5 ways to be great about setting boundaries with toxic people.

Over the past several years I have posted several articles and quotes regarding “unhealthy” individuals.

When I share something, it’s never done with the intention of seeking validation for my opinion, it’s about receiving contributions from my amazing LinkedIn community.

Almost unequivocally people agree toxic individuals need to be eliminated from our circle of influence to preserve the positive energy required for personal growth and overall wellness.

However, occasionally a good-hearted soul chimes in with compassionate advice aimed at “curing” the person guilty of blame, outrage, hostility, and negativity.

Although I admire their beautiful good nature, serving as a therapist to people who reside in dark places driven by distain isn’t conducive to building a better social circle.

Beware.? Anyone tempted to provide free “counseling” to troubled souls marinating in negativity run the risk of getting “sucked into” a vortex of toxicity.

We can be kind and compassionate and still set firm boundaries with people we know don't compliment our efforts to be extraordinary.

Surrounding ourselves with “bothered” individuals requires tremendous energy at the expense of focusing on more productive endeavors.

Listen, it’s your choice.? However, to be better at making room for personal and professional growth we need to be firm about distancing ourselves from toxic individuals.

“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ― John Mark Green

Here are 5 ways to set boundaries with toxic people:

Identify

By identifying our core values, we clearly understand what guides our decisions and we refuse to let anything interfere with honoring our principles.? I call it our moral compass.? It’s hard to cultivate purpose in life without having direction.? Once we identify what we truly stand for, we won’t tolerate distractions in our efforts to create a purposeful life.? It’s hard to drag toxic people on that journey.? I strongly advise against it.??

Firm

It’s difficult for many of us to be firm.? We are good hearted and saying no feels foreign and creating space may feel “uncomfortable”.? Sometimes it feels like we are doing something wrong.? It’s hard for people at work to set firm boundaries, especially with the “gossips” that love to circulate rumor and innuendo.? However, making it clear we don’t participate in third party conversations is imperative for preventing yourself from getting pulled into these meaningless conversations.? I would rather be a lone wolf than waste precious time having pointless conversations.

“Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” —Hussein Nishah

Limit

We can’t fly with the eagles if we run with the turkeys.? It’s our human desire to “fit in” that compels some people to fraternize with bottom feeders.? We know the damage they can do, so why comply.?? However, no matter how you appease their toxic tendencies these people can never be trusted.? Imagine what they say about you when you’re not around.? We need to limit our contact with negative people that are never happy? In our society, it’s easy to walk away from people that are inconsistent with our “values" once they are defined.???

Cautious

Social media is a toxic dump if we “chose” to lose self-control.? Choosing to engage in every politized argument or offering our opinion on controversial posts may seem fulfilling.? However, we leave a trail of digital evidence every day that can be positive or negative.? I choose positive every time.? We will never win an argument with somebody that has strong opinions and no emotional intelligence, let alone the ability to think critically.? Emotions are driving the discourse on social media, and I stay away.? It’s a waste of time and valuable energy.?

Decide

We ultimately need to decide.? Are we going to spend our time attempting to “convert” people that are wounded and direct their animus at others?? I understand it feels right to intercede with love and compassion.? We can set boundaries and still be empathetic.? However, that doesn’t include surrendering our values to appease complicated personalities.? I prefer to leave the “fixing” to the professionals.? My experience with toxic people, they pull you in.? Don’t even take one step in that direction.? We ultimately decide who we get to surround ourselves with. ???

“Let go of negative people. They only show up to share complaints, problems, disastrous stories, fear, and judgment on others. If somebody is looking for a bin to throw all their trash into, make sure it’s not in your mind.” – Dalai Lama

Sum it up.

Any other suggestions for setting firm boundaries with toxic people?? Share your thoughts in the comments section and please like and share this article. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.?? Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming.? Steve is an author and host of the podcast program Anatomy of Success.? Reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn.? Learn more about my work and grab the free Weatherology mobile app by clicking any picture in this article!