5 Strategies for Identifying and Defining Your Personal Style

Introduction

In January, I posted a LinkedIn poll asking my connections what they'd like to learn about. Out of the handful of topics I proposed, "Identifying and Defining Your Personal Style" was the one that received the most votes. So, every Thursday this month, I'll be posting more about this topic and sharing about the way I approach it in my business.

Fashion vs. Style

This was one of the topics in the poll, and I'll be talking about it more later in the year. For now, it's important to share some context around these terms for the sake of clarity.

For me, personally and professionally, I do not see Fashion and Style as synonymous. They are not interchangeable terms. The distinction I see and the one I use in my work with personal style clients is as follows:

FASHION = the industry, the system, the messages, the "rules" and trends associated with clothing/shoes/accessories; an external influence disconnected from individual people

STYLE = personal expression, choices, narratives and preferences associated with clothing/shoes/accessories; a tool for showcasing your personality that's inherently human

Aesthetic Tropes vs. Personal Style Identity

In my most recent post, I asked where you find personal style inspiration. As in, what informs the choices you make about wardrobe?

Style inspiration can come from anywhere and everywhere. Many people turn to fashion magazines, advertisements, or social platforms like Pinterest to look for inspiration. While browsing style mood boards, flat-lay garment photography, and other imagery, you'll likely find references to what I call aesthetic tropes. These are basically style caricatures comprised of specific style elements in specific combinations. You might also hear them called "vibes." They are different from general dress code language that includes casual, business casual, Black Tie, formal, semi-formal, business professional, etc.

Some examples of these aesthetic tropes are:

• boho, boho chic
• cottage core
• dark academia
• goth
• grunge
• punk
• twee

Aesthetic tropes are fun to look at and they almost always result in a quick hit of dopamine. They're eye candy and offer considerable value in that regard. But they're largely informed by fashion trends which are decidedly cyclical, impermanent, not sustainable. They also are highly-curated, intentionally, to entice consumers to "get the look" by buying more clothes.

Personal style identity, in contrast, does not exist in a neat little pre-made visual package. It may shift and evolve over time as your body and lifestyle changes, but at its core, personal style identity is informed by who YOU are, what YOU like, and what feels good to YOU. Uncovering your personal style identity requires some work (spoiler alert: I can help).

If you are looking for a "one-size-fits-all" solution to your personal style challenges, or a tight and tidy formula for the perfect outfit, I recommend that you stop reading now.

If you're curious about what is possible with your wardrobe, or have ever imagined what it might be like to have the wardrobe of your dreams (everything fits, looks great, and feels great), this is a great place to start.

Here are a couple examples of what Personal Style Identity looks like in my work. These assets, or "Personal Style Boards" as I call them, capture the highlights at a glance.

Have you ever noticed how retail clothing sales don't always align with the actual seasons?

Fashion aka Big Fashion's prerogative is to ensure that you buy more and buy often. The industry is focused on PROFIT first, not people. While most people only dress for four weather seasons (spring, summer, fall, winter), the Fashion industry at-large cranks out multiple pre-season, mid-season, and late-season collections throughout the year.

I can assure you the reason for this is NOT because you need a bathing suit in wintertime, or a fur-lined parka in the spring. Again, Fashion is the industry. Style is PERSONAL.

5 Strategies for Identifying and Defining Your Personal Style

The following strategies are a handful of ones I use in my work with Personal Style clients.

1. Look Inward vs. Outward

This may come as a surprise to you, but the bulk of the work in uncovering your unique personal style is internal work. It's not just shopping or picking out your clothes. By focusing inward - at your motivations, your hang-ups and fears, your core values - you are better able to separate yourself from the perceived "rules" based on the external messages you receive about style. That's when it becomes personal.

Flip through your memory bank for a few moments: what are the stand-out garments from your childhood? What are the outfits you remember, that stick with you even today?

Think about your current favorite outfit. How does it make you feel?

Brainstorm a quick list of things you always wanted to wear but never did.

Imagine all the possible contexts in your life that may call for specific kinds of clothes (work, play, date night, downtime, working out, special occasions, etc.) Write them down.

2. Start with What You Don't Like

Getting clarity around what you don't like is an important step in uncovering your Personal Style Identity. Get all that out of the way. Colors, textures, prints, features, fabrics, silhouettes, styles: what turns you off, makes you uncomfortable, doesn't feel right?

On the strictly practical side, especially if you're working with a personal stylist, it's critical to be aware of any allergies or skin sensitivities with certain materials.

Knowing what you don't want can empower you when shopping for what you do want. I'll share more about that specific detail later in this post.

3. Zero In On the Details

Before I can suggest that a client steps outside of their Comfort Zone, we have to define what that Comfort Zone is for them. Every detail matters, not just price or size: pants leg shapes (taper, flare, wide leg, cropped), types of buttons or closures (toggles, shank vs. flat, self-covered), collars (notched, shawl, Peter Pan), pleating, structure, drape, ease of use (dry clean only vs. not, for example), and versatility (coordinates with other things vs. a lone wolf like a Prom or wedding dress) are just a sample of what I mean by style details.

Consider what's already in your closet: what are the items in heavy rotation, your go-to's, the garments you keep coming back to? What do you love about them? What do those pieces of clothing have in common? In what ways do they differ? And what about the clothes stored in the attic or the back of your closet that you never wear? What keeps you hanging onto them?

Pro tip: if you had a personal style journal, you could write these insights in it. Don't have one? Open a Google or Word doc, or a blank design in Canva. Stop making excuses!

4. Develop Your Personal Style Vocabulary

The majority of my personal style clients have some working vocabulary around wardrobe. They have some general sense of what they like and don't like. Identifying and defining your personal style is an opportunity to expand your vocabulary. Investing in a couple hours of learning, research, and practice with this can dramatically improve the relationship you have with your wardrobe, for your lifetime. (Guess what? I can help with that, too.)

If you decide to enlist the support of a personal stylist, having a shared language to communicate with them is empowering. It means you can articulate preferences and boundaries with confidence. That also means reducing the risk of buying something you end up hating or, worse, the personal stylist (or personal shopper or personal thrifter as in my case) recommends or sends you something that doesn't work for you.

5. Use Your Words

I'm serious, and I am not being condescending. Words are powerful. In today's digital/virtual environment, keywords are like style vocab gold. If you know all the key style details that you love about garments, you can input these terms into search engines. Like magic, you see a variety of images that have those characteristics. Imagine shopping online for clothing: even a general understanding of what you like and don't like can help with filtering.

Mindlessly scrolling brand websites or Instagram posts is exactly what the fashion industry wants you to do. They want to control your buying choices. If words are power, and they can empower you to help uncover your Personal Style Identity, they can also help you save time and energy when shopping for clothing.

Our relationship with wardrobe can be emotionally-charged and complex. And it's no wonder: Big Fashion doesn't sell us clothing, it sells us feelings and ideals. It sells us tropes and perfectionism and broad generalizations that aren't meant for any ONE person. It sells us one-size-fits-all "solutions" that are more like duct tape than Kintsugi (IYKYK).

Some clients report feeling depressed or anxious after scrolling through Pinterest. Others report feeling sick or remorseful when they "fall for" a fashion ad on social media. Why would I suggest they continue down that path? I want them to feel JOY in their clothes, in their bodies, in their ability to make decisions that align with their personal values.

If you want to learn more about identifying and defining your personal style, keep following along on Thursdays throughout the month of February.

You might also wish to consider joining my private Facebook community, Be Boldly You: Sustainable Style + Personal Brand, an inclusive group dedicated to empowering each other to be our most radically authentic selves. On Wednesday, February 23 at 4pm Pacific I'm hosting a free LIVE 60-minute event on this very topic! Group membership is required to attend. Click here to request to join (women, femmes, nonbinary, and queer-identifying folks welcome) and I'll send you an invitation to the event once you've joined!