5 ways to improve your communication

You’ll probably get sick of me saying this but communication is a skill. No one is just naturally a great communicator (they may have done things subconsciously that have improved their skills) and no one is just naturally a ‘bad’ communicator. However, I do strongly believe everyone can improve their communication skills. And these ways to improve aren’t quick wins. Quick wins might work for one specific thing but if you want to improve your communication across the board, in all aspects, you need to implement long-term thinking and practical strategies in order to do so.

So what I’m going to do is talk through 5 ways to improve your communication that are all evidence-backed. I’m going to talk about each strategy but I’m also going to give you practical exercises in order to actually implement each one.

One of the most frustrating things is when someone tells you ‘Oh you need to improve x’ and you’re sat there thinking ‘But how do I even begin to do that?’

So don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

1. Active Listening

What is it? Active listening goes beyond just listening. It’s about actually engaging with what is being said. This can be shown in ways such as; giving your full attention, paraphrasing/summarising what you have heard, asking clarification questions, reflecting emotions back to the speaker etc.

Why? Research shows that active listening not only enhances understanding but also fosters trust and strengthens relationships. Great communication is all about building relationships so it makes sense that by strengthening our ability to build relationships, we also strengthen our communication skills.

How to improve it? If you’re improving this on your own, find some short interviews to listen to or short podcasts. Listen to it and as soon as it’s finished try to give a summary of what has been said. If you did this once a day for a week, you’d notice a difference in your ability to synthesise information. If you have the opportunity to try this in person, listen to what they have said and reflect it back to them e.g. “I think I’ve heard this…” and ask them whether you’ve understood correctly.

The aim here is not to get it 100% correctly all the time, It’s about building your active listening skills.

Bonus Tip When you feel like you’ve been able to summarise or synthesise information well, reflect on why. What was different about how you were listening? Was it less distractions? Were you doing something different? Getting curious about why something works for you, helps you begin to replicate it.

2. Empathy and Understanding

What? Empathy is thrown around a lot now and I believe, when talked about helpfully, with good reason. Empathy, in short, is the ability to understand and share thoughts, feelings and perspectives of another person. I remember the way I was taught it in school was being able to put yourself in the shoes of someone else.

Why? Evidence suggests that empathy can boost cooperation, increase satisfaction in relationships, and improve conflict resolution.

How to improve it? Some people argue that empathy is difficult to teach and improve. I agree it’s difficult but not impossible. A big part of empathy comes from building self-awareness and engaging regularly in what I’m going to call perspective shifting. Seeking out different people and asking about their experiences etc. is a great thing to do but if that’s not possible for you, here is an exercise. ‘Empathy Journaling’ - After a conversation, write down your thoughts and feelings and then write down the thoughts and feelings you think the other person might have had. Have a look at the similarities and differences. It’s okay if it’s hard, it will get easier the more you do it.

3. Clarity and Simplicity

What? When it comes to communication, we often make it overcomplicated and more difficult than it needs to be (I am SO guilty of this!) Clarity and simplicity are about making sure your communication is understood by your audience as simply as possible. That looks like using simple language, making sure things are structured clearly, avoiding jargon, making sure you have a clear message etc.

Why? Keeping your communication clear is linked to increased productivity and reduced misunderstandings in both personal and professional contexts.

More clarity = less conflict.

How to improve it? One of the classic exercises to improve on this is the elevator pitch challenge. Imagine you have only 30 seconds in an elevator to explain your idea or message. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a pitch but can be a key message or idea you want to portray. Remember, 30 seconds doesn’t mean speaking at the speed of light but being really specific about what you are saying.

Another way of improving this is in your meetings. Start out with a structure of: point, evidence and summary. Each time you come to share something in your meetings, use this structure to help you stay concise and stay on the subject!

4. Effective Non-Verbal Communication

What? Pretty straightforward but this is about communicating messages, thoughts, emotions etc. without verbal language. It has an astonishing impact on how a message can be received. But non-verbal language encompasses a lot of components such as; body language, facial expression, eye contact, gesture, posture, proximity, tone of voice, touch, and appearance. This is not to say that non-verbal communication is more important than your verbal message. It is not. But it helps reinforce and connect your message with your audience.

Why? Non-verbal cues account for a significant portion of our communication. Research suggests that aligning your non-verbal signals with your message increases understanding.

How to improve it? The best way to improve non-verbal communication is to see how you do it. Which means recording yourself. Pay attention to your facial expressions, gestures, and body language. One way of doing this is to play videos back without the sound and just concentrate on your non-verbal communication.

Another way of just getting into the habit of thinking about non-verbal communication is to start to observe others. When watching TV or films, or people in a coffee shop or people at work. Observe what they are saying and how they are saying it. Can you get a thought or a feeling from them without actually hearing what they are saying? Start to think about others and you’ll notice a shift in your own communication too.

5. Seek Constructive Feedback

What? Getting feedback is so important for any skill we want to develop. If we just spend all our time with people who tell us how great we are, we’re never going to improve. However, the type of feedback we get is important. Constructive feedback isn’t just about pointing out faults but looking at the arc of improvement, what things went well and what could be improved on.

Why? Studies highlight the importance of feedback in improving communication skills. Constructive feedback can accelerate your growth.

How to improve it? Look for a person who knows how to give feedback well. Or have a conversation with someone about what good feedback looks like. Kind of like finding an accountability partner, finding someone you spend time with who sees you communicate regularly and agree on a feedback exchange. After interactions, ask for specific feedback on your communication. What did they find effective? Where could you improve? Reciprocate by providing feedback on their communication as well. This mutual process will also make you more aware of communication in general and shift your focus on how you communicate.

Maybe you’re not in a position to implement all of these strategies but even just tackling one, will increase your skills and therefore increase your ability to communicate well.

My one remaining piece of advice is this: get curious. Curiosity about communication means we start to ask questions and think about communication beyond simply what is being said. Start to get curious about how you communicate and interact with others. Getting curious allows you to stop automatic communication that will I’m sure include unhelpful habits and start to shift into purposeful communication. And once your communication starts to be intentional, the effect it can have on your life can be tremendous.