5 Things I Did – DURING My Sabbatical

It is eight weeks since I started my sabbatical in June. I feel ready to share the meanings I have discovered in this time. My peers who heard about my sabbatical asked – where are you travelling? What course have you enrolled in? What are you expected to do? The same peers were pleasantly surprised when I explained that The Cocoon Initiative doesn’t expect you to ‘do’ anything! That certainly left many wondering about the purpose of a sabbatical! Or plain envious about the sudden nothingness in my life!

From my conversations with Vishal Talreja , I carried a piece of advice – draw up a list of things you wish to do during your sabbatical. When you get started, tear off the list and begin to enjoy the lull in your life.

That proved to be a good line to follow, as you will read below.

1.???? Wellbeing is high on my mind. Many of us on this social justice treadmill romanticise about a time when we can take a break to indulge in self-care. My body was giving me warning signals. I pat myself on the back that I did do the doctor – tests – doctor circles a few times. Now absorbing their sane medical advice into my daily routine.

Whilst walks were my time to think of questions of strategy, this time around I am noticing the summer blooms giving way to the fragrant monsoon jasmine on my walking path. I am stopping to say hello to the dogs and the dog walkers. Ask me later if the leopard did indeed change spots – and stuck to a predictable fitness regime!

It is this – being here and now, mindful of the people, the smells and colours – beautiful things that remained in a blurry haze, that I am consciously trying to soak in, for healing my body and mind. I am experiencing how ‘feeling slow’ feels like. It feels beautiful.

2.???? Family and friends were wary. That I would seriously stay at home and do nothing. My family, and I were quietly watching out if I was truly present with them, in the moment. My mind wasn’t far away plotting talking points for an upcoming session whilst I was head nodding to them. Wonder if you’ve experienced this too?

The best thing I did was to travel home to Odisha to be with my ailing father immediately after I started. That set off my default ‘sabbatical mode’. My dad is happy that I actually spent three weeks with him, without running off to take calls or conduct webinars (his curse during COVID days). I met school friends for lunch. I had meals with aging uncles and aunts who live in limbo – waiting for their children to visit them! I went to say hello to old shopkeepers who knew me as a school kid, and caught up with their life stories. I felt like that young daughter of the town, after a lifetime! Life in slow motion is overflowing with contentment.

There is a small detail though – my daughter is getting married. I don’t miss my ‘boss woman’ role at all. And my family is despairing over the level of details I can rake up in the numerous family WhatsApp groups.

I must remember not to push this mythical narrative at my family and friends ever again – my time is more important for changing the world for a better place, then attending to their mundane needs.

3.???? Discovering new things took some effort. I walked into my sabbatical carrying the burden of having to do something extraordinary. I am not a high on hobbies person. Not awfully creative to pursue latent singing and dancing talents, neither the sports nerd to pick a racket. I was at a loss for picking up a hobby.

Then, the most spectacular experience happened – I joined the Ochre Sky Stories Writing Workshops. I was suddenly enveloped by kindred souls who were delving deep into their personal memories, speed writing things that one was hesitant to even voice to ourselves. We wrote, read, sang, doodled, pretended to dance. We laughed, cried, held hands through our zoom room. We dared to give words to the unspoken, unheard feelings. I went deep into my childhood. I discovered it was necessary. And overdue.

I still hadn’t found a hobby. But I did meet a few close friends and family that I was putting off. I discovered that they too were uncomfortable in the unnecessary chasm we had built. We mended our broken orbits to continue cruising, with joy and peace. The sabbatical headspace allowed me to give it that time relationships require to feel nurtured.

The startling unplanned discovery – we hand raised another orphaned kitten! Jojo came into our lives starting a series of baby rearing practices. And made Aafat, our original baby, the boss of the house, a senior cat! Jojo has a deadline – he has to come on his own before I run out of my sabbatical!

It looks like I will end my sabbatical without a new hobby. Yet my hands are full. My heart is lighting up – the shimmering fairy lights kind.

4.???? Travelling for finding stillness is possible. I sensed an expectation that I must travel because how else can I truly experience a sabbatical. But I had no exotic travel plans. So, I pretended that my practical travel plans were Insta reels-worth!

I have done flights, trains and long car drives. I have done the beaches, the mountains, the small towns in the back and beyond, and the mega ones with their hyperbole. I have done the ‘coolest café’ and the ‘iconic dhabba’. I have done theatre and cinema. And loads of shopping. Phew!! That’s already a lot packed into eight weeks. I have a couple of more trips coming up before I finish my time.

But it is the mindful presence that I have enjoyed the most. I am not rushing to be somewhere and do something. The rains against the train windows, the strange tomato soup in a plastic packet, the stopping of the train at every station – I did not mind. Because hey, I was there to enjoy the journey. The mind can really play good tricks, if you send yourself the right message. I felt the newly discovered feeling – being in the moment, asking my mind, so what should I think about? Maybe not think about anything. Let the thoughts and the feelings colour me with their hues.

5.???? Enjoying aimlessness was the aim. By now you would know that this was the whole point to begin with. I started without a list (I am known as the queen of lists). I had no agenda (I am forever driven by a purpose). Many days I wake up disoriented about the date and day of the week. I was the person who wanted to know my sleep pattern every morning. I had no aim. I have no grand plans. I am celebrating being aimless. I do things on the go each day. Four weeks into the sabbatical, this happened to me. Now I fear I will get used to this before I run out of my sabbatical.

It helped that #TheCocoonInitiative really doesn’t expect you to fit into a sabbatical logframe (ah! That was a slip of the repressed narrative. I do NOT miss logframes ??). I am incredibly lucky to experience a lot of meaning in the nothingness of my life.

Aimlessness is a good aim for a sabbatical. I hope you experience it too.

Sumitra Mishra is the CEO of Mobile Creches, a pioneering organisation in Early Childhood Development, headquartered in New Delhi, India. Currently she is on sabbatical supported through The Cocoon Initiative.