5 Things to Stop Saying Immediately

Welcome to the Emotional Mastery Newsletter with Moksha Grace Coaching.

A weekly newsletter bringing you new perspectives and shining a light on some common missteps and limiting beliefs that hold us back on our path to emotional liberation.

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If you’re just getting to know me, my name is Michelle and I am an Emotional Liberation Coach.

I guide clients through releasing limitations and learning to work with their emotions so that they can show up more fully in every area of their lives.

My goal for this newsletter is to start shifting your perspective on the words you use.?

Your life, the world, and people will respond to you differently when you begin using different words.?

There's a quote: “You must be mindful of every word you speak. Once they leave your mouth, you can't take them back.”

Same thing with actions.?

Are the words you’re using aligned with who you are as a person? Are the words you’re using presenting you in the light that you want to be presented??

When I was in corporate healthcare, there was a specific word that whenever mentioned, everyone looked to me to see my reaction. This word - allow - was not part of my vocabulary. It insinuated that someone else had the authority.

When it related to your own body or your loved one lying in a hospital bed, the word “allow” did not sit right with me. Phrases like “visitors are allowed to visit the patient” or “the patient is allowed to listen to the doctor-nurse huddle” were never to be said. These were inherent rights of the patient (or should be, as much as regressed since my time in healthcare), not something to be “allowed”.?

One could argue that it was “just a word”, but as I spent every day fighting to maintain patient rights, it meant far more.

So we have to look at the words that we use and the actions that we're taking.

What do the words mean? What are they saying? What are you putting out there??

Every word has energy behind it. As with everything else, what you put out is what you receive in return.?

The more negative words you use, the more negative you will notice. The more positive, the more positive you will notice.

As such, let’s dive into five phrases you need to stop saying immediately.

1) “I am in pain.”

Are you in pain or is a particular area of your body in pain??

For example:

“I’m in pain.” → “There is pain in my back.”

“I’m in pain.” → “There’s a pain in my tooth.”

“I’m in pain.” → “I am experiencing/feeling sadness.”

This distinction is critical to help you move through ailments more effectively. By separating “you” from “pain”, you’re providing your mind with a quicker response to deal with the pain.

And so a way to help you, help your mind, help your heart understand the difference of that would be I feel pain in my back. My pain is in my back or the pain is in my back would be even better.?

For those of you who suffer from chronic illness and chronic pain - YOU are not the pain. Your body is feeling the pain.?

2) “I have [illness/disease/cancer/etc].”

My daughter is a cancer survivor. She was three when diagnosed and has been cancer-free for 26 years. We’re actually celebrating her 29th birthday this upcoming week!?

When she was first diagnosed, a wonderful nurse, Cheryl, said to me: Christa is here, yes? She's getting chemo, yes? She's battling, yes? Then she is already a survivor.?

So all of you reading that are experiencing a health condition, you are a survivor.?

Not in the future. Not when treatment is done. Not when you get your transplant or surgery.

Right now.

These little tweaks may seem small, but to the mind, they make a massive impact.?

3) “It’s my fault.”

As an alternative, try on: I played a part in that and I take responsibility.?

Which one sounds more empowering??

[P.S. If you can’t find how you played a part in the situation, it’s DEFINITELY not your fault. That might be something for us to explore on a coaching call.]

4) “I expected more from [person].“

I hear this a lot from my clients, friends, and family.?

It comes up in so many different situations and is something I am sure we’ve all said at some point.

Here’s the thing…

We know who we are and what standards we have set for ourselves, but we can't assign those standards to others.?

We can't expect somebody to be or do something because we're not them and we're not in control of them.?

The only thing that we have control of is our response to situations.?

You can certainly observe and make a mental note when someone doesn’t meet your standards, but it’s not their responsibility to live and act as you do or expect them to.

5) “I’ll try to…”

Throw out the word try. Throw it right into the garbage.?

You're either doing or you're not doing.?

“Trying” is half-assed behavior, let’s be honest.?

We’re all adults here. It’s time to stop trying and start doing.

And don't try to give up “trying”. Give it up. Be about it.

We only ever have our word.?

If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you say something, mean it.?

Pay attention to the feelings and energy behind the words you’re using.

Are the words you’re using aligned with who you want to be? Are they aligned with your future?

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