5 ways to know when to quit

Hello, LinkedIn! Welcome back to A Moment To Think, a monthly newsletter with thought-provoking strategies, insights, and resources that will help you accelerate your professional and personal success.

If we’re meeting for the first time, welcome! You can learn more about me and the work I do by clicking here.

“The time to quit is before you wish you had.” - Kimberly K. Jones

Ponder this…

We’ve all held onto things for too long - relationships, projects, jobs - and most of the time we end up regretting it. We hold onto the last ray of hope, thinking we can make it work, whatever “it” is. Many leaders pride themselves on not being a quitter, and while tenacity is generally an excellent quality, it can also incline you to stick with things that are no longer beneficial.?

The old adage says that “quitters never win,” but that’s not always true. Sometimes the best choice is to cut your losses. I prefer this wisdom from Kenny Rogers: “you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.” Here are five ways to know when it’s time to move on.?

What are the costs of not moving on??

When you’ve invested time, energy, or money into something, it’s hard to walk away. This is due to sunk-cost fallacy, an unconscious bias that causes us to stick in situations that we really ought to quit. We realize that we can’t get back the resources we’ve given, so we persevere, further investing in a project that should be halted or a half-finished book that we’re not into.

The sunk-cost fallacy causes us to worry about what we’ll lose if we move on, instead of the costs of not moving on.

To offset this nefarious bias, you need to deliberately refocus your thinking. Instead of focusing on what you’ll lose, identify what you might gain by cutting your losses now. Will you be happier or have time for another (better) opportunity? Next, assess what it will cost you to soldier on. This could be money, time, energy, well being, or lost opportunities. Weigh these two answers against each other to determine if sticking with your current plan is worth it.?

Does it feel like the choice between persevering and walking away is a close call? If so, recognize that quitting is likely the better choice.

Get clear on what you can control

If you think you’re fully in control of something, think again. We humans have a tendency to overestimate our ability to control events, called the illusion of control by psychologist Ellen Langer.?

This illusion isn’t always a bad thing; it can give us a sense of agency and even promote mental health. However, it can also escalate our commitment to a losing course of action because we believe we can somehow turn it around. When you combine this bias with an “I’m not a quitter” mentality, we are even more at risk of doubling down when we should pull out.

You can gain clarity by making a simple two-column list of what’s in your control and what’s not. Think critically. Often, you can only truly control your effort and your attitude; you can’t force others to change or agree with you. With a written list in hand, you can shift your focus on what you can control and better assess whether your continued efforts are worth the expense.

Expand your self-identity

Research indicates that we link our self-identity and social status to our commitments. Because how we view ourselves is so wrapped up in our commitments, withdrawing from one can feel like a threat to our very identity.

My client, Ryan, is a leader at a technology company. Ryan had invested two years in a design project that wasn’t delivering, but the thought of abandoning it after all her efforts was hard to bear. As Ryan and I explored what she should do, she said, “The thing is, I’m not a quitter.” There it was. This singular, fixed sense of self was clouding her judgment and limiting her choices for action. To break free of these limitations, Ryan needed to expand her self-identity.?

There is more to you than just “not being a quitter.” Ask yourself what additional strengths you have (or aspire to have) that would be helpful to your situation. For example, when I asked Ryan what other positive personal qualities she could leverage in making a decision, she replied, “Discernment and bravery.” Next, examine your situation through the lens of each of these facets of yourself. For example, what does the discerning part of you say? The brave part? Considering your decision through these different characteristics will enable you to see that you have more choices.

Seek out other perspectives

When we have to make a difficult decision, it’s easy to get trapped in your own head. That’s why it’s a good idea to consider outside sources, rather than relying solely on your own intuition. That being said, it’s important to think through whose opinions you solicit.

Ideally, you’ll talk with people who are less invested in your decision than you are. For instance, if you’re thinking of shutting down your entrepreneurial venture, reach out to other founders instead of forming a perspective bubble with your business partner. The less invested the other person is in the decision, the more objective they will be able to be.?

Perhaps the most unbiased perspective will come from hard data that helps illuminate your real chance of success. For instance, sticking with the example of the entrepreneurial venture, numbers are your best friend. Use them to consider your burn rate relative to growth plan, industry growth rates, and other factors that predict start-up success. These external sources of information can help you see angles and possibilities you might not have considered.

Give yourself a break

When something that seemed so promising at the start doesn’t turn out the way we imagined, it’s common to be self-critical. Nobody likes to feel that they’ve made a poor decision. But beating yourself up doesn’t help the situation.?

Instead, give yourself a break and treat yourself as you would a friend. Self-compassion offers numerous proven benefits, including increased resilience, emotional intelligence, and performance. Instead of criticizing yourself, focus instead on what you can learn from this situation. For example, my client Ryan recognized she had developed new skills and leadership capabilities from the design project. Despite ultimately deciding to drop it, she was still happy she had tried and grateful for what the experience taught her.

Undeniably, tenacity can help us succeed. But for your well being, it’s important to learn when to walk away from a losing course of action. While letting go can be difficult, it will free up your time, energy, and mental space to imagine new possibilities and pursue new opportunities.

Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking the "Subscribe" button in the upper right corner of the page. For more articles, tips, and insight, connect with me here!?

For more strategies and insights to help you shine at work, download my Top 8 Recommended Articles here!