate better when we are not desperate about the outcome. Think of times when you've been directly approached or head-hunted for a job when you already have one. And compare this feeling to occasions when you've gone for an interview when you are currently "between roles". The difference in the way you feel in those two situations, and the difference in the terms you might be able to agree, is the power of having a strong BATNA.

3) Let them win too.

• I don't mean that you should cave into their requirements at the expense of whatever it is that you want. But consider this. We all consider ourselves the "lead-actor" in the play of our life.
• So with this in mind, remember that the concept of ego and saving face are very important in negotiations. When you leave the table after agreeing a deal, the other side is going to have to return to the people they answer to and explain why it is that the deal they have agreed (or the deal they now need to be signed off by them) is a really good one.
• So try and make it easy for them. If you are able to identify "elegant variables" (which are things which don't mean or cost much to you but which are valuable to them) these can then be traded strategically.
• Deals that can't be claimed as a win by both sides typically don't last too long.

4) If you, then I

• Some people's favourite part (and some people's least favourite part!) of the negotiation process is when you get into the trading stage.
• Never, EVER, agree to give the other side something without getting something back in return.
• Simple rule. Stick to it. And the format, if you.....then I.... is perfect for making sure you don't forget.
• Be aware of emotions here. Emotions are powerful in negotiations for lots of reasons - but one specifically when trading. Why? Because if one side uses emotions, they can force you into an equally emotional response making you want to give away a concession without getting anything back in return. Sneaky!

5) Listen Up

• The final piece of advice is to listen. Too many negotiators go into their discussions with their detailed plans - and then only focus on what they want to say.
• Not enough actively listen to the other side, in order to find out if what they assumed they wanted was correct, or whether they actually want things that you'd never considered at all.
• Always give the other side the opportunity to speak. In fact, using silence strategically can encourage people to not only speak, but sometimes also reveal more than they intended to.

These are my top 5 tips to get a great deal from negotiation without killing the relationship in the process.

What do you think?

Do you agree with these?

Have I missed anything?

AVAM Solutions Ltd