5 Things I've Learned from Taking a Social Media Break

In February 2022, I decided to take a full break from social media for 30 days.

This turned into a 9 month's break…and it was accidentally the best decision I made for myself.

First, some context:

As a D.E.I. (DEI) and HR Leader, I found myself called to social media, not to get more exposure but to give more exposure to the work itself, in an attempt to help me understand how to get beyond what I have long-called “ DEI on a shelf” work and into work that actually moves the needle in organizations to actually be equitable and inclusive and not just say that they are.

I was in the habit of posting regularly and then 2020 happened. And transparently, I convinced myself that I had a responsibility to share more, be more present, and do so on a daily basis even on the days that I was so tired of the news and what was happening in our world that I wanted to cry and crawl up in bed and pretend like the absolute madness didn’t exist.

But I didn’t pretend. And I stayed posting daily, hoping that if I did so one of my daily posts would reach more leaders, more companies, and there would be more meaningful change.

Now, do I believe that some people changed as a result of what I shared? Yes.

Do I believe it was worth my tears and writing on a daily basis? I’m not so sure.

And so I’ve spent the last 9+ months, reflecting on that last question, working to understand why my 30-day break turned into almost a year away and as I come back, what it means for how I will show up in this space going forward.

5 Things Being Away Has Given Me the Space to Do:

1. It’s given me space to not be seen as just one-dimensional

When you begin posting about a topic that you have a lot of deep passion for, that's your actual work, it can be really easy to get sucked into a space where it’s the only thing you’re known for.

I found that because of my passion for posting about DEI and anti-racism work, this became the only perspective that people wanted to hear from me. I was reduced to a single dimension of my multi-dimensional identity and it was frustrating. Yet, I continued to let it happen because all of the tips and tools say you’ve gotten to be known for a certain topic or space.

Taking time has allowed me to decide that I want to be known for being human and not just for DEI tips and perspective.

2. It’s given me space to not have an opinion

Anyone who knows me personally or gets to work with me directly will tell you that I have an opinion….about everything.?

But on social media, my platform became a space where anything unjust, racist, or inequitable would happen, a core center of my audience would literally tell me they were waiting on me to share my opinion first before they shared theirs. And while I deeply appreciate that level of confidence in my voice and perspective…good grief the pressure to always have one and share was overwhelming.

Being “silent” has given me space to not be needed for my opinion…and it is my hope as I return that I find more individuals who released me and other thought leaders as their anchor for an opinion…and are simply sharing their own.

3. It’s given me space to limit the amount of trauma exposure in my inbox

In a similar vein, I found myself subjected, without permission, to a high amount of racial-traumatic posts in my inbox and my email. People would be quick to share with me the latest video of a Black man being beaten by police for no reason, the latest 'Karen' yelling at an individual with a disability, and even worse, their OWN personal stories to explain to me how they themselves were not racists.?

As a result, I grew to despise seeing that I had a message waiting for me because I wasn’t sure what I was going to be exposed to when I myself may have not been emotionally ready to process this. And even now, I’m not sure that I’ll be actively encouraging people to dm me openly as a result.

It is my hope that people have learned that trauma-related posts are not something that I want to experience much less than giving an opinion on. The trauma I experience as a Black woman doing this work is quite enough for me.

4. The space to learn and grow in my work

I believe in continuous learning in all aspects of my life, including work, and I found that the daily grind of posting daily left little energy for me to go deeper in my own learning or to even step back and document learnings that I was having with my clients so that I can share them with others. 9 months away has given me space to not only study how to shift away from the daily grind of churning out content going forward but more importantly, it’s given me more headspace to go deeper with everyone whom I work with.

I return to platforms like this one ready to share with you the learnings that came from going deeper…and some scars too.

5. The space to be human

In the spirit of not being seen again as one-dimensional, I’ll be sharing more of this going forward but in short, in the time that I took a break, I settled into life as a new homeowner, got married, and very soon, will give birth to my first child. I definitely wasn’t just hanging out and avoiding social media :) and honestly, it gave me space to lean into embracing all of these new dimensions of identity that I added on in 9 months' time. I’m excited to share more of myself, in ways that feel right for me.

Now, I am advocating that you also log off and not return for 9 months too?

No. Nor is the post to shame those who are continuing to post and share daily.

However, I encourage you to question what gift it might give you to even pause just for a moment and allow for your voice to be heard in spaces offline vs. online.

You never know what gift it might give you back….and how you’ll return to your online community as a result.

-Dynasti

I’ll Be Back on Tuesday mornings here weekly in 2023.

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