5 Strategies to help YOU feel CONTENT At the end of your day!
Kathy Archer
??Helping women lead their nonprofit with confidence --> So they can enjoy impactful leadership in the #nonprofit world ?? ICF Leadership Development Coach ??Podcaster ?? Author
This could be your story...
Imagine coming home tomorrow evening, and as you pull into the driveway, you stop and turn off the radio.
You feel a strange sensation coming over you — calm, peaceful, and content.
As you take a slow deep breath, you realize how you feel. It's different than the regular tense, anxious and drained feeling you usually come home with. Even though there are things to do and more going on tonight, you aren't rushing to get into the house,
You feel that time can stand still, just for a moment. Literally, for one minute, you lean back in your seat and enjoy the feeling.
Replaying your day...
Your mind plays back the events of the day. Nothing dramatic. But as you watch yourself going through the motions of the day, you notice something has changed for you in the last few months and that is evident by so much that happened today.
The list of your "good things"
??There was that conversation that, although it was tough, you are proud of the way you handled.
??You remember that meeting that you felt sure of yourself. Your confidence wasn't just in your imagination. Others noticed your confidence, too, and the comment you received from a colleague confirmed that after the meeting: You sure know your stuff. I love how you managed to explain it in a way that everyone understood and got on board. That memory brings a smile to your face.
??You think about all you accomplished today and noticed how much the little walk at lunch lifted your energy and gave you an increased focus to get through the document you were working on after lunch.
??And then, you chuckle as you see the three people you made smile on your team when you came out of your office with a spring in your step because you were so pleased with yourself. You couldn't help the mood rubbing off onto those around you.
??As you head into the house, you realize that you've got the energy to ask your partner about their day, take the dog for a quick walk and make something decent for supper. It feels a bit surreal, and you wonder if you are in a dream.
Nope. No dream!
This is what made this change for you:
- Just a tweak in your mindset.
- A minor adjustment in creating priorities.
- An awareness of what keeps you aligned with your values
- An addition of a bit of self-care throughout your workday.
- And a steady awareness of your thoughts, feelings and emotions and a commitment to do the ongoing work to manage them.
??Feeling confident and composed throughout your workday
can lead to feeling content at the end of the day.??
What you think you want
My guess is, that sure, you'd like to be rich, have all the time in the world to yourself and travel around the world. But honestly, that's not true. Not really.
What you really want
What you really want is inner peace and contentment ??
- You want to know that you've done your best and that it was more than enough.
- You want someone to love you and someone to love back.
- You want to feel like you do something meaningful each day.
We aren't looking for a lot.
So why is it so elusive?
The list of your "not so good things"
??Because your alarm went off and you fell back asleep. Or maybe you spilled coffee on your blouse. Or both. And you gave yourself shit for being such a klutz.
??Then you read that email before you left the house that pissed you off, and you let it fester.
??You started thinking about all of the things you knew you'd never get done today, but really need to get done. Your shoulders got tense, and your head started to thump. You mumbled once again: I just wish I had a manageable workload! God, I need an assistant! And your body stayed in stress mode all day
??Driving into the office, you reflect on yesterday's conversation with your boss, who once again highlighted everything you've missed without a word about all you've done. And that hurt. You turned that hurt to anger.
??You cross paths with the employee that you continue to have a personality conflict with and before you even open your mouth, you know it's not going to end well, so you put up your guard.
??And that meeting? You thought about how much everyone else in the room knows, and you felt stupid. So you held back. When someone did ask you a question, you felt tongue-tied and couldn't say anything coherently.
??The entire day you were on high alert, fearful about what would blow up next — feeling foolish and flawed.
You experienced a constant state of inner turmoil??
What happens is that your thoughts get in your way.
- One negative thought, one small doubt, one fear, one bit of overwhelm all snowball together and make a big ole mess!
- That inner turmoil then is reflected in your actions.
And the outcome isn't pretty!
???Instead of confidently addressing the topic at the meeting, you fumble over your words.
???Instead of sitting down and getting at that project and feeling very productive, you doubt your skills and waste your time rechecking emails.
???Instead of finding a place of alignment with that employee, you highlight the separation and drive the wedge in deeper.
But you can have that dream above! --> Inner Contentment!
To learn how to make that shift from feeling incompetent, incapable and insecure to feeling confident, competent and composed isn't rocket science. No, it's more like brain science.
That transformation can happen for you. Just like it did for Tammy??
You have to do the inner work of learning to manage your thoughts and feelings ??
Tammy's Transformation can be yours too!
Here's what Tammy said after committing to making consistent small changes as she did the "inner work."
I was a mess! I couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't face going to work. I was miserable at home, and it was affecting everyone in the house.
I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I was drowning and didn't know how to get back to the surface. It was a scary time for me because I did not know which way to turn or what to do. I felt sad, mad, defeated, disappointed and humiliated all at the same time. It was horrible.
I was disappointed that I hadn't been able to resolve the issues on my own. I didn't want to ask for help, but in my heart, I knew that I needed to if I wanted to get back in the game. Quitting wouldn't have taken care of the real issues.
Through my work with the lessons in The Training Library and my coaching sessions, I became more aware of the part I was playing in my negativity.
Having to explain my feelings and what led to them really made me see that I am the only one who can control me - I control my thoughts and my actions. I cannot control the behaviour of others. I can only control the way I respond and react.
I now have more energy and experience a few laughs throughout my day. I even got back on track with my eating and have been making it to the gym more frequently. What I am most proud of is finding my flow at work. Work certainly isn't perfect, but I feel more authentic and in integrity.
Transform yourself.
Find contentment by doing the inner work
If you want that shift for you, commit to doing the inner work.
- Learn to manage your thoughts, your feelings and subsequent actions.
- Learn to access your inner wisdom by mindfully tuning in more often.
- Become more aligned with your values.
- Notice the thoughts that make feel and then you react in ways you aren't proud of by building your emotional intelligence
- Learn to use your breath to calm your nervous system so you can manage your thoughts, and discover instant composure.
That will help you be in control of your emotions and end the day, feeling confident, composed and content.
Do the inner work - it's worth it!
If you need a system to help you learn to do the inner work, you'll find that in The Training Library