5 Ways to Banish the Guilt Monster

Found yourself feeling guilty lately? Ugh.

Guilt is a serious pest. It has us worrying about letting people down, fearing we’re not doing enough and trying desperately to keep control. Guilt is an unwinnable game, and it really flares up when we don’t meet our own unrealistic expectations.

Women are particularly bothered by guilt. In the last 24 hours, 95% of women have felt guilty at least once! High performance women feel pressure not just to be amazing, but to do it invisibly. We don’t want people to see us struggle, so they have no idea how stressed and tired we are.

We run an invisible list behind the scenes to keep up the fa?ade, which means many of the things we worry about aren’t visible, aren’t asked for, and aren’t valued. We don’t see anyone else’s invisible list either, so we get the twisted idea that we’re the only ones not keeping up.

Guilt is internalised torture. It’s not a productive emotion that motivates us, it’s a drain that holds us back from our potential.

Unless we give ourselves permission, dispense of apology and channel our energy with care, we do the world a disservice. It’s time to tackle guilt, change our story and shine a light on our invisible list.

5 tips to tackle guilt

1. Acknowledge that everything is more likely to turn to shit than not, and focus on celebrating the great. Nothing worth doing is done perfectly.
2. Own your choices - chances are you made them for a good reason. Stop gaslighting yourself out of your own agency and trust your own instincts.
3. Get perspective - very little of the things we worry about matter. Most stuff doesn’t. Will you care about this in 3, 6 or 12 months time? Probably not.
4. Let go - give other people’s feelings back. Don’t decide how they feel on their behalf. People have the ability to respond, and when you turn up with integrity and authenticity, you respect their ability to do so.
5. Be your own best mate - talk to yourself like you would speak to your best friend. Try saying some of those terrible thoughts out loud to others, and see how it feels. Not good? Then stop thinking it.

For a set of free templates and tools you can use to banish guilt - and other annoying emotions, like frustration, distraction, conflict and overwhelm, too - check out this FREE 22 page PDF workbook. It's packed full of useful insights to help you get your sh*t together.