5 ways to deal with manipulators
Rick Weaver
Award-winning Senior Recruiter | National Talent Acquisition Specialist in Executive Search and Management Recruiting
You'll never have life without manipulators, but you can enjoy life and work much more when your manipulators are under control. Bob was very effective in dealing with Kmart’s chief manipulator. Bob’s reward: the manipulator left him alone, targeting other people.
Here are some very effective ways to deal with the manipulators in your life:
1. Don’t give into threats.
Manipulators love to make threats. You cannot allow the threats to be successful, so defuse all threats immediately. I will always remember seeing Bob slowly turn in his chair to call the CEO when Kmart's manipulator had threatened him.
2. Know the facts.
Before going into a meeting with the manipulator, be sure to get all the facts. Have charts and graphs to present should the need arise.
3. Make them a part of teams, but with limits.
Include manipulators in your special teams. Although they will be likely to blame others when things go wrong they will not be able to blame the team’s work as a whole -- they are part of the team and no manipulator will ever point blame in their own direction.
4. Have a great monitoring system.
Stay in constant contact with all of his people. Share problems and mistakes as soon as possible. Be confident your system will become your best advocate. You will never fear reprisals.
5. Ask them for solid details.
When the manipulator makes claims for which you're unprepared, ask for as many details as possible. Many times, the manipulator will have no details available at all due to their common practice of speaking without facts. This will quickly expose their excuses.
This is an excerpt from “Life’s Leadership Lessons” a collection of 53 anecdotal leadership lessons, each with an anecdote and the application of the topic in your everyday life. It is designed for use in weekly staff meetings or for personal development.
About the author:
Rick Weaver has half a century’s experience in leadership development in retailing. He founded Max Impact Corporation, a leadership and business development consultancy company in 2002. His major accomplishments include working himself from stock clerk to director at a Fortune 50 retail chain and building a $40MM+ construction company in under 5 years. Today he works as an Executive Search Consultant matching management talent with the job culture for which they are uniquely wired.