5 things I wish we would all be more honest about

5 things I wish we were all more honest about...

If I had to sum up the work that I do with Searching for Serenity then it goes beyond burnout and imposter syndrome, beyond thriving or drowning at work, time management and toppling to do lists.

It comes back to truth. The whole truth. Even when it hurts.

You see, if we all told the truth then I don't believe imposter syndrome would exist. We would be able to take the words of others at face value, instead of importing meaning into them.

I think if we were more honest we wouldn't burn out as easily, because we would be more open about being under an increasing to do list, and we would have more meaningful conversations with the people that matter about why we were struggling and how to effect change.

After 3 years of leading conversations around what it takes to thrive at work I believe that my single most important role is to tell the truth, even when it hurts (me, you, the bullshit rules

that keep us all divided) and to lead with openness and honesty.

It's my greatest dare, to keep showing up and sharing honestly, when others sell a fur coat and no knickers version of the truth, all flash and glamour and no real substance underneath.

So here's 12 things I wish we were all a little more honest about....

1 - How we're truly feeling. I start each week's training in The Resilience Academy with 'how was your day on a scale of 1-10' because it gets my clients back to the simple yet complex matter of 'how do I feel, and how does that make me feel?'. For years I spent my time assuaging others' worry with a hair flick and an 'I'm fine'. I said I was tired when I meant down, I needed a holiday when I meant I needed a complete break... and as a result my isolation and fear only grew.

We need to have more honest conversations about how we feel, even if the response is 'kind of anxious and down today, but glad I'm talking to you'

2 - How many hours we're working.

I'm currently going right back to basics with tracking my working hours and drawing clearer lines between work and non-work time, for the simple reason that what you pay attention to improves over time. I want to grow and improve my business therefore I need to focus more on what I'm doing, when and how often.

But unless we pay attention and then discuss it with others, how do we know where we stand? I was recently told that the average working week in the UK was 42.7 hours long, which shocked the hell out of me. For nearly a decade my working week was between 60 and 80 hours and I thought everyone else did the same or more than me and that I simply wasn't keeping up. A little more honesty and transparency would have changed so much of the conversation around work and aspirations.

3 - How much we're earning.

I know the annual salaries of just about none of my friends and almost never knew the salaries of my colleagues. Why are we so secretive about it?

How do we expect to negotiate for more, close the gender pay gap, and even get clear on our worth if we can't have honest conversations with the people around us about how much we earn and more importantly, why.

On a more personal note, the smoke and mirrors employed in the online business world absolutely kills my enthusiasm for showing up there. If I see one more person claim they are a 6 figure coach with no clients to show for it, month on month business growth metrics with no context to ground it in or some variation of the smoke and mirrors/flashy things for magpies/misdirection and sleight of hand I'm going to scream.

4 - How satisfied we are with what we're doing

This one is tricky because, for most people reading this, dissatisfaction is somewhat of a way of life. Not enough money/time/sleep/reward/hours in the day is the name of the game and asking for more than that seems somehow selfish and trivial.

But it's absolutely the name of the game if we want to step it up and stop feeling this way. It takes a clear sighted appraisal and ruthless culling of what is in our lives in order to make room for what is truly important and create meaningful growth.

It also requires us not to be taken in by the flashy tinsel that other people flicker at us and, in the words of one of my clients, to tend our own grass instead of focusing on what's the other side of the fence.

5 - What it truly takes to effect meaningful change

This is the one that riles me the most on the list, threats to scream at flashy gits notwithstanding.

Multiple times a day I'll see sponsored posts and adverts pop up on facebook, instagram, even on linkedin, suggesting that the resolution to our problems can be found in a simple checklist or hack or free meditation.

It's all kinds of bullshit.

Now that's not to say that it takes deep deep work, or that it's out of reach or unmanageable.

Because the truth is in the deeply unsexy truth that, it takes daily work, multiple times a day most often. It takes us paying more attention, making small but meaningful adjustments as we go, coming back to what we truly want again and again.

Like a garden filled with weeds, it's not about razing it all the ground and being done forever. You can do that, and you will clear the decks for a while... but you can also guarantee that the weeds will grow back without regular attention.

It doesn't mean that you need to quit your job and go full time weeding, that would be madness, but showing up on a regular basis, clearly appraising the situation and taking the action to put it right is what it takes.

If there was a pill, or a one hit fix, I'd give it to you.

There isn't.

And anyone who sells a solution based on their course, their 1:1 or their single outcome, is selling a lie.

My job is to tell you the truth.

And to keep helping you come back to the truth.

To assist you with the tools and resources you need in order to focus on the truth and clear a path.

And the truth is, that it can change in a moment of choice, but it will be the daily work that becomes second nature over the course of your life.

Fail to implement it, and the weeds will grow back.

Keep taking action and not only will the weeds dissipate... everything else you want will flourish.

That's why I keep showing up and sharing the truth.

That's why I'll never apologise for selling books, courses, masterclasses, monthly mastermind courses, more content every single day. Because it's not about a one size fits all solution.

It's about providing as many resources as possible to help you make the daily work something that is as part of your soul as it is mine.

PS Over the past 3 years I have provided dozens of courses, hundreds of hours of videos and audios and hundreds of days of daily content.

Earlier this month I bundled up 6 of my favourite courses from the past 3 years, that provided 3 months of daily content, over 300 minutes of videos, and offered them all together at 85% off, as a celebration of the 3rd birthday of Searching for Serenity.

This weekend I decided to bring the bundle back, for 48 hours only, and add an extra special bonuses for everyone who bought a copy (both this weekend and earlier this month).

You can now access the 3rd Birthday Bumper Bundle and receive a 1 hour 1:1 session, worth 5x the value of the bundle, as a bonus.

You will also receive:

The Resilience Masterclass

The Reconnect with your Career Masterclass

Give up Stress for Lent 28 day course

Confidence Cure 28 day course

Planning for Success Masterclass

The Happiness Habit Bootcamp 14 day course

There were only 10 copies of the bundle available, due to the 1:1 element, and only 8 remain available to purchase. The purchase link will disappear at the end of the day on Monday, or once bundle 10 is sold, whichever happens soonest.

Click here to grab your copy of the bundle before it sells out today!