5 Things I Learned in 10 Years in Asia

When I moved to China nearly a decade ago, I remember the most important item that I had on arrival was a piece of paper scribbled with some small Chinese characters. I remember it being quarter-sized.

The paper contained my home address on Chegongzhuang street. If I lost that paper while out in the city at night, I would have been unable to communicate, relatively penniless and completely lost.

I never did lose it, but I soon gained an incredible respect for the type of individual referred to as "Old China Hand," someone who had immersed themselves in China to the point of having superior knowledge of the language and culture.

An Old China Hand - people like Tim Clissold, also known as Mr. China - who I read, learned from at conferences, and wrote about, was what I yearned to be in the summer of 2006.

This January 2015, I'm reflecting on what I learned in Asia, what I didn't, and whether it was all worth it. I'm not an Old China Hand, but I'm closer to being an Old Asia Hand -- if that exists -- having lived and worked in China, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. If you've ever pondered a move to Asia, exploration of the market here, or just want to leave home behind, this is written for you:

1) You probably won't strike it rich in China, but maybe your kids will. First you read the papers. Which is nothing compared to seeing the vertical buildings going up as far as the eye can see. You talk to local entrepreneurs. You find the business blood within. And you go for it. Will you always treasure your experience? Yes. Was it the best time of your life? Possibly. Did you strike it rich? No. I once remember hearing during an American Chamber of Commerce in China event that it took decades for some of the first multinationals in China to turn losses around. For the average enterprise, it isn't any easier. Cultural barriers are thick. Regulatory barriers for certain enterprises are thicker. The country's billion consumers are elusive. I spent half my time dreaming of how to legalize my enterprise. But in the process of living in Asia, I had a daughter. She speaks two languages at 2. She's working on others. She smiles and sings to everyone in the neighborhood. She's got guanxi -- or connections -- so to speak. I'm sure I'll be amazed when she's 32. I always thought of myself as a first-generation immigrant to Asia. I look forward to seeing what the next generation can do.

2) Make money where it doesn't matter. When I first went into business in China, my primary business -- a now-defunct media portal called bizCult.com -- drew some rave reviews from Cnet.com and was cited often by The Wall Street Journal. I also wanted to stir up the way media could operate there. The site never made a cent, and I never made a dent in Chinese censorship. However, some other editorial ventures -- which I considered to be less important -- had me on track to be a "million yuanonaire" (or having a million yuan, as I thought of it in my mind at the time). I overvalued one sector and undervalued another, largely due to passion. A lot of Westerners talk about how it's important to do what you're passionate about. But once known as China's richest woman, Zhang Yin made her fortune literally out of trash. Passion only gets you so far in China, and even can be a limitation. Make yuan sense instead.

3) Make your hard-earned China lessons work elsewhere. Just short of three years into China, I read the tea leaves and moved to greener pastures in Singapore, where I started a new business I thought had a solid chance of earning. It's still Asia -- and no it's not a part of China. That was 5 years ago, and the company has been a solid earner. Reading the tea leaves was part of my good fortune. I saw China opening other industries, while still tightening the media sector. I spent too much time on how to make the business legal, rather than how to make money. China was an overall difficult country in which to do business. It couldn't get much easier in Singapore, or so I heard, which turned out to be relatively true.

4) Enjoy your new self. It's mostly better than your old. Moving to China isn't just life changing; it's character altering. One-fourth of my life has been led in Asia. I have certain Asian traits now. My wife is from here, as is my daughter. I speak Chinese as a third language, although I don't write it. I consider my status in the world as no better and no worse than anyone else. In the States I used to think I was worse off. In China I thought I was better off. In Singapore I see things evenly, due to a variety of new perspectives and meditation. I hit my highest of highs in Asia. I also hit my lowest of lows. It might sound like this all evens out, just as it would back in the U.S. But the middle ground after extremes is somehow sweeter I think. It's knowing how good the middle is. Many Americans don't know that, and strive for more unwittingly.

5) Lessons 1-3 are not as relevant as Lesson 4. Lesson 5 is what really counts. So listen up. If I died today, these would be my major accomplishments, written down as stream-of-consciousness: A) Having a fantastic daughter B) Marrying my soul mate C) Winning Most Valuable Swimmer Award, Penn Acres, 8-and-under D) Being a good son, that didn't ask for too much, and gave back E) Moving to Asia. That's enough. Of these, it is perhaps "C" that suddenly strikes a chord. I did that surrounded by the love of my family, and the trophy was immense. Today, it matters to no one but me. And it will be forgotten as soon as I take my last breath. It won't be written in the history books. The thousands of articles I've written may leave some small trace of me on the Internet, and I didn't list it. Nor did I list the business I've made or done. Day-to-day, we get worked up in our plans, our reputation, our desires. Only reflection brings out what truly matters. That reflection always reflects back our inner world, immune to the public eye and everyday consciousness. It is that inner world I finally discovered in Asia, which I might have found anywhere else in the world, which makes me who I am today: A winner at life, no matter what.