5 TENETS OF THE PLAYFUL MODEL
LIFE AS PLAY — Part 4. Life needn't be competitive. It can simply be play. Sincere, not serious.
Let’s contrast the playful model with the competitive model.
SINCERE, NOT SERIOUS
In the playful model, the game is honored but it isn’t serious. To quote Alan Watts, it’s sincere, not serious. A good game, une bonne guerre, good sportsmanship — implies playfulness. Giving it your best, playing sincerely, without getting caught up in the outcome. As spectators watch thrillers or horror flicks, they relish the tension between the reality of their feelings and the knowledge that it’s only play on screen. We can approach life in the same way. As we move into the backseat and witness the unfolding, the drama loses its edge. Most conflicts vanish once we cease taking ourselves (and the world) too seriously.?
WIDER PERSPECTIVE
When children get caught up in their game and break out in tears, we remind them that it’s only play. Playfulness adopts a wider perspective. It reframes situations and holds them in a larger context. When adults tussle, who’s there to break it up, dry their tears, and remind them that it’s only a game? Even in the worst traffic jam, in the most deplorable conditions, in the face of great suffering, playfulness remains in the background. Can we remember this when disturbed by someone? Can we refrain from reactivity and widen our perspective?
SAFE
What’s the worst that could happen in a game? I could lose my house, get cancer, and die alone. Indeed. But is that happening now? Whether you frame those potential events as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ depends on your perspective. We all share the same outcome: no one triumphs over death. In a theater play, characters also suffer and die. Is the actor ever endangered? If the actor were the character, the tragedy would indeed be tragic. But the tragedy is a play. The actor enjoys playing with death and drama every night. Likewise, in life, roles come and go, bodies decay and die. Do you identify with any of it? Who are you really? What is your true, immutable essence??
THE PRESENT
Competition denigrates the present and focuses on future outcomes. Play, on the contrary, takes place in the process, in the now. Concerns about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ lie in the future. In the present moment, there are no such concepts — there’s only a happening. Watch children as they play with their toys. Observe the intensity of someone immersed in the moment. Artists sketching landscapes are enthralled in the observation. Athletes, gamers, caregivers... As Alan Watts notes, ‘the real secret of life is to be completely engaged with what you're doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.’
ONENESS
Competition, like a scientific experiment, separates in order to measure and compare. Play does the opposite. Play is all-encompassing, cohesive. A choreography, like a murmuration of starlings, falls flat if dancers don’t gel and become one. Acting sounds contrived when actors don’t listen to each other. The same applies to all interactions in life. Play is interplay, action is interaction, acting is reacting, a coalescence of the components. In order to congeal, the constituents need to be present — observing, listening. Actors and athletes use techniques and games to bring their focus into the present. It’s all meditation. The present moment is the door to experiencing and being in sync with all that is. Behind the illusion of 10,000 things, there is only One.?
Like a Rorschach blot, the distinction between both models, competition and play, depends on the focus. All games can be played in a competitive or a playful spirit. Both models have their merits. It’s up to us to decide how we use them.?
In the sports business, competition makes sense. The rules are set, the contenders partake willingly. But can such a model be applied to the complexities of life? And, above all, does this model lead to happiness? To quote tennis player Taylor Fritz, ‘It's tough to be happy in tennis because every single week everyone loses. Everyone but one person.’?
NOTE: To read the other parts of this piece, visit my profile or head over to thekingdomwithin.blog . Find more on my Substack.?
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