5 things you can do to help get unstuck from a rut

“Feeling stuck, overwhelmed or impotent can often be a result of the feeling that we are not heading in our own direction and that we have become responsive and directed by the desires and directions of those around us”

Life throws various challenges, complications and unexpected dilemmas our way, at times on a daily basis. How we deal with these challenges comes down to us as individuals, our environment and the experiences we have had throughout our lives. As humans, we often ‘project’ that other people do not have the same problems that we do, deal with them in a much better way and cruise through life in a more fluid and higher gear than we often feel we do.

It is important to remember that these beliefs are often projections. We do not really know how others deal with their ‘stuff’ behind closed doors and also what they may feel internally, despite what might be seen or said externally. So, if you have off-days, feel overwhelmed or stuck in a rut, you are not alone. The choice we have is whether we choose to stay in this uncomfortable space or take action to shift away from it, learn from it and take charge of our circumstance and direction.

1.     Alter your Environment

It might sound simplistic but by becoming consciously aware of our environment can be crucial to helping us change the way we feel. Our brains are like submarine sonar systems, constantly scanning and evaluating the environment for threat and things that may cause us harm. Once upon a time this would have been necessary for survival, predators and so on but today we are more likely to be harmed from the double cheeseburger we’ve just chowed down than man, woman or beast coming to attack us. Our brains still work with this ‘simplistic’ goal and our predators are showing up in different forms. 24 hour news and social media are amazing at alerting us to 24hr negativity and threat throughout the globe and the repetition of this exposure can very quickly overwhelm us as though the disasters, violence and general no-hopery that exists within the media were happening directly to us. Another addition to environment includes the company that we keep, who we have regular ‘exposure’ to and their impact on us. Are your friends and family rooting for your cause, metaphorically high-fiving you and giving themselves to you in an unconditional way? Often people feel overwhelmed and hopeless if the people they directly surround themselves are equally feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. Negativity breeds negativity and it may actually be of another persons ‘benefit’ for you to remain stuck in a rut so it colludes with their own expectations and beliefs about themselves. It’s worth taking a long hard look at the impact of the company we are keeping.

2.     Exercise today

It has been well documented for a very long time about the psychological benefits of exercise. Exercise has a direct impact upon neurotransmitters and mood regulation and releases endorphins amongst many other mood altering, pleasure seeking goodies. Regular exercise can have huge benefits on mood stabilisation and is often advised as a treatment for depression. Not only does exercise get all the brain juices flowing but it also gives us a strong sense that we are regaining control of the steering wheel and that we are taking action. This is important because having a sense of control over our destiny and experience is often the first step towards driving ourselves out of a rut.

3.     Say no

Sounds simple but many of us have great difficulty in feeling ok about saying no. Feeling stuck, overwhelmed or impotent can often be a result of the feeling that we are not heading in our own direction and that we have become responsive and directed by the desires and directions of those around us. We may have failed to communicate our own desires and needs and repeatedly opted to please or satisfly the other. The end result can be that we are constantly at the bottom of our own ironing pile, never getting to the top so we can have the much needed sense of self satisfaction and fulfilment. At work it is extremely important to be able to say no if we are being ‘invited’ to work beyond what we are paid, agreed or is manageable. With friends and family we also need to understand the power of ‘no’ at times when we are being invited into distractions, psychological games, inappropriate ‘rescuing’ scenarios and also when pressure and expectations do not meet our own goals, wants or wishes. Saying no is not selfish, it’s about setting healthy boundaries and letting others understand that these are my limits, these are my rules.

4.     Break the ‘rules’.

Many people do not realise that they live their lives to other people’s rules on a day to day basis. Rules come in the form of life and family scripts. We are unconsciously programmed at a very early age by parents and figures of authority about the rules of life. These rules can come in many different forms and are the unconscious permissions we have about our lifestyle and life choices. For example, one family may have a typical working class background going back over a number of generations. This background may provide rules that all male family members must continue to work in industry and that further or higher education is not acceptable and reserved for people of a different part of society. These beliefs and expectations may act as unconscious rules so that a teenager leaving school does not have ‘permission’ to head over to university and so on. If we can gain an understanding about the rules set for us, often before we are even born then we have the opportunity to change direction, live life to our true destiny and halt the process of living life to other people’s expectations, whether they agree or not.

5.     Write down/journal/plan

Put your plans in writing. Whether you decide to go to the gym, eat healthier, speak to a financial advisor or career planner put it in writing and schedule it. We spend and waste so much time thinking about doing things without ever taking the necessary steps towards achieving them. We wait for tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. By making best use of a journal or diary then we again take action over our plans, empowering us to finally set the date, meet the advisor or sign up for that course. It’s the moments of decision that can change the course of our everything. Plan it!