5 ways to make it easier to speak up at work

Previously I wrote about the pressure many of us feel to speak up at work. You should be the one to choose when and how often you speak rather than feeling pushed into it by other people. If you want to stay quiet sometimes, that’s OK.

There are times though when you do want and need your voice to be heard. For example, meeting with senior managers you want to impress or when a decision is being made about a project that affects your team.

Those times can be very frustrating if you struggle to think or get a word in edgeways when surrounded by big talkers. Perhaps you beat yourself up for failing to get your point across, or think of a contribution only after the meeting has ended?

Imagine what it would be like to arrive at meetings feeling relaxed, knowing you can speak (if you want to) and leave satisfied with your input.

How to find your voice

Below are suggestions you might like to try if you want to find it easier to speak up:

1.    Prepare remarks and questions

Those of us who are more introverted nearly always do better when we prepare before we speak. That’s because we prefer to inwardly reflect before sharing our thoughts with others.

Preparing for every meeting is time-consuming so just pick the ones where you know you need to make an impact or will be expected to say something. Set aside time – a few minutes might be all you need – to think through what you want to say.

2.    Speak first

If you often sit in meetings listening to people bat words back and forth trying and failing to find a gap to join in, make it a rule of thumb to speak first.

When you jump in first, you don’t need to look for space once the conversation is in full flow.

You don’t have to say anything profound. It’s acceptable to pose a question or raise an idea rather than having a fully thought out answer or proposal.

Once you’ve said your piece you can relax and choose to stay quiet for the rest of the meeting, if you like. But I suspect you won’t want to because when the pressure has gone and anxiety has lifted, talking will become a whole lot easier.

3.    Suggest a brief pause

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need in order to contribute. 

When we’re in a meeting with a bunch of big talkers it can feel difficult to get a word in edgeways. People who are more extraverted prefer to think out loud. When a group includes a lot of extraverts, discussions tend to be lively and quick as ideas evolve. It can be really hard to break into a conversation like that if you need to process and gather your thoughts - preferably in silence - before you speak. 

In those situations, consider asking for a pause. It doesn’t have to be long. A single minute with no chatter can be enough to crystallise your thinking.

It might feel awkward and uncomfortable to ask for a pause but I guarantee there will be at least one other person in the room who feels the same way you do and will respect you for having the guts to ask for what you (and they) need.

4.    Trick yourself

If you regularly go into meetings prepared and determined to speak but it doesn’t happen, consider tricking yourself into it.

You can do that by telling someone in advance – a supportive colleague or the chair perhaps – that you want to be called upon to speak. When you’ve given permission for that person to bring you into the discussion it becomes awkward to decline their invitation.

5.    Be more extravert

You will not hear me say this very often – mostly I’m all about helping introverts tune into their strengths and be themselves rather than trying to be something they’re not.

There are occasions when we all need to flex into behaviours more typically associated with the opposite personality type. For example, some extraverts (and the people they lead) could benefit from listening more.

One of the ways we introverts sometimes make life harder for ourselves is by holding back and not saying anything unless we’ve thought it through to the nth degree and are certain that what we say is ‘right’ or at least makes logical sense. The trouble is, when we do that our ideas get lost. By the time we’ve thought them through the conversation has moved on or the decision has been made.

So my final tip is to let go of the need for thoughts to be fully formed before you vocalise them.

Practice getting comfortable with saying what’s in your head, however messy, even if it feels uncomfortable. No one is going to care if you say something then change your mind or develop your thinking five minutes later. Extraverts do this all the time. Putting a disclaimer in front of what you are about to say can help make it easier to do this. For example, ‘I might change my mind later when I’ve had a chance to reflect but right now what I’m thinking is this…’. 

Over to you

What do you think? Do you struggle to speak up sometimes? Have you tried any of these suggestions? Did they work for you, or not? What else would you suggest?

Join my new Communicate with Confidence programme

Starting in October, I’m running a brand new group coaching programme for people who sometimes find it tough to get their point across and want to improve their ability to communicate with confidence.

If you join you get:

? Two private calls with me to define your focus and review your progress

? Six group calls where you will be coached and supported to tackle specific challenges

? A private Facebook group where you can ask questions, find additional resources and network with other members

The pilot programme is ￡495 (the price will increase next time) and there are only five places.

If you’d like to know more book a free, no-obligation discovery call here or send me a DM.