5 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Others

Lessons from my Mentor

My conversations with my mentor, always tend to centre around matters relating to personal and professional growth. Even amongst the many things we talk about, I always find myself reflecting with gratitude on our 12-year journey together. He has played such a significant role in my life and lessons from him are an immeasurable gift. 

I’d like to share them with you as a demonstration of the effect we can have on others. When we all make an effort to invest in people and their growth, we will one day stand in awe of the fruit those little seeds produce. 

So read on and share these 5 tips. You never know who you may be helping out. 

1) Believe In Them

My mentor saw my potential before I did - he led, mentored and coached me at the level he knew I was capable of achieving, even if I didn't yet realise it myself. 

We all have self-doubts from time to time. Having someone believe in you is priceless, and can help you take one step forward. 

Key take-out: See the highest potential in others - treat them that way, lead them that way, take them to where you know they can go

2) Challenge Them

Throughout the various communications and employee engagement projects my mentor always challenged me to go a level deeper, to strive for excellence, and to always do better each day. For example, to write better, to connect with people and to capture the essence of what they were thinking and feeling, to be an advocate for those whose voices have not been heard.

Key takeout: In encouraging a strive for excellence - Walk the journey with people

3) Tell The Truth

Transparency goes a long way in building and maintaining trust and strengthens your credibility as a leader. A lot of the time people think that telling the truth can be seen as harsh or mean. But as a leader telling the truth is so essential. People always want to know where they stand, they want to know what they can improve on, or how they can do something differently. When someone tells me the truth I intuitively know the intent and safely assume that they have the best of intentions.

One of the things I also loved (and still love) about my mentor is the way in which he delivers feedback. For good work he acknowledged you publicly. And for work that needed to be better, he would always have the conversation privately. 

Key take-out: Celebrate publicly; Reprimand privately 

4) Give Of Yourself And Of Your Time

As a busy executive, my mentor operated with a limited amount of time he was always on the go. Despite this he would always make the effort to be available. I knew my role mattered and he was always interested when catching up on what I was working on. In addition to being generous with his time and attention; he gave of himself in a way that helped me grow. He was always willing to share his own vulnerabilities, lessons and challenging experiences. When you share from your learnings and give of your time — you increase empathy, become more approachable and relatable to others, and make an impact that is lasting. 

Key take-out: “The best life is when we leave a trail. We leave something on this earth bigger than us.” — Viola Davis

5) Listen, and listen more

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost distinguishable.” - David Augsburger  

As a leader who possessed an insatiable curiosity, my mentor spent more time listening than talking. Truly listening, creates an environment for people to do their best thinking. And if our thinking is good, our decisions are good, our actions are good - and therefore our outcomes are good.  

So how did my mentor cultivate an environment that allowed for people’s best thinking to take place, just from being a great listener? I love the framework which Nancy Kline provides:

Attention - he genuinely showed interest in me and what I had to say; and demonstrated respect by listening without interrupting.  

Equality - he treated everyone as peers, no one was above or beneath him, he made sure that all voices around the table were heard. 

Ease - he always managed his internal anxiety, and so what projected onto others was a sense of calm; he never encouraged rushed thinking because he knew that this would affect the quality of his and others’ thinking. 

Appreciation - he always offered genuine acknowledgement for the person first, before their performance; and spent more time praising and less time criticizing.  

Encouragement - he was always encouraging me and others to go towards the cutting edge of our ideas and was a cheerleader from behind. 

Feelings - he always allowed a safe space for feelings and emotion; he held the space for people to feel safe while doing so, and knew that the release of feelings would allow people to reconnect to purpose and meaning 

Information - he always worked off facts and data and drew on the strengths of others to shape an informed view of a situation; he never allowed himself to be drawn into the drama of things 

Difference - he welcomed and cultivated an environment for divergent thinking from diverse group identities; for example, gender, culture, religion, age, etc. 

Incisive questions - as I mentioned earlier, he removed assumptions, and asked questions that allowed others to think clearly, creatively, and for themselves. 

Place - whether it was physically or virtually, he ensured an environment was created for people to know that they (and their inputs) mattered; for example, meeting agenda, meeting structure, engagement process etc. 

If you’re wondering who this incredible mentor is, his name is Lincoln Mali - incoming CEO of Net1, and previously Standard Bank Group executive. I have had the honour and privilege of calling him my leader and mentor for the past 12 years, and am so grateful that we can continue this relationship of reciprocal learning and growth together. I believe that all of us have the ability to #leadlikeLincoln - and more. It starts with surrounding ourselves with people who inspire us, and by willingly applying the principles and lessons shared in this article. 

Here’s how you can follow Lincoln: 

www.leadershipconversations.co.za 

Linkedin 

Instagram 

Facebook